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depression at work (waitressing)

was wondering if anyone had the same problem when they started working. I'm a 17 year old girl and have been  in a couple of jobs but they've always been up and down because of my depression. 

for the past few weeks I've been in a really bad depressive episode and it's so difficult to talk to people , and be myself, because my mind is so foggy. I find it difficult go up to speak to my colleagues in a friendly way because of anxiety, and I can't think of anything to say because of depression .

I hate living in this repressive state, I just want to feel something. I find that when someone talks to me first it gives me energy to keep going. when I have a successful conversation, and we laugh, it feels rewarding and special. it's like I think about it at the end of the day and it makes me smile

I want to connect with people, so fit in, so badly, but it's so hard with my current state

shall I let my work know about it? 
the thing that's preventing me from telling a manager about my anxiety and depression is that they'll fire me, because I'm not reaching a good waitress standard, or they will act more awkward around me because they're aware Im sensitive or whatever 

does anyone know any ideas to let go in the moment? I'm sick of being so stuck in my head at work 
Aife[Deleted User]row11

Comments

  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Sunny ScotlandPosts: 1,981 Postholic
    Hey magic is real :)

    Yeahh I had this problem too, but I was honest about my mental health and my manager has been a great support for me. You'd be surprised about how common depression is, I spoke to my colleagues about it and 4 of them suffer with depression too (there's 9 of us on the team) so they were really understanding too and helped drag me out of my shell, I'm now a completely different person to how I was back then, so much more confident :) 

    Sorry this ain't much help but I would be honest with your manager and that, they might surprise you :) as for speaking to your colleagues, perhaps just starting off with small talk, asking how their day is, if they have any plans coming up or just compliment them of their hair or makeup  <3

    Let us know how you get on! 
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 420 Rampant Poster
    I used to work in customer service too so I really relate to what you're saying about the anxiety of speaking to people. I did also find that sometimes I completely forgot about everything and had a bit of fun when colleagues would include me and start talking to me first. 

    Echo what @BubblesGoesBoo said above, I've been pretty surprised when I've opened up to people recently how common it is to feel this way and how people want to support you, without thinking you're too sensitive. If you feel you can talk to your manager about it, do try, it is better to let them know than to suffer in silence. 

    Sending hugs <3

    - Lucy 
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
  • TheAprilFoolTheAprilFool Posts: 162 The Mix convert
    Hey, 
    I understand this. I work in fast food and I always find it hard to do my job to a good standard when I'm feeling low and my head is kind of foggy. Personally, I haven't told anyone at work about this, partly because I don't want to tell everyone I have depression if I don't have an official diagnosis. However, I have talked to my managers on some occasions when I've been upset about something, as it is helpful to not keep everything inside all the time. 

    It might be worth trying to get some help outside of work. Maybe connecting to people before or after work will help you while you're there. I sometimes use some breathing techniques or play games in my head to keep me grounded, but I understand that this is more difficult to do if you're doing work that involves speaking to people. 

    I hope things get better for you soon.

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