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A social phobia

ShaunieShaunie ๐ŸŒธPosts: 12,791 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
So this is a lil awkward & embarrassing problem๐Ÿ™ƒ. Also aware of how pathetic the problem sounds๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ™ƒ

Basically think i have paruresis/shy bladder syndome. (inability to pee in public places cause anxiety stops something physically ). Im unsure if this is something i am diagnosed with or what but was something that was noticed & talked about when i was in a psych ward cause felt uncomfortable there & i think is pretty obvious.

I think is a probelm that just seems to be getting worse the more i try to aviod,but for reason sometimes i feel it hardly affects me but i think generally is getting worse. & i read that it can affect someone in the same ways agoraphobia can affect as aviod going out in public completely. Though i have canceled things in fear would be affected. Started where i just physically was unable to wee in a public places even if needed & tried to - so now i just aviod even entering public toilets. Even at home & round my own family i now will not go if i know someone is round and could hear. &need complete privacy Cause God forbid anyone finding out i pee like everyone else. ๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ™ƒ& can aviod going for like 10hours. Which im not sure if that would damage me or what cause i try to dehydrate myself aswell & get sharp pains randomly.

Though i found out v recently that being drunk to a certain level (not paralytic level, lol)-completely takes away the anxiety. Which i suppose doesnt stop me from doing to those social events ah. But yeah sadly I cant be drunk all the time.๐Ÿ™ƒ

I think im pretty sure on that the trigger is (small ptw on upsetting content of abuse) - of a tramatic experience of sexual abuse cause have only been a problem since. And i clearly must have my mind set in that peeing is still humiliating &embarrassing. Even though i know it is not the same humilatating, dirty, degrading peeing acts, i was physically forced to do. And i think i crave a lot of control over my body back like with my ED. And i guess it triggers thoughts and shows of not being incontrol of my body again. Which i know sounds stupid. But i mean unless been through same sexual abuse i dont feel will understand how i feel &think sometimes i just want someone to truly understand.

Im not really sure what to do. I dont really want to end up affecting me the same way agoraphobia affects someone. I dont really have problem with admitting it is a problem which suppose is a good. But when ive searched on best ways to treat it & says graudal exposure therapy that sounds a lil weird & not really something would be comfortbale doing. Feel a bit of an odd ball and alone with the problem and very pathetic. But did read is common but still feel very messed up & alone. And makes me want to kill myself cause cant even cope with basic human everyday life
Felt a lil annoying to write this cause it does sound really small pathetic problem but isnt & hopefully sharing it will make me feel a lil bit heard and less alone at the least.
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Comments

  • GabrieleGabriele Newbie Posts: 2 Newbie
    Hello Shaunie! It's very good that you found the courage to open up and share this personal issue on our discussion boards. Not only was it a courageous thing to do, but it's also a first step towards gradually overcoming the problem. Therefore, what you're experiencing at the moment doesn't sound pathetic at all, because it seems like it's something which has been hindering and meddling in your life, and truly worrying you.

    Based on what you've described - that is, that the issue seems to have only occurred alongside a past traumatic experience, and seems to disappear during inhibition of anxiety brought upon by drinking. You might still want to go see a gynecologist just to check the odd chance of it being a medical issue, if only to be certain. Having said that, it most likely really isn't.

    There are all sorts of phobias out there, not just agoraphobia. The avoidance behaviour you've described may very well be a result of a phobia or shy bladder syndrome.You can read up more about them on our Phobias article. As you've mentioned, Gradual Exposure Therapy is one way of treating phobias. If you feel uncomfortable with this sort of treatment, it's good to first speak to a knowledgeable therapist about what what it might involve which can soothe your reluctance. On the other hand, they can also offer alternative treatment. No Panic is a charity which deals primarity with anxiety disorders such as phobias, so it would definitely be something you might like to check out. You can call them on 01952 680835.

    You mentioned that your past history of sexual abuse may be an underlying cause for this issue. Have you sought counselling for that? It may be likely that before treating what you're experiencing now, is a symptom of an overarching problem that perhaps should also be given attention to. Even though you might not see your sexual abuse as a rape, it's still a good idea to talk to Rape Crisis, if you've dealt with some form of sexual violence. Call them on their helpline 0808 802 9999 open 12 - 2.30pm and 7 - 9.30pm.

    Best wishes, [email protected]
  • ShaunieShaunie ๐ŸŒธ Posts: 12,791 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Thank you for listenin & replying @Gabriele
    I am currently seeking professional advice on only reporting abuse with the police and a independentsexual violence adviser. Im not sure counselling sort of help -would help much. Feel too ashamed & beyond help, spend too much time hating myself
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  • MochanMochan Posts: 65 The answer to life, the universe, and everything
    Hi Shaunie. Thank you for posting and share your experience. Your problem is not pathetic and you have taken a courageous step in sharing it here. It's important to remember that you aren't alone and that it's likely there are many others who've experienced this. It's great that you're taking steps to find a way to help yourself through this. Have you considered confiding in a friend?
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