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How do you ask your partner if they've been checked recently?

Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 29 Boards Initiate
in Sex & Relationships



Hey everyone,

 

Asking your partner if they’ve been checked for STDs can be an uncomfortable topic to bring up, but it doesn’t have to be. Having these discussions is really important to ensuring both you and your partner’s safety, and there are ways to go about it that can minimize the awkwardness.

 

How do you ask your partner if they’ve been checked recently? Share your thoughts here.

 

Greta


Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Ooh this is an interesting one, 

    I guess honestly from my trust issues a statement that they're clean would not be enough. 

    I'd probably like to see a letter or recent text from a clinic saying they're clean.
    Bare in mind if I was getting into a new relationship this is what I would likely do. 

    However in a loving relationship where you know you're both clean(like my current one) I wouldn't worry so much unless I had real signs that they were cheating then I would withhold sexual activity or use protection until they get tested or tell me the truth. 

    I really don't want to come across as harsh but you're healthy is important.

    In the event of a new relationship I would sit then down and have a serious talk about it and say something like "do you have any STIs?  I need to be aware of?" if they don't have any recent tests or proof maybe ask them if they would like it if you both got tested so you could both enjoy your new relationship fully. 

    If the event of cheating I would sit them down and ask if they used protection, I wouldn't be mad and we can work around this be it going our separate ways or sorting it out if we still want to be together long term,  but whether they used protection and have been tested is very important to know regardless x
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    I think knowing roughly what you want to ask can help. Like maybe thinking about what wanna ask beforehand could help if the person think is really awkward. Is just for safety so shouldnt have to be awkward. And think about asking things like - ‘have you been tested recently’. In a time and situation that feels comfortbale for them and less awkward as possible. Probably not the best time to ask right before having sex tho. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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