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Age gap

Sholay09Sholay09 Birmingham, EnglandPosts: 100 The Mix convert
edited August 2018 in Sex & Relationships
Hello I am 20 and my name is Shola. I am romantically interested in men in their mid to late 20s to early 30s. I am a bit curious to see whether if anyone on the mix here is in a relationship with someone of a little or large age difference like maybe 8 to 20 year age difference if so please comment on my discussion with yours and your partner's age as I am interested to hear about it, also please tell me how and where did you meet your partner as I am interested in that too as I would like to know some easier ways/tips for me to find an older man in their mid to late 20s to early 30s?


  • AidanAidan Potato Posts: 1,756 Postholic
    Hey Shola (:

    I think you can fall in love with anyone regardless of their age! You fall in love with them, who they are, not how old they are. There are couples with age gaps spanning decades, and couples with their birthdays within the same week or even day: it doesn't matter.

    Some people prefer others with certain features (a particular hair colour, a certain height, or in your case an age), but forget their expectations when they find the right person, the person so right they don't even need to meet any of the rules you invented for you to love them anyway. That's what love is.

    Good luck with your search, and most of all, do it for the fun!

    This shit is bananas
    b - a - n - a - n - a - s
  • Sholay09Sholay09 Birmingham, EnglandPosts: 100 The Mix convert
    Ok thank you Aidan for helping me
  • AidanAidan Potato Posts: 1,756 Postholic
    I'm sorry I didn't exactly answer your question :joy: but nonetheless, you are welcome.

    I met my partner online, here actually, our age difference is barely over a year- but I think it works because we met each other doing something we like more than anything else. 

    If you meet someone at a place- or doing something- you both enjoy, then you have at least that in common and there's a bigger chance if it working out.

    Do you have any hobbies or places you go that involve meeting people? I think that'd be a good place to start to meet people, make friends, maybe make more than friends.

    Hope this is helpful!

    Aidan (:
    This shit is bananas
    b - a - n - a - n - a - s
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Noob
    There is a 9 year age gap between Ines and myself, but our love is strong just as we are strong for each other. She's been a good friend to my family and when we met, so we began, gradually, to fall in love. Except what I did not realise is though I could invite love, I could not dictate how, when, and where my love for Ines expressed itself, and it was a journey for her, an enlightenment and exciting for the both of us.

    Therefore, @Sholay90 you can choose to surrender to love or not, but in the end, love strikes like lightning: unpredictable and impossible to deny. Love does not come with conditions, stipulations, postscript, or codes. Like the sun, love radiates independently of our fears and desires. :)
    Anyway, 'Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.'

    - Dame Joan Collins

  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 8,148 Boards Champion
    edited August 2018

    i agree what has been said above. But also wanted to add - as much as “age is just a number” - that there is no denying that there can be diffculties with age gap (not always) but like if theyre at different age they may want different things at different time compared to you. But then that can also be more about desires more than age. If makes sense. 

    Im sorry - not very helpful as im not in a relationship with someone older.
    Maybe you already have - but maybe if you google something like ‘dating older men’ you may find some experience through there or info.  Though im not sure. But id think most people meet older people through online dating.  But can always think about your interests and socialise more with that or think about where youd find 30 yr old men
    Stop imagining fake scenarios and hurting your own feelings 
  • AidanAidan Potato Posts: 1,756 Postholic
    I just want to build on what @Shaunie said about age differences still bringing difficulties and highlight something that could bring a lot of difficulty later in life if a relationship with a big age gap works out.

    The ONS says in the UK women live about three years longer than men on average, so if you get a partner the same age as you, he'll die and you'll be lonely for about 3 years. Get a partner ten years older than you, he'll die and you have about thirteen years alone. That's of course only based on averages, and you and any partner you have may be far from average, but it's a morbid fact to bear in mind when dating older men.

    Don't let that put you off! But do take it into consideration when planning ahead into your old age.

    Take care (:
    This shit is bananas
    b - a - n - a - n - a - s
  • There is 20 years between myself and my boyfriend. I love him completely but like the others have said, I’m not ignoring the fact that when I am 50 he’ll be 70 and that might not be easy. I might end up caring for him and if life goes the way of all things, I’ll be without him for about 20 years too! I have accepted this and knowing that he’s going to age before I’m ready, we just make sure we make the most of the time, even if that’s just watching a movie together, it doesn’t have to be anything amazing as long as we’re happy together. We make sure we don’t fight or argue over silly things and we’re open about everything. No matter how old you are, life is too short to be unhappy :)
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