Work and BPD

Former Member

Hello guys, I'm really struggling with work at the moment, and maybe it's my BPD and that I'm looking into far to much, or maybe I'm overly sensative. I don't know, but I'm really struggling with work, I work in the care industry, and my manager is either okay or not okay. And if she's had a bad day at home or has stuff going on, everyone will know. I've only been their 4 months, 3 carers have left and a laundry lady. Maybe that's a hint? I'm really struggling, I'm basically scared of my manager, and I don't want to let her down. But then, I don't ever want to let anyone down. I'm scared that when I'm on a day shift, she's gonna come in and find something or other wrong. I'm scared that when I'm on a day shift, that she's gonna yell at me all day, she's gonna point out my flaws in front of all the residents and the staff, it sounds superficial, but I feel as though I'm being bullied. I need help. I don't know what to do and I cant leave.

JustV

Hey @Aurora - good to see you posting.

This is a tough one. Your manager can make a massive impact on your experience of your job, and personally I can relate to what you're saying about feeling bullied by your boss (not from my time at The Mix, but a previous job!). Since coming out the other side of that situation and speaking to other staff members, one thing I learned was that everyone felt the same way about him, and that actually, we didn't need to put up with it.

With any job, but particularly when you work in an area like the care industry, your wellbeing should be the priority. There should be someone at work you could talk to about this - do you have a Human Resources department/team? Or maybe someone higher up you could speak to?

Ultimately, trust your gut. If you feel like your boss is bullying you, or if you feel crappy in the workplace for any reason at all (even if it does turn out to be your BPD), you have a right to say something and your employer is duty bound to hear you out and make sure you're being looked after. If your manager is making you feel this way then I'd argue that she's letting you down by now allowing you to do your job comfortably and to the best of your ability, not the other way round.

We have an article about being bullied in the workplace, too: http://www.themix.org.uk/work-and-study/working-life/bullying-at-work-1348.html

Former Member

Hey Aurora,
it sounds like a tricky situation, is there anyone above your manager you feel comfortable talking to about this?i know a lot of these fears i get aswell so it could be linked to BPD, but you say others have left so they may feel it too. it's important to talk to someone that can help though. when some colleagues and i were having problems we wrote a letter stating it all and went to HR and they really helped, maybe it's worth looking into?
hope things get sorted soon *hug*