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Help?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 108 The Mix Convert
in Health & Wellbeing
Um.. Dose anyone know how to help me cope with being raped? It didn't happen recently or anything it happened my grade nine year I'm now in grade 11 but I just need to know if people understand and if anyone can help me out.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Noob Posts: 186 Helping Hand
    Hi there,

    Honestly if you figure that one out let me know! But honestly, is there anyone in your life who you could talk to about it? Family? Friends? a teacher? It is honestly something that is incredibly difficult to go through on your own. Of course we are all here for you. I see that you're not from the UK so I have found this service to help if you decide:

    Ottawa Rape Crisis Centre
    24hr Crisis Line: 613-562-2333
    Office Line: 613-562-2334
    E-Mail: orcc@orcc.net
    Website: http://orcc.net/ 

    The England and Wales Rape Crisis website also contains a lot of useful info regarding rape and sexual assault if you need any support in understanding.

    https://rapecrisis.org.uk/ 

    Please keep talking to us and sharing how you feel if you find that helpful at all.

    -ShatteredSecrets


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 108 The Mix Convert
    No I don't have anyone to talk to.. When I try my parents turn away and ignore it and my friends well they leave 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 29 Boards Initiate
    edited September 18

    Hi @Past User,


    First off I want to say I’m so sorry to hear what you’ve been through and that you feel like you don’t have anyone to talk to. It sounds like this has been weighing on your mind for a while so I think it’s really brave of you to be reaching out. Remember that although you might feel this way, you’re definitely not alone – there are many people who understand what you’re going through and are here to listen and support you, even if those people aren’t your parents or friends. It must be really difficult to have these people in your life be unsupportive.


    The Mix has group chats most nights that you may find helpful to cope – there are general chats if you wish to talk about more lighthearted things to get your mind off anything you’ve been feeling, or there are support chats where you can talk more about the issues you’re having. There are also support circles you can sign up for to take turns discussing whatever is on your mind with a group of no more than 10 people. These group chats are a great way of getting some community support and advice if that is what you’re looking for. 


    I would also agree with ShatteredSecret’s suggestion to talk to a crisis centre if you feel like that would be helpful. These crisis centres have people you can talk to at any time who completely understand what you’re going through. The Ottawa Rape Crisis Centre might be good to get in touch with if you feel like you wish to speak to someone in person or over the phone via their helpline or counselling services. Do you think either of these services might be something you could look into?


    Best,

    Greta

    Post edited by TheMix on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 108 The Mix Convert
    They might be able to. It'll be hard tho.. Most of what I've dealt with my parents don't understand and people I thought were my friends told me over and over it was my fault and I've been trying to ignore it but that's really really hard to do.. I may look into the crisis lines I'm not sure yet
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    I'm so sorry to hear you've been through this, but you're not alone. I'm sorry to say that it's incredibly difficult to cope with. The best thing I did was to see a counsellor - the fact that someone impartial can talk to you about it (and you can bawl your eyes out if you need to) is really powerful and also in my experience properly, properly helps if you are even slightly blaming yourself. Do you feel you could go to the Crisis centre as mentioned above?

    To be honest I never really spoke about it with my friends or family because I didn't want to, it's totally up to you whether you want to or not, but I really would recommend talking to somebody otherwise it'll eat you up inside. Take it from me. We are all here if you need to talk, too.  <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 108 The Mix Convert
    Its hard to talk about I've been told since it happened it was my fault. Everything that's happened to me I've deserved and now I feel helpless and worthless and like I'm nothing important sometimes I even wonder if I have a point to live 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 108 The Mix Convert
    Why is it when parents fight you get blamed? What could I have done that would cause them to get so mad and freak? 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 108 The Mix Convert
    I don't know how to word this right so I'm just gonna go for it.
    I woke up this morning I live in Canada so its around 8:48 I feel horrible I hate life at this point I'm stressed beyond help and beyond depressed I have nobody right now I feel like I'm suffocating in self hate I can't deal with this I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't keep living this way.
    Can someone, anyone help me? :'(
  • RayofhopeRayofhope Posts: 152 Helping Hand
    edited September 18

     Hi @Past User,

    Well done for opening up about this it can be really hard to do. You spoke about finding it hard to talk to someone about whats happened and that is understandable talking can be the hardest stage.


