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Possible panic and anxiety attacks?
Former Member
Posts: 7 Confirmed not a robot
Hello everyone...don't even know from where to start...okay, I'll try...so...here's my story...
As much as I remember everything began in the end of August 2017. I was about to start my last year in college. It was induction day, everybody was gathering from summer holidays and so on...it was time of principal's speech in the hall. I was sitting alongside other students, it was quite full hall. And suddenly I felt that was something wrong with me. In the beginning I was feeling fine, but then it came without a warning. My breathing quicken, I felt like I was about to faint, heart started to pound faster, the sides of my head behind my ears and down the neck went numb like hundred needles would be poking on my skin, literally I couldn't sit calmly and still. I just wanted to jump off of the chair and ran out of that room by any means and go straight to the bathroom, as I was feeling very strong and intense urge to relieve myself. All those 30 minutes I was battling myself with that feeling,since I have never ever experienced anything like this before. I was freaked out and scared, basically the idea of peeing my pants in the place with nearly 100 people around just add more horror, I just prayed God that this would be all over. Finally when it was over, I was somehow relax, but immediately went to bathroom, and guess what...my bladder was like nothing, empty, since I didn't drink much liquids or anything...
That was the very first time, since that I have maybe 3 or 4 situations like this till December. One of them was college trip with class. We were going with minibuses, around 10 people in one. Then it happened again, the same symptoms, the same urge and fear of peeing myself and not able to hold bladder. Several time I was asking the driver how much left till we reach the climbing on trees park(that was the trip idea, when teachers tried to convince me to sign up for that thing, my first answer was no - what if the same happens while I'm several meters from the ground with no quick exit to reach the ground). Another was while waiting for hair cut.
Why I specify December? Because then everything just got worse, soon I found myself going to toilet more frequently and more often than normal person would go. There was one crazy situation in work when I'm drinking one single cup of water and after that going straight to toilet and so on...
That was the last drop, went to hospital to start sorting this mess and from my sample of urine doctors found UTI(urinary tract infection), so I got antibiotics for that. As much as I searched information about this annoying thing, the most common symptom is burning sensation/pain while urinating. The thing is this didn't apply to me, i felt no pain, nothing, just experiencing small amounts and the same feeling that the bladder is full 5 minutes after taking the previous bathroom visit.
Antibiotics helped me, I brought the sample not once or twice but nearly 3 times just to check if everything's fine. It was fine, but for me not, Still I felt the same urge and it's like my upper and bottom part of body has lost connection.
By the start of new year I tried to attend lessons in college, but wasn't the same, I just couldn't sit still. Again the same symptoms, sadly I left college and still feel guilt and shame because it was my last 6 months. By the time I'm posting this, I should have already graduated, but I didn't.
Soon this condition affected my daily life...I couldn't leave my home if I didn't go to toilet at least several time to make sure down there is nothing, but empty. Going to groceries shop was scary and even waiting in the queue(thank God, it's a big market and has toilet upstairs) - all I want is just to get out of there.
Going to work was scary too, since I don't have driving licence, me and my boyfriend are going with taxi(it's around 15 minutes to one way). If there's no traffic - I'm fine, if there is - hold me because I want to jump out the car and it's all because I can't sit still. I remember there was 20 minutes meeting, and I was changing my sitting positions all the time - leaning back and leaning forward, placing one leg on another and vice versa.
I remember one of worst recent incidents when my friend offered me lift to home after work, she was going different way...in the middle of the journey she had to stop the car because I thought I will pee on her back seat. Somehow I managed to get home. The first thing I did was to empty my EMPTY bladder once again. So frustrating and annoying...
I had developed some kind of depression, since I noticed that I lost interest in the activities I like to do before, all my days off(I'm working 4 nights in the week, yeah you read it right - night shift) I'm spending in home, barely going outside, only if it is necessary, otherwise without toilet close by I would and already going nuts...
Is anyone else had experienced something similar and or the same and what I wrote in the beginning is really that kind of attack? Help me, please...I can't enjoy my life like I did before, all I want is just to be independent from this thing and not to think when and where to get fake relief every time I'm going out...
