Guy friend wants sex but..

Former Member

Hi I have been friends with a guy I used to work with who used to tell me how much he liked me and wanted to kiss me. Unfortunately he has a girlfriend of 5 years and a 3 year old child with her. I have blocked him on anything he tried to message me on because I couldn't help but feel bad for his gf and I didn't want to be the 'other girl'.
A year passed but he managed to get in contact on (not sure if I can say) whats app. Anyway, so he just went on about how i keep blocking him and he doesn't understand why. Even though I told him. He said I don't need to worry because he is now in an open relationship with his gf but that whatever he does she just doesn't want to know.
He also said that he slept with his ex over Christmas. I blocked him again because he kept bugging me to meet up but I don't think its right to sleep with another persons partner. I did really fancy him and stuff and I wonder if we should meet up because I have been lonely and wanted some manly attention but then I think no its best I keep away. What do you think?

Former Member

Hey @Stars2

From what you've described, it seems like you're a bit reluctant to date someone who's in an open relationship. I think you should consider why you're not keen - is it because you're not sure if he will stay committed to you for example? Or is it more because you've never been in an open relationship before?

Whatever the main reasons are, if you feel it's more about nervousness about a new kind of relationship I think it may be worth trying and see how a few dates go. If it's more to do with not feeling comfortable with the idea of him sleeping with other people at the same time he's with you, it might be pretty difficult to maintain a relationship.

In this kind of situation it's best to go with your gut feeling and what you feel ready to do at the moment. It's probably best to start slowly... Don't jump straight into sex if you're not feeling sure about it.

Hope this helps
Tash

Former Member

His wasting your time and only wants to sleep with you. Yes it is flattering to have a guy fancy you but the fact that he said his in an open relationship is another way to say he still has a girlfriend that his committed to but occasionally cheats. Who's to say she even knows.

His been trying tempt you, don't fall for it.

Have a lovely day/

Former Member

I thought that too Wonita christine. Its all just too much for me. I keep getting moody with people because they all seem needy but don't care about my feelings. I can snap at one text/message. I've had a bad relationship in the past which was abusive. And for some reason all I see is a bad person out to use me but you wouldn't think it because he seems so good natured

Former Member

Go with your instinct! You've been through a lot. If you see the signs of a dickhead let hiim go,
He shouldn't be allowed to contact you if he cant respect your decision

Former Member

That's what I should of said. If he can't see that it bugs me then why keep contacting me.
Thanks

Former Member

Hi @Stars2,

Sounds like he's very persistent! Whether you want to give him a chance or not is completely your decision, but please don't let his persistence bug you into seeing him. Remember you can block on WhatsApp too if you need to :d. You said you were feeling lonely and wanted some attention, do you think that's why you are now starting to consider it, when you wouldn't before? How do you feel about him now being in an open relationship?

- Lucy :rainbow:

Former Member

its totally up to you what you do as you are your own person but if I was in your shoes I wouldn't if you know he has a girlfriend and he's saying its a open relationship doesn't mean its true he could be saying it so you give him the attention he wants there's two sides to the story if you don't really care about all that and you don't get feelings like most girls straight away then do it but just be prepared and don't catch feelings it never ends good

Former Member

Hi Stars2

i totally agree with Wonita, he is bad news. Unless you are happy to be in a relationship that is not committed and monogamous.
You are worth so much more that being second best all the time. Loneliness can lead us to feeling desperate and making the wrong choices, I know from my bad experiences. Go with your gut instinct and if in doubt, don't, that is what I do, as doubt is a warning sign to not dive in. If you are sure about wanting this kind of "relationship" then go for it, but be careful that you are 100 percent sure it is what YOU want. Think about ways of meeting people that would interest you, for e.g. if you love dancing, or art, then you will have a connection with them. Soon your loneliness will ease.
Hope this has helped in some way. Do let us know how you feel
take care:rainbow2:;)

Former Member

Thanks for the replies. They have helped 😊.
Last night I had decided that I really dont want to have sex with this man. I said if he tries to message me again I will tell his partner about it. He is now blocked completely.
I just felt disgust with it all. Thinking he can use me for sex. I will not be used like that.

Rayofhope

Well done for making the decision which you wanted and not being pressured into anything. Hope things work out for you.