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Not sure what to do??

Invisible_meInvisible_me MiniposterPosts: 138 The Mix Convert
Hello there,

This is my first post actually asking for advice, so please bear if it's not 'OK' but yeah... Please don't judge me though! Ifeel scared sharing this but I wanted some advice. I'm not over-exaggerating or 'sugar coating things'and is what it is...

Basically under a Physchiatrst and been so for quite a while, often she writes letters to GP debriefing her thoughts of the session, (we also get sent a copy) and the last one, including some prev. ones have stated "mental state is remarkable well" etc.. but I completely disagree with this, and have been struggling just may struggle to vocalise this when I am not so confortable. currently, difficulties facing and somewhat 'noticed by me and thinking about' is quite a lot it seems to me anyway some she already knows anyway.
- my mooods not so best and 1 effect again for sake of simpliscity is attendance at uni, (putting aside other effects that i'm not so willing to share yet)
- Anxiety levels are fluctautive and rather as before was over exaplined this it now of a silent killer and just feel something bad will happen and then i'll like check things etc.. become aware.
- lately, food issues have also changed in nature rather before more 'sensory' (yea I know sounds weird, long story) i'm just becoming more wary what I eat and 'Me' in general.
- I'm still coping well from the transition of moving from college where had lot of support to uni where I feel support is dodgy.

I know one way says to be honest, but I just feel like I shouldn't tell her, I mean the nature of appts make it harder to talk often lot of time constraints and been a v.long wait for this appt. i'm scared she's just going to disregard me especially after her comment.

At the moment this is all I can say, anyone can advise that would be helpful, I'm sorry if it's unclear writing in a bit of rush and with 'bouts of anxiety'. Everything just seems a mess!!

Invisible_me

Comments

  • MikeMike 🖥️🎧 LandaanPosts: 3,461 Community Manager
    Hey there @Invisible_me. :wave: Well done for posting. There's not really a right way or an 'OK' way to talk here - it's fine to just say what's on your mind.

    Just to check I've heard you correctly, is it that you feel your psychiatrist just isn't seeing or understanding what's really going on for you? Reading your post, it seems like your experiences and the way she's seeing things are two totally different pictures?

    As you rightly pointed out, having those time constraints and not being able to speak very regularly can make it really tough to fully open up. We all interpret things and communicate slightly differently as well, so it could be the case that she's picked up on some things she thought were signs that you were doing really well, when actually you might be struggling in other ways that she hasn't picked up on. If that makes sense?

    That said though, only you know how you feel and your feelings are completely valid. If she does have the wrong idea about how much you're struggling, she might even thank you for taking the time to explain things in more detail and correct her. People (even friends, colleagues etc.) tend to support us best when they have as much of the picture as possible, so being honest with her and telling her how you feel could help both of you. I'd be very surprised if she disregarded what you said. :)

    When are you seeing her next, by the way? Well done again for reaching out - let us know how you're getting on. *hug*
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.

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  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Sunny ScotlandPosts: 3,589 Community Veteran
    hey :wave:
    first of all well done for reaching out on here :)
    im sorry you disagree with your psychiatrist, often they dont get the whole picture of what is going on, just what is said in session, so it is important to try and be as honest as you can with them. maybe if you find it hard communicating through words you could write it down? or start a journal of your thoughts and feelings so they can understand more? it's important for them to get the whole picture so they know how to support you more *hug*:heart:
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • Invisible_meInvisible_me Miniposter Posts: 138 The Mix Convert
    Hey,

    Thanks to both for your replies.

    I had my Psychiatrist appt yesterday. I wrote things down for her saying things etc... but it still came out as the same thing. - That I am doing well, I think because I've not physically shut down and still doing things I should be (with a few distruptions) she says I am doing well. Like emotionally I feel 'rubbish' and just want to hide away.

    She's seeing me next in April/may (depedent when appt letter comes) but it's still far tooo long!- Not sure how I'll cope. I feel like I need something to keep me going.

    Invisible_me

  • RayofhopeRayofhope Posts: 152 Helping Hand
    Hi Invisible_me,

    Well done for writing things down which you wanted to say this can be a great way to remember and help to talk about things, i am sorry that things however have come out the same way. Do you think you would be able to talk to a doctor or GP if you don't feel you are able to cope as its too long to the next appointment? or be able to contact her to see if she can see you sooner?

    Make sure that you are looking after yourself and well done for writing what's happening on here. We are all here to help support you. You mentioned that you feel you need something to keep you going do you have any ideas what might help to keep you going? Something small which can help, I find going for a walk really helpful just to clear the mind.

    Rayofhope
    Life doesn’t require we be the best, only that we try our best
  • Invisible_meInvisible_me Miniposter Posts: 138 The Mix Convert
    Rayofhope wrote: »
    Hi Invisible_me,

    Well done for writing things down which you wanted to say this can be a great way to remember and help to talk about things, i am sorry that things however have come out the same way. Do you think you would be able to talk to a doctor or GP if you don't feel you are able to cope as its too long to the next appointment? or be able to contact her to see if she can see you sooner?

    Make sure that you are looking after yourself and well done for writing what's happening on here. We are all here to help support you. You mentioned that you feel you need something to keep you going do you have any ideas what might help to keep you going? Something small which can help, I find going for a walk really helpful just to clear the mind.

    Rayofhope

    Hi there,

    Thanks for reply.

    It wasn't great when things didn't turn out as it should have done.

    The next appointment is really long away and I'm not sure I can keep myself going?- Not sure what to do, I can't call up the Physchiatrist to see her sooner (because she won't) and I'm scared with the GP. Feel trapped!!

    Thanks!.. It's hard to find the desire to carry on, and I generally feel I need someone to talk to!- Feel quite alone!
    Walks are quite helpful, Yes.

    Invisible_me
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