Sexual harassment and Ask for Angela

One-in-a-million

Hi guys I’m not sure if anyone has heard of ask Angela. A pub somewhere in England (not exactly sure where) has started to use a system for women who are is a bad situation relating to sexual harassment or assault in the pub. They go to the bar and ask for “Angela” this is basically a code word for help me!

this video explains all. https://youtu.be/8nzYu6M3hXE

This however is not used around where I live and I wondered what I can and cannot do when being sexually harassed particularly in pubs and clubs.

I have spoke before about being sexually harassed back in 2011 while at school and I didn’t know how to react to it.

This happens quite a bit when I go out clubbing. Sometimes it’s just comments eg “dam you looking sexy” I normally just ignore this. But sometimes it can be touching. When this happens I tend to do the following. Tell them nicely but fermly not to touch me eg “ hey don’t do that” quite often they apologies and leave me alone. I do this because quite a few guys are out to look for a bit of fun and sometimes get carried away. However some don’t take the hint this time I say not so plesently “I said don’t fu**ing touch me.” Again some back off and should they try a 3rd time I can get a bit hands on and have on occasion slapped or hit some of them.

There have been times where I haven’t reacted like the above and find myself feeling helpless. But I do wonder is my way a bit risky? I mean they could hit me back and become more violent which wouldn’t be good but also could I end up being in trouble for assault if they report the fact ive punched/slapped them even though they were harassing me.

I do feel having a system like ask For Angela would be very beneficial.

Former Member

Hey @One-in-a-million

I have heard something about this before but wasnt 100% sure what the name actually was. i think it is such a good idea and all clubs etc should know of it as i feel it could help loads of people. I dont think its used much where i am either unfortunately.

I would say its good you are standing up for yourself but then again it could be dangerous, especially with alcohol involved, that they get physical back so please be careful.

Esme x

Former Member

Most harrassment happens at the bar where there are is a big crowd ordering drinks. Everyone is so clammed together, the risk of being groped is high. Many of the better clubs have good security guys and women who have been briefed to look out for signs. Any trouble, go to them and they should sort the problem out right where the hassle is. I haven't heard of 'Ask Angela' though it looks good. I think the best option is never go alone, always take a friend and avoid crowding by the bar and wait til it thins out.

If any girl gets groped or whatever, a sudden knee jerk upwards to the guy's southern regions would be most effective, then get out of the area.

Rayofhope

Hi One in a Million,

This is a great thing to post about and start a discussion about as I am sure that it would be very relateable or people may be able to benefit from knowing about this.

The ask for Anglea idea which has been rolled out in some areas is a great way to be able to get yourself some help so you can get out of situations without altering the other person. It would be great if this was available in every area.

Sorry that you have experiences which have left you feeling uncomfortable. Would you have used the idea in past situations if it was available?

I think the way you are reacting is your form off self desfence and everyone reacts in a different way. When you react in this way are you in a group or are you alone?

Well done for talking about this.
Rayofhope

One-in-a-million

HI guys its nice to see what others think of this I really wish this was used more widely as I do feel I would have benefited from it. I do react differently from time to time. I remember the last time it happened it really bothered me. I suppose I felt I was in a lot more of a scary situation. This guy started randomly dancing with me (grabbed my hands and started dancing) a woman came and pushed him off me and told him to back off. He kept following me and I told him to go away and I did push him away. On this occasion it didn't feel as confident in standing up to him as he seemed more intimidating than the others. He seemed to be very much in the know of what he was doing where the others seemed to be drunken idiots.

​he started to grope me and despite pushing him off he didn't seem to get the message. He kept coming back and tried to get me to outside with him. At this point I really wanted to go however my friend didn't seem to take much notice what was going on and was acting completely out of character but he had taken (sniffed) poppers about an hour before. I was quite concerned as 1. I wasn't sure what they were at the time and 2 we were offered it by a stranger to which I pointed out could have had anything in it. So it was really hard to get out of the club but eventually this guy did leave me alone. But I was on alert the rest of the night and couldn't relax.

​My friend actually hadn't realised what was going on until I told him the next day. I do feel ask Angela would have helped quite a lot on that particular night as I did feel really uncomfortable.

I do feel safer in some bar than others so I do think tat does help but I think there should be a policy or procedure put in place for these reasons. Again nice to see what others think