Uni meeting . Next year in question?
I am uni student. Just finished first year.
in about 2 days I have a meeting with my personal tutor at uni and my 'support person'. I'm so scared. My personal tutor is doubty on me continueing on to next year because of my anxiety and doesn't think I can cope or manage next year. And because next year we are moving to a different campus it adds to my anxiety and we placement next year so she does't think I will do it. She is constantly saing to me, "How you going to cope?" etc... "do you think you can" "why you putting yourself of 2 more years of 'distress'".
She claims that this year, my attendance hasn't been good (in total I have miseed 5 days) and said for my assignment that "I need to a lot of work". A lot of our uni work is directed tasks. and have 5 assignments in totial per year. 2 last semester, one I got like just under 50% (40% is a pass) and she says "got a lot of work to do" Like come-on seriously, that was my first assignment of uni so I personally don't thik it's that bad.
using the above first para. I feel scared that she's going to be all about convincing me to leave uni. I saw her in March which is when I had my first meeting with her and she made those above comments and told me to think if I wanted to continue uni. In fact she told me to leave there an then and not return back after easter. But I was like I might as well finish the year and get a Level 4 out of it. She was't keen on that but had to make do with it. She then asked me in May whether I was going to continue and I said yeas, (It did take some thought) and she was like we need to meet again soon and she's invited my 'support person' to it.
I suffer from anxiety and 'bouts of depression' so it can be a real challenege at times continuously. ButI simply don't feel ready for the 'wide world' and I'm enjoying my course. So If I can I want to continue in uni and finish it so I can do the job I want. I know I will find it hard and my anxiety and depression wil continue to be battle but I don't want her putting me down continuously. With help and support I'm sure I can do it. COme on, I did GCSE:s and A-level and even then my head of sixth form wanted to kick me out but I stayed and got reasonable grades.
Last year, when it came to transition my line was " I'd rather die than face transition" and felt quite suicidal but with the support of my TA I overcame and managed it. Yes, starting uni I was horrible and really struggled but I rose above it.
How do I put my ways forward? Any ideas? Any help? I feel stuck. The same phrase is coming back.