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Technology and long distance relationships
Aoife
Community Manager Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
Hey everyone,
There's so much technology out there, like Skype, Facetime, Whatsapp which can connect us to anyone anywhere and at anytime.
Are you ever really in a long distance relationship when there's so much technology keeping you close together?
Look forward to hearing your thoughts.
- Aife
Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
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Comments
I'm so glad we're talking about LDRs again, one of my favourite topics
So I won't go into all the details again but I was in a fairly successful (sometimes great/sometimes not so great) LDR for about three years and I'm now in a different LDR which, so far, is going pretty smoothly. And I get this a lot from friends and family who aren't in LDRs that it's not really that difficult because we can still talk as much as we want via all the means of technology. And yes, that is true. It's also not the same.
Have you ever tried telling your friends that you think you'll skip on a night out because you've planned a Skype date with your partner? Or that you can't come down to dinner yet because you're halfway through a call? It isn't the same and it is surprisingly difficult finding times for two people (who I would say have busy but not exactly hectic schedules) to call. You can't be spontaneous in the same way, you can't arrange to see each other for just the night and, probably the biggest downside to technology, there is no physical contact.
Now obviously technology is fantastic for people in LDRs as it is a way to feel close to someone even when they're miles away and to keep updated on what's happening in their life so you don't feel quite so out of the loop. However, from my experience anyway, I have honestly found that the less you rely on technology in an LDR the better. Sure, text a bit, maybe send a couple of cheeky snapchats and call every once in a while but try not to overdo it. Which is honestly one of the things I felt I did wrong in my first LDR, we were messaging every spare second we got, we called basically every evening and I was missing out on seeing people and doing things because I felt as though I had to be talking to my other half otherwise, somehow the LDR might come collapsing. Which is ridiculous, and something I had never felt before - in the same relationship when it wasn't long distance.
Technology is great but it will never replace actually being with someone and trying to make it can become dangerously toxic to both your relationship and your life outside of the relationship. Sorry for being a downer, I promise I actually enjoy being in an LDR (not forever but I honestly don't mind it for now) and think that they can work really well just try not to feel like you constantly have to know exactly what your partner is doing and I promise if you moderate how often you call (let's say twice a week, or whatever works best for the two of you) then it always feels better to talk them again.
Lals :yippe:
I think technology is okay as a short term thing, like if you or your partner is going away for a couple of weeks, but trying maintain a relationship completely online is such a difficult thing to do. The physical side of a relationship is pretty important, I find even things like body language add so much to a relationship. When I meet with friends who I haven't seen face-to-face in months, I sometimes find it almost disorientating to suddenly be faced with all their emotions and facial expressions when our relationship has mostly become just words.
I think LDRs on the whole can work, as long as you make a conscious effort to try and see each in person as much as you can, or at least try some skype calls a few times a month.
Tash
Ah one of my fave topics to get into! :d
Technology has come on in leaps and bounds these days, there's so many ways you can keep in touch and (if you don't mind your monthly bill being a wee bit hefty
With all these different apps and options out there you defo have plenty to choose from for sure!
Although personally being someone who is in a long distance relationship and has met my partner two times so far. I do quite feel that despite all the options out there to make it easier, its never quite the same as being there in person
Technology these days will defo make it easier when you have to be a few weeks or a few months apart. People can defo make LDRs last even when they can only meet once a year or so but it is certainly hard.
It's also difficult as Lals said juggling them and family or friends.
It will get harder those days where you can't Skype because your busy or when you feel torn between making time for them and still interacting with family.
Despite the fact it will be hard I always urge people not to be discouraged because all relationships are hard in certain aspects, and as long as you love each other its no different to any relationship. Besides, life is potentially short so we need to take some chances and give it a good try :yes:
Happy Galloping! :rainbow2: