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Have you applied advice about sex or relationships from your parents?

AoifeAoife Community Manager Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Hey everyone,

Research has found that a third of young people would prefer to get relationship information from the internet. However, these views differ to parents who would prefer to provide information about relationships to their children themselves.

Have you ever applied advice about sex or relationships from your parents in a relationship?

Look forward to hearing your thoughts!

- Aife
Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Owl Whisperer Posts: 1,020 Wise Owl
    No, never. Mandy and I already found out all the information we wanted about sex, lesbian sex, girl stuff (periods etc) and relationship advice - on the internet.

    As if it wasn't hard enough having to sit and listen to our uncomfortable looking parents giving us The Talk, the last thing we wanted was asking them for advice! Looking back, I think our parents were quite relieved.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 151 Helping Hand
    I've never asked for advice about sex or relationships from my parents, and I don't really intend to - our mindsets are very different. My Mum is quite conservative about relationships, and my parents aren't very well informed about any other sexuality than heterosexuality. I think that, if I had asked about these sorts of things when I was younger, more impressionable and less aware, I would have become quite closed-minded about sex and relationships, but now I feel like I am able to form my own opinion, based on more information. I still have the conservative and modest views that were ingrained into me as a child from my mother, but I also am aware of other possibilities (from the Internet, and the environment around me, i.e. friends) and, truthfully, I'm more comfortable with the latter.

    Not sure if this made much sense, but in short, I would personally never ask for advice from my parents, though I understand where most parents come from, wanting to inform their children, since I'd probably be the same if I were in their shoes. Still, I'd be very happy (if it's not already entirely preferable) for them to learn things from other places too, as well as from me. I don't want them to have a myopic view of sex or relationships, I'd just want them to be safe and happy.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    I dont think my parents ever gave me advice- so never really had the chance to apply them. But can understand. I get why a parent would want to to give information about sex and relationships to their child but can feel pretty awkward for the child and maybe prefer other ways to find out
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 90 Budding Regular
    Hi Aife,

    Mostly no, I come under the third who'd prefer to get advice from the internet and my parents tend to prefer to take a back seat with this kind of stuff and let me figure it out for myself, but there are a couple of things they've said along the way that have stuck with me.

    My dad always told me "I'm happy if you're happy" and as simple and obvious as this is I think sometimes we can forget to use it is as a the most basic measure of whether a relationship is right. I always check with myself now, am I happier being in this relationship than I was when I wasn't in it, and if the answer is no that's all I need to know. He also told me "you can never understand anyone else's relationship from the outside" which I think is very, very true and is something I've remembered when I start comparing my relationships to others.

    Similarly, my mum always told me "be kind to yourself", which again is something that you might think would be obvious but I'm a very self-critical person so I need to make sure that I take a step back and stop being so hard on myself sometimes!
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 976 Part of The Mix Family
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Newbie Posts: 8 Confirmed not a robot
    My Mom is a Physicians Assistant so she had the talk with me(16) and my younger sister who is (14) when we were like 9 going on 10 years old.Have I ever applied any of it like sex...... NO because I have yet to have sex. A relationship I would also have to say no because I really have not had a serious relationship yet. Now for feminine hygiene issues sure I have taken my moms advice with my period and tampon use and stuff like that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Personally no.

    The topic of Sexual advice and relationship advice in general has always fallen to my sister.

    I just feel more comfortable talking to her about it and getting her past experiences then talking to my mum about it (although she wouldn't mind) it's harder with parents to be honest. In the mind of dad I'm his little girl and mum never had intercourse other than the means of reproduction, She's asexual herself so the job was left to my oldest brother and older sister and i was my other older brothers helper in terms of relationships and sex advice x
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