    What happened isn't your fault and I am sorry to hear how you are feeling. Do you have anyone which you are close to and could talk to about things?


    There are also services out there which might be able to help you, below there are a couple of links which might be worth having a look at.

    http://211.org/

    http://worldhelplines.org/canada.html#Women


    How are you feeling now?


    Hope to here from you soon.

    Rayofhope

    Post edited by TheMix on
    Life doesn’t require we be the best, only that we try our best
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 108 The Mix Convert
    I feel horrible still my family doesn't understand my grandparents and friends don't listen to me unless its something happy and cheerful I say.. I try and hide how I feel I put on a fake smile a fake face you know? Hide everything inside keep it to myself but its not working very well anymore 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Were listening. Please dont bottle up how you feel.
    None of it was your fault. Your life is worthy. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 108 The Mix Convert
    Its so hard to see that all I see is how I mess up how I hurt people and how I somehow desever everything I'm getting
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    :( we can be so horrible to ourselves soemtimes. Is there anything you like about yourself. Even one small thing? You seem lovely. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 108 The Mix Convert
    I don't like anything at all about myself I'm ugly and alone and will never be loved by anyone 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 108 The Mix Convert
    I try being nice and helpful but only end up hurting people in the end and I just don't know what to do.. I keep thinking if people didn't know what I was feeling and couldn't see how sad I was maybe they would like me but instead they make fun of me.. I get called.so many things I can't repeat and it hurts I don't even know the last time I was happy, the last time I actually slept or the last time I ate a real meal
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    You have good intentions though - even if you do hurt people. We all have hurt someone at some point , even without intention. 

    Its sad that people make fun of you. It says more about them than you though. Have you told anyone else about that?

    Do you think youd make yourself some food soon? Please look after yourself
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 108 The Mix Convert
    I've told teacher and guidance Counselors but its always the same I have no hard prof they are say these things and there's nothing they can do.. I don't think I want to eat.. I'll just look worse anyway 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 108 The Mix Convert
    Letting anyone and everyone know I'm gonna be away from July 3-July 13 do to operations.. I will try and keep u all updated but I may not be able to use my phone much during that time. 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 108 The Mix Convert
    I'm sorry to anyone who reads this post
    I'm not able to do this anymore
    Nothing can help me
    I'm nothing more then a mistake, a problem, a bug nobody wants around 
    As I've said in my other threads I don't want to be a bother, I don't want to be in the way of more deserving people getting the help they need, so I am not even sure why I'm here anymore... I wanna thank everyone for helping me... 
    But I'm to far gone to be helped
    I'm sorry
    My grandmother was right 
    So was all the kids at my school
    I'm a mistake 
    A lost causes
    So thank you for trying to help..
    I guess I just can't be helped
  • AoifeAoife Community Manager Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
    edited September 18
    Hey @Past User

    Are you feeling safe right now? It sounds like everything is feeling really overwhelming and that you've lost a lot of hope in everything. What do you feel would need to change for things to get better?

    There are people out there who can help you through this. You don't have to go through this alone.  I've listed a few organisations below. Do reach out to them if you need someone to talk to or if you're not feeling safe. We're also here for you too. :) 

    ConnecTeen - Canadian youth peer support with IM chat, email, phone, hotline, and text. Text to 587-333-2724.

    IM Alive - IM chat crisis counselling with trained volunteers. Available to visitors from anywhere worldwide.

    There's also lots of other Canadian support services you can find over on this website.
    I also wanted to say that you're not a bother on here at all. You deserve support too and we're all here for you :) 

    You can fight through this Ashleen <3
    Post edited by TheMix on
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 108 The Mix Convert
    But I don't deserve the support I'm getting
    I don't deserve anything
  • AoifeAoife Community Manager Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
    edited September 18
    Hey @Past User

    You deserve support, everyone does. What make you feel like you don't deserve support? 

