Possibility of losing job getting me down

One-in-a-million

so as of the 6 week holidays I may not have a job to go to. This is not anyone’s fault it’s just that the way things are looking I won’t be needed in September due to me being a 1-2-1 support worker and there not been ng a child needing 1-2-1 support.

i’ve known this for about a month and have been looking at other jobs but can’t seem to find anything (in my profession) which in childcare aka nursery. I’m gutted!! I love where I work and I’m actually upset to be leaving.

I know people say “you’ll find something else”
 I know I will eventually but when?? I could be out of work for a while if I just look for nursery jobs. I’m also scared...  to look for another job.
(let me explain)

I feel safe where I am because I used to volunteer in 2011-2013 and then I returned in 2015 to do the job I’m currently doing.

in fact I’ve been a student in 3 diffrent settings (bad to change due to college) and spent a total of 4 years in all volunteering.


Ive also had 2 summer jobs 1 in 2013 and 1 in 2014.

the first job was ok, I didn’t enjoy doing it, but it was a nice income for the summer and the staff were nice enough with me. It’s the last summer job that makes me scared.  That place I feel has completely changed me for the worst. I can’t go into too much detail but I was being bullied and unlike College I had no one to go to (in the works place) with my problem. I felt so low while I was there if cry before and after work, I was having a massive increase of migraines (which the joked about) seizures (i am aware don’t black out they are just unpleasant)  I was moody, I wasn’t sleeping... you get the picture...

Im scared of messing up anything now (used to get yelled at)  in case I get something wrong and get on the wrong side of someone. So going to a new job will be terrifying! What if I make mistakes, what if I get bullied again, what if I can’t make friends! I know managers have a duty of care but they can also make life hell.

its easier when you’re a student, you can always get a transfer if you can’t get on with staff. Can’t exactly do that in a paid job. 

All this keeps going round in circles in my head and I just can’t stop thinking about it! I’ve applied for some jobs already but theres not a lot going in my area just now.
 
I just feel rubbish and worn out sorry for long post 

[Deleted User]

It's natural to have down days. Days when we feel low. But we can lift ourselves out of this hole if we really want to. Takes a little effort, but it's worth it. Start with counting your blessings.

That you have applied for some other jobs is a good and positive way forward, but the more you dwell on your present problem, the more you're going to grind yourself down. And that's not healthy, is it? You'll do yourself no favour. I think many of us are culprits for overthinking, especially at night and that increases our anxiety. A positive way out of this is to move away from this thankless overthinking because what hasn't happened yet, is not worth worrying about. I've done it, and been helped by reading a nice book or watch a documentary or a nature prog on TV.

So far though, what you have done is gained experience. You may not appreciate that now, but later you will because experience can become valuable as my GF Ines says. She's a bit older than me, but has lots of wisdom and I trust in her insight.

Now try and move your mind on to happier things. Such as your special friends and what they mean to you, and those you're close to. I've hardly more than three, plus my two lovely aunts. But they've been wonderfully supportive, and so have your friends. Call on them when you need to. They'll be glad you did. That's what good friends are for.

Go out for a walk to clear your head. A little exercise is always helpful. Come home and make a nice cool drink. Get out a favourite book, put your feet up. I think we all need extra self-care, especially during our horribly hot weather and I don't think you'll disagree with that.

Whenever a new and interesting job comes up, apply for it. I'm one for making shortlists, so how about making a list of work that you think you could try. Something maybe different?

JamJar

Hello one-in-a-million! First off, really well done for feeling able to post on the Mix boards. Your post is exactly what these places of conversation are for. How do you feel now that you have written out what has been going on in your head? Does anything seem different or easier now?

I completely understand that your most recent summer job can make you feel insecure about going into a new workplace. Although it's tricky, we do have to hope that most work places are places where you can feel safe, and so maybe that is something you can try and ask about in the recruitment process?

