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Need to move out, desperately.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi everyone! Came here because I am so desperate for advice! This isn't really for me as much as it is for my boyfriend, we're both 18 and he's turning 19 in February. His mum is very emotionally abusive and the house he lives in is basically in disrepair, his bed is broken and has holes in and is stained yellow from how old it is and she refuses to pay for any of this despite him still being in education and receiving money for his care. She often refuses to buy him simple things like food, toilet roll and clothes and I have heard her say on multiple occasions that "her ciggerettes come before everything" . He suffers from ADD, depression and anxiety. With all the constant arguing and screaming going on between his mum and his brother (who's 24) it really is putting pressure on him as he is blamed for basically everything could go wrong and is even forced to clean up masses of mess that they make. What would be his best options for getting help and moving out so he could cut contact? We're really desperate to get him out so he can start to heal. This description is a very brief explanation of his situation, but this has occurred for years. Thanks!


  • AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 2,920 Boards Guru
    Hey @Redneckzelda

    I'm really sorry to hear about your boyfriend. It really does sound like such a difficult living situation that he's in right now. It's great to see you reaching out on here for more information and advice to help best support him.

    I just wanted to reassure you that there's some amazing support out there who can help your boyfriend move out. You both don't have to go through this alone. We have some great information on our website, there's an article all about moving out which you can find here.

    You or your boyfriend may like to reach out to Shelter to get some advice about his options, they are a UK charity dedicated to providing support and advice on all aspects of housing and homelessness, including help in emergencies. You can reach out to them here - http://www.shelter.org.uk/

    As your boyfriend is under the age of 19, he can also reach out to Childline. You can check out their website here (https://www.childline.org.uk/) or give them a call on 0800 1111 to speak with one of their trained advisers. They will do everything they can to give you the best possible advise.

    Do let us know how you get on, we're always here to talk to you about anything at all. I'm aware that you posted this a few days ago. How are things at the moment?

    It's also really important that you look after yourself too, it sounds like you're really worried about your boyfriend. How are you feeling about everything?

    All the best,

    - Aife
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
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