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Feeling poorly

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
in Health & Wellbeing
I'm not feeling very well at all. I'm shaking so much my phone is like I have a vibrator in my hand. My legs and arms are so restless. I'm so agitated. My voices are starting to distress me again and telling me that I am being watched and not to let anyone in my room. I really dont know if to contact the crisis team but the last time I did they told me that I was wasting there resources because theres people out there that are actually killing themselves so thats putting me of and plus I dont think they would put me back in but they could say I need to go back into hospital and I dont want to. I dont know what to do 😢 I dont know if to take some more promethazine see if that works. I dont know if I am suffering more physical or mental if its physical the crisis team wont become involved again and my cpn told my support worker today that I'm not high enough risk atm to be with the home treatment team 😔

Comments

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Lost sense, hey!

    How are you feeling now? I Hope youre a bit more calmer and less shaky this morning. If you think youre in crisis and get to the point of thinking that maybe you need to ring crisis then maybe it is best that you do? Cause need to be pretty bad to even think about it:(. Youre not wasting their time and youre also worthy as other people who are ringing crisis teams ect.

    Also want to say that i think youre doing great. Working along side with your team and supoort workers ect. And know that in itself can be diffuilct to deal with. Hope you get to be as open as you can with them.

    Im not sure on what you mean about it being physical or what. Is there a way to find that out? It sounds mental to me but idk.

    Is there a way that you lesrn to rationalise the vioces? Idk i dont know much about vioce but hope you have a way to some how manage better. Did you take more promethazine?

    Sorry i am not helpful. But i really hope youre feeling that tiny bit better today. And am thinking of you - hoping youre okay.
    Take care
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Morning.

    I cant believe I was admitted to the first hospital 8 weeks ago today!

    I am a bit calmer and less shaky this morning yes. Idk I got through another night without calling the crisis team so thats what I've just gotta try to keep on doing I suppose. Evan though I might want to call them do I really need to Idk. I think I'll just wait for my cpn too or my support worker because I think that is only a matter of time. I am not feeling very well though so yeah things are bad. I'm seeking my cpn once a week atm so that has been increased I'm only meant to see her once every 3weeks but me and my support worker think I should be seeing someone everyday.

    Well the physical is the tremors in my hands and the restlessness.

    Yeah I took promethazine yesterday I think that shows I am in crisis.

    Thankyou!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Hey :)

    how was last night? have you spoken to your cpn about the restlessness? maybe they could help. you shouldn't feel bad about calling the crisis team, thats what they are there for. do you have a care plan in place for when things get tough? please please please only take your meds as they are prescribed, its not worth abusing them in the long run, trust me :heart: i hope today is a bit easier for you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    I cant remember lastnight😞 but I've woken up this morning already self harmed. Lucy and Stacey telling me that my support worker and cpn are all demons and they are watching me. I've got a tattoo at 12 I dont know if I feel safe going out there with the demons. I know I managed without calling the crisis team again lastnight, I dont think lastnight was too bad. Yes I told my cpn on Monday about the restlessness and she gave me promethazine. Yeah I have a care plan but I dont know whats on it, I cant remember. I take what I need and promethazine is just not enough for me. My support worker is coming to see me at 3pm they are telling me not to let her in
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    I'm sorry things are so tough :( try not to let this morning dictate your day though, you can always turn things around! did you manage to go for your tattoo? (if so what did you get?) Maybe try talking to your cpn a bit more, she may be able to up the promethazine or try something different. Also look into your care plan, sometimes it helps to have a go to when your feeling distressed. i think the most important thing i can say here is talk to people, try not to shut yourself away like they're telling you too. YOU are stronger than them. :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Yeah I went for my tattoo I took my hammer though incase the demons were going to attack me. I got a Butterfly at the back of my Rose and Lilly. My cpn is meant to be calling me today but the demons are telling me not to answer. I'm meant to be seeing my support worker at 3pm today but I've just text her and told her not to come. The demons are back in control right now
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Nice tattoo😊
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    I know it's hard to believe, but the demons don't control you, you have power over them.i love your tattoo! did you manage to speak to your cpn? they can help if you let them, do you have any prn you can take? :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    I dont have any power over them😔 thankyou. Nope my cpn hasent called me like my support worker said she would today. I text my support worker 'I wouldnt bother coming to see me Katie because the demons are back and telling me not to let anyone in my room or not to speak to anyone' she called me and I didnt answer it and thats all from her aswell. I thought she still might have come round though. A little dissapointing really😞 no I dont have any prn.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Lostsense wrote: »
    I dont have any power over them thankyou. Nope my cpn hasent called me like my support worker said she would today. I text my support worker 'I wouldnt bother coming to see me Katie because the demons are back and telling me not to let anyone in my room or not to speak to anyone' she called me and I didnt answer it and thats all from her aswell. I thought she still might have come round though. A little dissapointing really no I dont have any prn.

    Sorry just a little confused. But thats sounds a bit contradictive & just trying to understand. But Why are you disappointed she didnt come if the demons says thats a good thing & that no one should come?
    It sounds like you can see the difference between what the demons says and whats right which is good😊
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    It's the voices Shaunie. I remember you saying you dont hear voices so dont understand. The voices are contradictive. I'm hearing about 6 different voices right now. Me actually here wanted my SW to come but the voices dont. I hope that clarify things a little
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Oh:( cant imagine how stressful & frustating that must be. Thanks for clarify - does make sense. I Hope your cpn can help you😊
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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