Which post should win POTM July?

Former Member

Hi all, it's time for POTM Thanks to all who nominated posts this month.

Don't forget to keep nominating posts for next month's POTM!

Here are the nominations for July:


yellowseahorse nominated WhispersOfTheHeart for this post in How to get shit done - DBT homework and other stuff

WhispersOfTheHeart wrote: »

Hey Notagainvitelina,

I seem to be like stalking your posts, but I can really relate to the things you post on here. I really sympathize on not wanting to DBT homework, however absolutely hated the ones that were rather lengthy. Can I ask how long you've been going DBT? - Sorry if I've asked in the past, memory of a sieve mind you - Even if you don't manage to do it for the deadline given, you could always do what Jo says, take a bit longer with it, and do it in parts. You're meant to take it at a pace you feel comfortable. Not at the therapists speed.

It took me a fair few months to actually get into the routine of DBT, and it only really started helping me when I was coming to the end of the year with it. I found the aspect of Mindfulness quite strange, then became obsessed with sharing it with everyone, I think I found the aspect of actually engaging with it once I got my head around it to be helpful.

Even if the therapy didn't reduce negative actions, for me, it actually kept me alive, and kept me going. I know you've said you're discharging yourself, but it takes a hell of a lot of effort, and DBT is something that you really do have to be ready for, and want to engage with if you want it to work. Often, were not all ready to take that step in recovery, but then, alternative support can be offered, for example if you just wanted someone to talk to, etc.

I know you posted yesterday about moods being a bit up and down, how have they been today? - It sounds like you've had a really tough time recently with it all, you mentioned it was a temp therapist, is the non temp one any better? It can be a pain trying to explain reasons to being late, I used to always have a lesson that finished 20 minutes before I had to go to DBT, my therapists suggested I speak to the teacher about leaving early, but even then I just ended up staying around chatting to friends until dad came to pick me up for DBT - He said I could of gotten hear in time, and again, it was a therapy interfering thing, when it really wasn't. I found asking to change my therapist who did DBT useful, as I was getting no-where with the original one, whereas, the new one was amazing!! (Early stages of DBT).

If I was offered it again, with that worker etc. I think I would have taken it slightly more seriously than I had done, because I really did find aspects of it really helpful, and I guess it's just about finding out what helps you and often it can take a lot of searching before actually finding it and a dreadful amount of change too.

Police are so used to seeing individuals with mental health issues drunk, so they make the horrible assumption of them CONSTANTLY being drunk, it's externalizing it, and it isn't fair on anyone. The comment they made wasn't fair at all though. I'm sure you already know this, but with BPD your mood can be quite up and down, and that was likely as aspect of why you hit that low point without actually really knowing why. It's a pain, but BPD isn't treated by medication, you can get mood stabilizers to ease your mood about, but often they can include side effects such as feeling, tired, etc. Are you currently taking anything at the moment?

Do keep us updated on how you're doing, and just drop me a message if you ever wanted a natter, even a general one, I can talk about gosh knows whatever shit

Best wishes,
WhispersOfTheHeart

butterfly123 nominated Melian for this post in Update...Nana is poorly, coping with mental health...

Melian wrote: »

Not wanting to see her is understanable. I remember when we were younger, (I was a teenager at the time) mum's Grandma was seriously ill. We weren't allowed to see her because mum didn't want us to remember her in that way.

People show emotion differently. It doesn't make you a rubbish person. I know I was rather "ok" when Granddad was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I then went upstairs, sat there and crired my eyes out. When I was told he died, I was rather "ok" about the whole thing again. It didn't seem real, if that makes any sense? It, from experience, takes time to sink in what's really happening. It wasn't until the funeral that it had sunk in that he'd really gone. 2 people (mum and cousin) sat either side crying their eyes out, didn't help at all!

There's no right or wrong way of dealing with this.

butterfly123 nominated Petrichor for this post in When do you involve friends in a new relationship? - Poll

Petrichor wrote: »

I think, as much as the "screw what people think" attitude towards love does have its validity, it is always good to at least have an outsider's opinion available. You can't always see your own relationship for what it is and it's easy to be blinkered. That, and having someone to offload to if the going gets tough is invaluable sometimes.

WhispersOfTheHeart nominated Miss_Riot for this post in Should people live together before they get married?

Miss_Riot wrote: »

It seems utterly crazy to me to even consider not living with MrRiot before we get married - you do not know someone until you've seen they wear the same pants for 3 days on the trott and find out that they eat peanut butter, marmite and chocolate sandwiches at 3 am. Everyone has some habit which is intollerable to someone!

butterfly123 nominated Petrichor for this post in Should people live together before they get married?

Petrichor wrote: »

Also

Something is really bugging me about this question and I'm not sure what it is. Marriage is more arbitrary than people seem to realise. People don't have to get married; if they're living happily together then that says more than a marriage ever could.

butterfly123 nominated WhispersOfTheHeart for this post in Should i still be volunteering?

WhispersOfTheHeart wrote: »

The biggest regret I would say I made was letting Autism hold me back. Yes, I blamed it for everything, but then I slowly made the changes I needed to, I love volunteering, it keeps me going, and a diagnosis you've received doesn't stop you from being the great volunteer you currently are. The great thing I found about volunteering was they were quite flexible, and worked around my needs, but was defo something that made me feel like I had purpose when everything else was going pretty dreadfully.

butterfly123 nominated WhispersOfTheHeart for this post in The 'I need a hug' thread

WhispersOfTheHeart wrote: »

By posting on here it shows that not all of you actually wants to give up. As it would be pointless saying anything about it if you had given up. Recovery is hard as fudge and their are so many barrios in our way sometime. I get that it might just feel easier not bothering or putting the effort in.

But what I can assure you is that you don't have to battle all the barrios you face alone because despite the fact that you may not believe right now, there are people out there that care a great deal about you, including users like myself on T'S.

I noticed you posted quite a few hours ago, how are you doing now? Was there something more specifically going on in that moment? Sending you hugs your way!! *hug*

butterfly123 nominated StrubbleS for this post in I am a girl with a girlfriend

StrubbleS wrote: »

Just lay your confusion off, don't think about it. I like spaghetti a lot, but I would not say I am a pasta guy. That would somehow exclude that I like rice too. They are both from the carbohydrate family, so maybe I should say I am a carb guy? But damn, those fine proteins. Love em. So tasty and good for your muscles.

I know that sexuality is more confusing than food, but in either way I does absolutely not matter that you have problems fitting yourself in a certain drawer. Just don't. One day you might have a boyfriend, or a trans person or have several partners. Whatever floats your boat as long as nobody gets hurt. In the meantime I am going to eat all the stuff I love and don't worry what kind of "food type"-guy I should name myself.

Happy voting!