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What Should I Do Involving A Girl I Love

Nimrod2000Nimrod2000 Posts: 21 Confirmed not a robot
I'm sorry for making another discussion but I've got these thoughts running through my brain and I needed to get somebody elses views on it.

I'm in love with a girl! Full on infatuation with this girl I love her to pieces and I have done for over a year. She's the love of my life and I've known her for over a year. She makes me the happiest person in the world and hearing her voice calms me down while seeing a picture of her makes me feel complete. We met over Pinterest and we clicked instantly. Her friends after hearing about me said to her that she should marry me and honestly that made me feel so happy to hear that. She's honestly the most brilliant girl on the planet and she's gone through so much with her health and I'm so proud of her it's unreal. 

Problem is she's 9000 miles away, I live in England and she's all the way in Australia. And now she's dating a guy and it breaks my heart because I love her and I wish I could just be there for her physically and hold her in my arms. To love and cherish her with every part of me. 

She's told me she loves me multiple times and that she wants me to come see her, something I want to do badly and that I melt her heart. She's already planned dates for us and she's most caring and sweet girl I know. She's creative, smart, beautiful and I'm truly in love with her. It just kills me she's got a boyfriend again as her last one hurt her badly.

I want to send her a promise ring to show her that my heart, my body and my love belongs to her and I'm only hers. I've had nightmares about her death recently and I cried out "no not my wife" and woke up panicking and in a cold sweat. I cried over her a couple days ago, she's the only person that makes me cry honestly. It's been so long since I've heard anything from her, so long since we spoke I just want to tell her everything, confess it all again and wear my heart on my sleeve. I love her so much she brings me the most happiness but also the most pain in her absence.

What do I do? Is it normal to feel this way? I can't give up on her...


  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 971 Part of The Mix Family
    Hi @Nimrod2000

    It's clear you have really strong feelings for this girl and it sounds like she does for you, too. So why do you think she would have a boyfriend and not be able to commit to you in the way that it sounds like you are committed to her?

    It's totally normal to feel the way you are feeling when you are in love, I am just a little concerned she does not seem to be showing the same level of commitment as you, and it sounds like you would like to see and talk to her more than you currently are? 

    - Lucy
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
  • Nimrod2000Nimrod2000 Posts: 21 Confirmed not a robot
    Hi @Lucy307

    I think it's because of the distance between us. I'm not against long distance relationships and I honestly believe that they can work. But she made the point that long distance is too painful for us. We want to be with each other and be a couple but being so far away is difficult and painful for her. And I understand her point of view it is painful to love someone and not be able to hold them but it also shows how strong the love is. I fell in love with a girl who touched my heart without using her hands.

    We've had bad periods, our mental health not being great, her not wanting to even know me and go off with her now ex boyfriend. It hurt, it broke me. But she came back into my life and i couldn't have been more happy. She apologized and said I was beautiful and that she loves me but was scared to love because she got hurt. Now she's dating another guy yet we both love eachother and yern term to be together.

    You're right that she doesn't express or show the same level of commitment as I do but I don't hold that against her, how could I when I see my whole life in her. I know we're young and stuff, but I honestly love her to death and it outright scares me the depth of love I have for her. She's my pleasure and my pain. It makes me think maybe I'm not good enough? Maybe it's my mental health because it's bad. 

    I would love to see and talk to her more. If I could just get a simple text from her that would be enough. Or to hear her voice and remember what I'm working towards and where my heart belongs. My parents have said I'm an idiot for loving her, that I don't know her and I'll just find someone at college... But i want her. I want to hear those 3 magic words... I want to know I'm not fighting for a lost cause. I can't live without her.
  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 971 Part of The Mix Family
    Hi @Nimrod2000

    Yes long distance can be really hard, but it is do-able if you want to make it work! Are you OK with her dating the other guy for now? Do you think longer term you would want her to be exclusive with you?

    I'm sorry to hear you are not feeling good enough - but I hear you saying your mental health is bad at the moment. Do you want to talk about that a little more? Here to listen if so :smile:

    Perhaps you could mention to her you would like to talk some more? Let us know how you get on. 

    - Lucy
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
  • Nimrod2000Nimrod2000 Posts: 21 Confirmed not a robot
    Hey @Lucy307

    Do you really think that long distance could work with her?? I would really love to make it work with her because she is my world and I do love her with every part of me. I've been looking at promise rings and I found a really beautiful one for her.

    If I'm honest I'm not okay with her dating this other guy for now. I've been told recently that they've smoked pot together and that she's become a sex addict from him and her learning about her kinks and I hate hearing about it. I love her I don't want to hear that some guy is having sex with the woman I love it hurts! Longer term I would like her and me to be exclusive. I want to marry her, I want to live my life with her. I miss her so much.

    She just messaged after being gone a month and her family has been hurting her verbally, emotionally and physically threatening her so I'm on edge because I need to get to Australia ASAP so I can be there for her and protect her! Her family pulled her out of school, threatened to send her to a mental hospital and has kept her from seeing her friends and her boyfriend... I can't leave her while she's going through this and I love her too much to abandon her. She's got her phone taken off her over everything and has to hide conversations with me just because her parents look through her phone. 

    She said she had missed me and only God knows how much and that she loves me and I'm the most beautiful soul she's ever had the pleasure of meeting. We've cried over eachother and she said yesterday it was heart breaking not being able to be with me and I agree with her. But she says she also loves her boyfriend more than she can describe and is hurting because she can't be with him... I don't know what to do. I need to visit her and get to Australia, any ideas how?

    My mental health ain't great. My parents are emotionally abusive and it got to a point at home where i tried jumping out my bedroom window just to go to a doctor. I've self harmed again and I've felt so alone. 

    She can't talk much so I've got to wait for her to message me. I love her I just want to be there for her and get to her. I want to be her one and only.
  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 971 Part of The Mix Family
    Hi @Nimrod2000,

    Sorry but I don't know whether long distance could work between you, it's really difficult to predict as it can be so hard. I'm not sure whether she would commit as she has a boyfriend already? It sounds like you are very open with each other about her other relationship, have you asked her whether she would want to be exclusive with you in the future? You might want to ask this if not as it will give you an indication of whether you will want to go over to Australia to look after her. It sounds like she may be conflicted as to who she wants to be with and if you are not comfortable with an 'open relationship' with her dating both of you, she will need to make a decision/you will need to make a decision. Have you ever video chatted to make sure you get on 'face to face'?

    I'm really sorry to hear your mental health isn't good at the moment. Have you managed to get yourself to a doctor, or are you getting any support at all? Hope things get better.

    - Lucy
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
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