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How do you ask your partner if they've been checked recently?

GretaGreta London, UK Posts: 29 Boards Initiate

Hey everyone,


Asking your partner if they’ve been checked for STDs can be an uncomfortable topic to bring up, but it doesn’t have to be. Having these discussions is really important to ensuring both you and your partner’s safety, and there are ways to go about it that can minimize the awkwardness.


How do you ask your partner if they’ve been checked recently? Share your thoughts here.




  • LaineLaine Llama Mama Gone for GooPosts: 2,417 Boards Champion
    Ooh this is an interesting one, 

    I guess honestly from my trust issues a statement that they're clean would not be enough. 

    I'd probably like to see a letter or recent text from a clinic saying they're clean.
    Bare in mind if I was getting into a new relationship this is what I would likely do. 

    However in a loving relationship where you know you're both clean(like my current one) I wouldn't worry so much unless I had real signs that they were cheating then I would withhold sexual activity or use protection until they get tested or tell me the truth. 

    I really don't want to come across as harsh but you're healthy is important.

    In the event of a new relationship I would sit then down and have a serious talk about it and say something like "do you have any STIs?  I need to be aware of?" if they don't have any recent tests or proof maybe ask them if they would like it if you both got tested so you could both enjoy your new relationship fully. 

    If the event of cheating I would sit them down and ask if they used protection, I wouldn't be mad and we can work around this be it going our separate ways or sorting it out if we still want to be together long term,  but whether they used protection and have been tested is very important to know regardless x

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈

    "What's gonna be left of the world if you're not in it?" ~ Bastille

    "Here's to the ones that we got
    Cheers to the wish you were here, but you're not" ~ Maroon 5
  • ShaunieShaunie I’m alive but I’m dead England 🏠Posts: 11,282 An Original Mixlorian
    I think knowing roughly what you want to ask can help. Like maybe thinking about what wanna ask beforehand could help if the person think is really awkward. Is just for safety so shouldnt have to be awkward. And think about asking things like - ‘have you been tested recently’. In a time and situation that feels comfortbale for them and less awkward as possible. Probably not the best time to ask right before having sex tho. 
    𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐒𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐚𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝. 💕💕
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