In regards to the actual recruitment process, it seems completely out of your control that you are no longer going to have a kid to work 1-2-1 with so there is no point overthinking that circumstance too much. Instead, do you think you might find it more productive to try and focus your attention on the things that you can change? 

Making lists are always great things to do. Right now you are in a period of time that is inherently uncertain so it might be helpful to try and add some certainty. Making lists about what you want to achieve in the next week (e.g. send off 5 applications) help give you goals to aim for and help you not lose your momentum or motivation.  

Really good work on getting some applications sent off already! I completely understand how being in this uncertain, slightly scary situation can make you feel rubbish and demotivated. But this is still reasonably early days in the job hunt and you got to keep trying. Finding a job is just as much about luck as it is about hard work, so just try and make your own luck as much as possible right now! 

Sending lots of positive thoughts your way and I hope this has helped in some way  

Remember you can always come to The Mix to talk about what's on your mind! 

One-in-a-million

Hi guys thanks for your replies sorry it’s taken me a while get back to you.
so for start off I have definitely not got a job as of next week. I’ve tried looking on the positive side about the fact that I’ve applied for jobs but can’t seem to grip to positive of it particularly as I got turned down by a more ideal job. I know that’s not something I can control but it just adds to the disappointment. My other let down is that some of the job say “you must be able to drive.” 

I can’t drive due to my epilepsy, while I don’t pass out or fit I do find it takes my concentration due to the horrible feeling I get. It’s almost like I have to focus on my seizure in order to get passed it.

anyway back to my point these job roles don’t involve driving so why being able to drive is a must is beyond me it’s annoying because it means I wouldn’t be considered for the job for a reason that is completely out of my control.

Floxy- I have been trying to do somethings to cheer myself up and I suppose it’s Worked some until I’m brought back to realising I’m not going to be earning any money. On the plus side it’s made me realise how blessed I am with my family. My dad saying “it’s ok chick, I know you’re trying.” My Mum saying “You will get something Just look at the experience you have”
and my nan who says she’s not going to except any board (money) off me while I’m not working. (Oh yes she will 😂 she’s skint as well and if I’m staying with her then I’m paying her)

Jam-jar: It did make me feel a little better writing it all down and getting it off my chest. I do still have that bit of fear in me but how do I ask this during recruitment. Would this be something I could ask at the job centre (I’m going to sign on while looking for work.)
as for making lists I might give that a go


Angle of faith: I work in a pre-school it’s privet but we have mostly funded children in. I have to admit it’s an amazing job!!!

Im keeping everything crossed that someone with an EHCP will need me in September. There’s nothing better than thinking wow I’ve taught this child how to do that or I’ve really bonded with them and they trust me. 
Hardest part is always when they leave. I manage get a quick hug from them and say goodbye and then I’ll admit I have to nip to the toilet and have a little cry when they leave (I know I know we shouldn’t get attached.)

by the way thank you for thinking about me

thank you to all 3 off you writing this gas settled my mind a bit for tonight.

night guys

One-in-a-million

Thanks never thought losing my job would make me feel this bad. I knew it would be bad but honestly didn’t imagine it being this bad. I think it’s because I’ve got such good relationships with the people there. Feel silly but went the doctors the other day for my monthly weigh in. I told her my diet went completely out the window due to stress. She asked if everything was ok and I told her I had lost my job. That was it I started crying 😑 feel really embarrassed but she was really nice and actually talked to me while I calmed down a bit. (I was early for my appointment anyway) she was telling me about how the same thing happened to her a fee years ago. Ps can’t sleep that’s why im posting at half 1 🙄
not due to this situation I’m just in agony with leg pain at the moment.

im staying clear of jobs that require a driving license. Really annoying as reading through them some have been just what I’m looking for.

I love my job as a 1-2-1 and it never gets easier saying goodbye at the end.

really dreading Friday, saying goodbye to my 1-2-1s as well as everyone else at work.

ive been looking on indeed but haven’t heard of the other 2 think I’ll give them a go.

night... well early morning 😂