As much as I remember everything began in the end of August 2017. I was about to start my last year in college. It was induction day, everybody was gathering from summer holidays and so on...it was time of principal's speech in the hall. I was sitting alongside other students, it was quite full hall. And suddenly I felt that was something wrong with me. In the beginning I was feeling fine, but then it came without a warning. My breathing quicken, I felt like I was about to faint, heart started to pound faster, the sides of my head behind my ears and down the neck went numb like hundred needles would be poking on my skin, literally I couldn't sit calmly and still. I just wanted to jump off of the chair and ran out of that room by any means and go straight to the bathroom, as I was feeling very strong and intense urge to relieve myself. All those 30 minutes I was battling myself with that feeling,since I have never ever experienced anything like this before. I was freaked out and scared, basically the idea of peeing my pants in the place with nearly 100 people around just add more horror, I just prayed God that this would be all over. Finally when it was over, I was somehow relax, but immediately went to bathroom, and guess what...my bladder was like nothing, empty, since I didn't drink much liquids or anything...
That was the very first time, since that I have maybe 3 or 4 situations like this till December. One of them was college trip with class. We were going with minibuses, around 10 people in one. Then it happened again, the same symptoms, the same urge and fear of peeing myself and not able to hold bladder. Several time I was asking the driver how much left till we reach the climbing on trees park(that was the trip idea, when teachers tried to convince me to sign up for that thing, my first answer was no - what if the same happens while I'm several meters from the ground with no quick exit to reach the ground). Another was while waiting for hair cut.
Why I specify December? Because then everything just got worse, soon I found myself going to toilet more frequently and more often than normal person would go. There was one crazy situation in work when I'm drinking one single cup of water and after that going straight to toilet and so on...
That was the last drop, went to hospital to start sorting this mess and from my sample of urine doctors found UTI(urinary tract infection), so I got antibiotics for that. As much as I searched information about this annoying thing, the most common symptom is burning sensation/pain while urinating. The thing is this didn't apply to me, i felt no pain, nothing, just experiencing small amounts and the same feeling that the bladder is full 5 minutes after taking the previous bathroom visit.
Antibiotics helped me, I brought the sample not once or twice but nearly 3 times just to check if everything's fine. It was fine, but for me not, Still I felt the same urge and it's like my upper and bottom part of body has lost connection.
By the start of new year I tried to attend lessons in college, but wasn't the same, I just couldn't sit still. Again the same symptoms, sadly I left college and still feel guilt and shame because it was my last 6 months. By the time I'm posting this, I should have already graduated, but I didn't.
Soon this condition affected my daily life...I couldn't leave my home if I didn't go to toilet at least several time to make sure down there is nothing, but empty. Going to groceries shop was scary and even waiting in the queue(thank God, it's a big market and has toilet upstairs) - all I want is just to get out of there.
Going to work was scary too, since I don't have driving licence, me and my boyfriend are going with taxi(it's around 15 minutes to one way). If there's no traffic - I'm fine, if there is - hold me because I want to jump out the car and it's all because I can't sit still. I remember there was 20 minutes meeting, and I was changing my sitting positions all the time - leaning back and leaning forward, placing one leg on another and vice versa.
I remember one of worst recent incidents when my friend offered me lift to home after work, she was going different way...in the middle of the journey she had to stop the car because I thought I will pee on her back seat. Somehow I managed to get home. The first thing I did was to empty my EMPTY bladder once again. So frustrating and annoying...
I had developed some kind of depression, since I noticed that I lost interest in the activities I like to do before, all my days off(I'm working 4 nights in the week, yeah you read it right - night shift) I'm spending in home, barely going outside, only if it is necessary, otherwise without toilet close by I would and already going nuts...
Is anyone else had experienced something similar and or the same and what I wrote in the beginning is really that kind of attack? Help me, please...I can't enjoy my life like I did before, all I want is just to be independent from this thing and not to think when and where to get fake relief every time I'm going out...
1
Comments
Sounds like this has been affecting you massively
im sorry that the fearing of peeing yourself has consumed so much of your thoughts and time. Understandably sounds v difficult & frustating & hard to aviod. Though i cant say i have the same fear, but have similar fear. And i think maybe more common than think.& not alone
You said the antibiotics helped you - do you not need them anymore? Maybe could go back to doctors? I know common symptoms of an UTI is pain during peeing. But symptoms can also be going regular than normal and dont have to have every symptom.
It seems like something youre thinking about constantly when youre out - about where toilets are ect, and i think personally if i thought about that a lot id need a wee more often too. Does it only happen when youre out? I know may be easier said than done. But trying to distract yourself from these thoughts could help a lot? Mindfullness stuff and self care could help to help relax and calm your anxiety.
