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Scared of my physical relationship

i have been with a boy for 18 months and I lost my virginity to him. I am however scared of having sex with him for numerous reasons but this fear is leaching into other aspectes of our physical relationship and I don’t know why or how to fight it. I don’t want to be scared but I am and it just gets worse after he has left. Any advice would be appreciated 🙂


  • Buttercup8Buttercup8 Posts: 2 Newbie
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 976 Part of The Mix Family
    edited June 2018
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • peachysoopeachysoo Posts: 151 Helping Hand
    Hey buttercup8,

    Completely agree with Meggles, it's okay to be scared, but it's also really good if you're able to communicate these fears to your boyfriend. Humans can't read each other's minds, and he won't necessarily know how you feel unless you tell him, and if he doesn't know how you feel, how can you work over this together? It's important for him to know at the least just to make sure you're not being put into situations you don't want to consent to, and, hopefully, to stop things from worsening further and to improve the physical aspects of your relationship.

  • LaineLaine Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Hi :)

    As Meggles and peachysoo suggested have you tried communicating with him? There are many reasons why someone may fear sex and someone just may find it hard due to anxiety, i struggle myself with it sometimes but there's always ways around whatever your problem(s) are. 

    he will understand and work with you to feel more comfortable x

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈

    "This is my family. I found it, all on my own.
    It's little, and Broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good." ~ Stitch

    "Lately, I've been struggling with all the simple things in my life" ~ Cian Ducrot

    "I don't know if it's because my heart hurts or I'm insecure" ~ Juice Wrld
  • Tee ATee A Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
    Hey @Buttercup8 :smile: 

    I agree with the others. Have you tried to communicate how you feel? If not, maybe not telling him may also be playing into your fear. That aside, feeling scared/fear is completely normal. Maybe try working you way up to sex again, i.e. kissing etc. See how that makes you feel first. 

    Good Luck, 

    - Tee A :3
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