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How to Make Friends and Keep Them
Former Member
Owl WhispererPosts: 1,020 Wise Owl
There are many reasons why many people struggle to make friends. Here are a few:
* Insecurity
[FONT=times\ new\ roman]*[/FONT] Selfishness
[FONT=times\ new\ roman]*[/FONT] Pride
[FONT=times\ new\ roman]*[/FONT] An Introvert Personality
[FONT=times\ new\ roman]*[/FONT] Fear of People
[FONT=times\ new\ roman]*[/FONT] Social Phobia
[FONT=times\ new\ roman]*[/FONT] Overwhelming and dominate personality
[FONT=times\ new\ roman]*[/FONT] Depression
But whatever the problem is, it needs to be addressed and conquered. You will never have fulfillment in life that you want unless you can achieve strong relationships.
Experiencing things with others is often more enjoyable than experiencing them alone. It is your relationships that add depth to your experiences, gives meaning to your actions, and provides hope for tomorrow.
Friendship is not a separate relationship of its own. But rather, it is the highest evolution of any particular relationship. When neighbors become friends, when employees become friends, when mates become friends, when children become friends, then you will have entered a whole new depth to your relationships.
But how do you make friends?
You Must Be Willing To Be Friendly.
This seems like a no-brainer, but, in fact, many people miss this essential point. Don't wait for someone to befriend you...go and befriend them. Who wants to hang around someone who is unfriendly? No one.
Being friendly means that you take an interest in someone else. Those of you who are waiting for the masses to discover your worthiness are going to be continually disappointed.
Take an interest in other people...their needs, their desires, their wants, their hopes and dreams. You'll find that they return the favour.
Here is a story:
Two very rich men lived in a small community. One kept to himself and was a penny pincher. He was never charitable, and never considerate of others. It was his money, he had made it, and no one was taking it from him. The other gave, was very generous, and considerate. No one coming to his house was turned away. Then a hurricane ripped through the town and succeeded in destroying both of the rich men's houses. They were completely ruined. Guess which one the townsfolk turned out to help? The friendly one, of course.
It is always difficult to make friends when you are focused on yourself. People are naturally repulsed by a selfish and self-centered person.
There is another group of people that needs to heed this advice: those of you who are reclusive, or an introvert, or the quiet type. These in themselves are not bad, but they will hinder your ability to make friends. When you don't get involved with other people's lives they will assume that you want to be left alone, and so they will leave you alone believing that is what you want. You, in turn, get upset because you think that people don't like you. Well, you are your own worst enemy. Get out there and be friendly! I started doing this in my village and to my happiness it's paying off.
Many people who are in this category find themselves in a quandary. They want friends, but they are too afraid to introduce themselves, to get involved, and then to make matters worse, others think that they want to be alone, and so leave them alone. It's a no win situation.
Be friendly. Here are some tips:
1. Try to meet someone else's needs. Do it in a fun and amusing way.
2. Don't demand, expect, or hint at repayment for a kind deed.
3. Be open. Don't be afraid to be hurt. I'd rather love and be hurt than to never love at all.
4. Don't dominate a situation that you aren't expected to be the leader. Just sit back and interact. You don't have to control the conversation or the activity, or have things done a certain way (even if yours is the better one). Just be a participant.
5. Laugh. Laugh at yourself. Poke fun at yourself. People feel at ease around others who don't take themselves too seriously.
6. Talk about ideas.
I hope this will be useful to you. It will take some effort, but it's worth trying to make friends.
Wishing you all the best,
~ Belle
* Insecurity
[FONT=times\ new\ roman]*[/FONT] Selfishness
[FONT=times\ new\ roman]*[/FONT] Pride
[FONT=times\ new\ roman]*[/FONT] An Introvert Personality
[FONT=times\ new\ roman]*[/FONT] Fear of People
[FONT=times\ new\ roman]*[/FONT] Social Phobia
[FONT=times\ new\ roman]*[/FONT] Overwhelming and dominate personality
[FONT=times\ new\ roman]*[/FONT] Depression
But whatever the problem is, it needs to be addressed and conquered. You will never have fulfillment in life that you want unless you can achieve strong relationships.
Experiencing things with others is often more enjoyable than experiencing them alone. It is your relationships that add depth to your experiences, gives meaning to your actions, and provides hope for tomorrow.
Friendship is not a separate relationship of its own. But rather, it is the highest evolution of any particular relationship. When neighbors become friends, when employees become friends, when mates become friends, when children become friends, then you will have entered a whole new depth to your relationships.
But how do you make friends?
You Must Be Willing To Be Friendly.
This seems like a no-brainer, but, in fact, many people miss this essential point. Don't wait for someone to befriend you...go and befriend them. Who wants to hang around someone who is unfriendly? No one.
Being friendly means that you take an interest in someone else. Those of you who are waiting for the masses to discover your worthiness are going to be continually disappointed.
Take an interest in other people...their needs, their desires, their wants, their hopes and dreams. You'll find that they return the favour.
Here is a story:
Two very rich men lived in a small community. One kept to himself and was a penny pincher. He was never charitable, and never considerate of others. It was his money, he had made it, and no one was taking it from him. The other gave, was very generous, and considerate. No one coming to his house was turned away. Then a hurricane ripped through the town and succeeded in destroying both of the rich men's houses. They were completely ruined. Guess which one the townsfolk turned out to help? The friendly one, of course.
It is always difficult to make friends when you are focused on yourself. People are naturally repulsed by a selfish and self-centered person.
There is another group of people that needs to heed this advice: those of you who are reclusive, or an introvert, or the quiet type. These in themselves are not bad, but they will hinder your ability to make friends. When you don't get involved with other people's lives they will assume that you want to be left alone, and so they will leave you alone believing that is what you want. You, in turn, get upset because you think that people don't like you. Well, you are your own worst enemy. Get out there and be friendly! I started doing this in my village and to my happiness it's paying off.
Many people who are in this category find themselves in a quandary. They want friends, but they are too afraid to introduce themselves, to get involved, and then to make matters worse, others think that they want to be alone, and so leave them alone. It's a no win situation.
Be friendly. Here are some tips:
1. Try to meet someone else's needs. Do it in a fun and amusing way.
2. Don't demand, expect, or hint at repayment for a kind deed.
3. Be open. Don't be afraid to be hurt. I'd rather love and be hurt than to never love at all.
4. Don't dominate a situation that you aren't expected to be the leader. Just sit back and interact. You don't have to control the conversation or the activity, or have things done a certain way (even if yours is the better one). Just be a participant.
5. Laugh. Laugh at yourself. Poke fun at yourself. People feel at ease around others who don't take themselves too seriously.
6. Talk about ideas.
I hope this will be useful to you. It will take some effort, but it's worth trying to make friends.
Wishing you all the best,
~ Belle
0
Comments
Hi @Mochan
I have very few friends, but a brilliant bunch of family and a loving sister just a year older than me. The fact is, though I'm in a relationship (with Princesa here), I'm quite content not feeling dire need to go and make friends. It's not because I'm unsociable, but it's rather nice when people come to me as has happened recently when I was in Barcelona last weekend. I find people wanting to make friends after I finish a concert or just before a concert begins.
It's nice of you to drop by. As for the article, it's been in my family's forum for about 10 years, and we only got our forum's data back last night, so I thought it would make a super new topic for us here at The Mix.
Wishing yoou all the best,
~ Belle