Hope i helped.
take care!
At the time when I was diagnosed with UTI I received a letter with the confirmation because hospital couldn't contact me via phone.
However couple of days ago, I went to hospital for the urine test to see if I have something again or not, I should be able to find out on today's afternoon.
Believe, the thought of that thing never leaves my head, I became obsessed and don't know how to break that circle.
I did some research also, they say exercising helps, cutting down specific things such as caffeine, alcohol(not saying I'm drinking like crazy, really no...) too. I read about cognitive behaviour therapy, how to control your thoughts, emotions and feelings and would like to talk with someone who specializes in this kind of thing.
P.S. thank you for replying, honestly I thought no one will, appreciate that. I'll try and do my best to survive.
Did you find out the results this afternoon for UTI test?
hope youre doing okay today
I'm really sorry to hear you're strugglign with this and I was wondering if you've talked to someone about this? Have you sought help via a GP or such?
Nobody here can diagnose you and so I'm not going to try that I am however going to help you from being in a similar situation,
The symptoms you experienced sounds like a panic attack for sure but you can't be certain without professional advice.
You said that you had a UTI in the past and you've been to the hospital before a few times over it?
I'm wondering if maybe you had a UTI once before and now in your mind you are worried that you still have one or are afraid of developing one?
You definitely sound like you have became more worried and on edge than you used to be.
Have you considered writing down your symptoms and going to the doctors?
They may be able to refer you to someone who can assess how you feel and maybe figure out if there's a reason behind these worries?
For the timebeing I'd like to signpost you to some helpful guides.
In the event you get symptoms of a panic attack or think you are having one here's some info about what to do: http://www.themix.org.uk/mental-health/anxiety-ocd-and-phobias/im-having-a-panic-attack-5819.html
If you decide to seek help and or advice here's a helpful article for seeing your GP: http://www.themix.org.uk/mental-health/mental-health-treatments/going-to-see-your-gp-about-a-mental-health-problem-6835.html
And here's a brief description about phobias: http://www.themix.org.uk/mental-health/anxiety-ocd-and-phobias/phobias-6138.html
All the best x
Hi, sorry for my late reply...
It finally appeared that they couldn't find anything, basically it was on the borderline, so I had to repeat the test again. I should be able to find out this Monday or Tuesday, if again happens I will repeat until I get the results
I bought some books about mindfulness, cognitive behaviour and the same anxiety and panic attacks, hopefully reading them all and not for the waste.
Hi, believe me, I'm seeing doctors since last year and I think it might become quite a habit
Before it was confirmed that I had UTI, I didn't felt anything bad, except those several situations when everything started.
I've said the main symptoms and even asked my GP(he's not therapist, however) if that UTI I had was somehow related to the anxious state I have most of the time, he said no and explained that it might be just because I'm that kinda of a stressful person and it has nothing to do with it.
And in case, you're wondering the medicine I'm taking is called Sertraline.
They gave me several contacts, including this website and phone numbers. The idea of speaking through the phone is scary, since I'm quite sensitive person and can get emotional quite fast, English is not my first language, so I would prefer to have face to face, or 1 2 1 live chat.
Thanks x
I'm sorry I weren't aware you were already talking to your GP about it and were ready on medication.
I'd like to say I'm surprised you weren't offered more support with this but sadly this is becoming more and more common.
How long have you been on sertraline? If you've been taking it a while and have not noticed any changes its best to go back and ask for a better medication.
I understand where you're coming from in regards to phone calls.
I've never been a fan myself and still aren't so it's best you've came here as you can get lots of support.
Have you not been offered any type of help other than online? Maybe CBT OT any types of therapies?
Best wishes x
Hi again, sorry for my really late reply.
Finally I found out the results of my urine sample, and apparently they have found the same infection, so now I will be friends with antibiotics for the whole week.
Hi, sorry for replying late, I've a lot going on around these days.
Just for the heads up, they found that I have an urine infection once again, antibiotics here we come
This Tuesday, I'll have my appointment with GP who prescribed me sertraline like three weeks ago to discuss any effects I have. First week being on them was horrible, even with reduced dose, now I'm taking 50mg a day. Now I feel so so...I think that infection makes me queasy.
I have been offered various ways and options where to seek for help, even back at my workplace my employees became aware of my condition and even they offered help.
To be honest with you, I have no idea from where to start, it looks like I have a lot of to choose from, but no clue which one to try first.