    Would you feel comfortable reaching out to one of those organisations I linked you to above? I've also found another one you might like to try too. I've listed it below :) 

    Kids Help Phone is an organisation based in Canada that offers live chats with counsellors and also a helpline that you can call on 1-800-668-6868. They also have a free crisis text line that you can reach out to as well. It's available 24/7 and you can reach out to them by texting HOME to 686868. You can read more about how their text service works here.

    Stay strong Ashleen <3
    Post edited by TheMix on
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 108 The Mix Convert
    edited July 2018
    I think you for the sites but unfortunately I can't use them.. The charge extra fees to me phone and I can't have my parents finding out.
    The wouldn't understand
    And I don't deserve support cuz once again I've let people down.
    I've self-harmed again and I'm feel horrible for doing so
  • AoifeAoife Community Manager Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
    edited September 18
    Hey @Past User

    It can be hard reaching out for help when we're worried about our parents finding out. Would you feel comfortable using a pay phone? That way the number won't show up on your phone bill and it's still free to call. You might find it helpful to read through the FAQ page on the Kids Help Phone website as it goes through how everything works if you want to use their service.

    I've included a few of their Q&A's here too :) 
    If I call, will the number show up on my phone bill?

    It depends. If you call from a cell phone, the number may show up on your bill, but it won’t if you call us from a land line. You could also consider using a pay phone – it’s free.

    They also have an FAQ page about their crisis text line too which you can find here. It says that depending on your phone provider, the number may appear on your bill but it won't show the name Kids Help Phone or Crisis Text Line. 
    Is the service completely free?

    Yes, Crisis Text Line powered by Kids Help Phone is completely free. There is no charge for sending or receiving texts, and the service will not use up any prepaid texts as part of an existing texting plan.

    Please note, the service is not currently accessible through Vidéotron.


    Will the number show up on my bill?

    Depending on your phone carrier, the number may appear on your phone bill. However, the name Kids Help Phone or Crisis Text Line will not appear anywhere on your bill.


    How do you feel about trying to reach out to one of these places after reading through this information? 

    You mentioned that you feel like you've let everyone down and don't deserve support. What makes you feel like you've let everyone down? 

    We're here for you :) 
    Post edited by TheMix on
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 108 The Mix Convert
    edited July 2018
    I feel like I've let everyone down cuz I keep promising I won't self harm.. Keep promising I won't self-harm again.. But I did.. 
    I did again and now nobody will want to help that was the one thing keeping me in rehab
    I wasn't allowed to self-harm or harm myself in any way
    But I did and if my rehab finds out I'm gonna get in a lot of trouble 
    I'm there for eating and my depression.. Now I've ruined it 
  • AoifeAoife Community Manager Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
    edited September 18
    Hey @Past User

    I've just edited your thread slightly to keep things safe for the boards. We have to be careful about talking about details around self-harm, but you're more than welcome to talk about how you're feeling. You don't need to feel ashamed for self-harming. It sounds like you're going through a lot right now and life is feeling really hard. People do have relapses and that's okay. When we have a relapse, that doesn't make you weak or not worthy of support. Relapses can actually help you get stronger and this is all part of the recovery journey. Do you find any distraction techniques help you when you're having urges to self harm? 

    It sounds like you're really worried about rehab finding out. The team are there to help and will hopefully want to be as supportive as they can to help you through this. What makes you feel like they won't be understanding? How were you finding the support in rehab?

    - Aife
    Post edited by TheMix on
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 108 The Mix Convert
    I'm so sorry I didn't mean to put anything offensive on..
    I guess I wasn't thinking I'm so so so sorry
    Rehab was good.. 
    I started eating again
    Umm I just.. I promised them since I was told I had a brain tumor.. I needed to keep my streght up 
    I still haven't had my surgery to get it removed cuz I'm not strong enough health wise..
    They told me I needs to stop self harming and I needed to start eating so I could have the surgery to save my life
    And I've let the whole team down
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