If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Sex with boyfriend for the first time
One-in-a-million
Posts: 606 Incredible Poster
So I’ve been spending some time with my boyfriend and I’m sort of thinking about sex. I don’t feel quite ready yet so haven’t done anything. But I was wondering that when I do eventually feel ready, how do I bring it up?
We have had a few conversations mainly messeges where we have sent a few sexual texts (no pictures) but I don’t really know how to bring the conversation up.
I mean I don’t think Just saying it bluntly “shall we have sex?” Would feel right. He has already said that he is ready when I am and that there is no rush. But still when I am ready how do I go about telling him.
Also and sorry if it sounds stupid or weird but I am worried that I wouldn’t be any good. I mean sex is more than penetration and what if I don’t know what to do...... does that even male sence?
Thanks guys
We have had a few conversations mainly messeges where we have sent a few sexual texts (no pictures) but I don’t really know how to bring the conversation up.
I mean I don’t think Just saying it bluntly “shall we have sex?” Would feel right. He has already said that he is ready when I am and that there is no rush. But still when I am ready how do I go about telling him.
Also and sorry if it sounds stupid or weird but I am worried that I wouldn’t be any good. I mean sex is more than penetration and what if I don’t know what to do...... does that even male sence?
Thanks guys
0
Comments
I do wonder sometimes if my sex drive is low for my age. It’s not very often I feel sexually arroused over things and when I do it’s normally for no reason at all. I do now and then but not very often. I know it’s something I shouldn’t worry about and compare as everyone is different but when I look at people my age I think my sex drive is a lot lower than theirs even when not in a sexual activity I know some people get turned on by porn which has never interested me at all. But same as male models while some girls/women can be like “wow can you imagine having a night with him!”
I’m just like “he’s good looking or sexy” but I don’t get any feelings from it.
I’ve had conversations when I was at college where people have talked about their best experience and their first. I would get funny looks when people descovered I was still a virgin. People telling me something was wrong. Or asked if I was A-sexual (to be honest I don’t really know)
People have suggested that I should go and have a 1 night stand (not going to happen lol)
I’ll have a look through the links you shared thanks Xx
Theres also nothing wrong with being a virgin. Some people seem to think you should loose your virginity as soon as possible, but I don't agree with that. I feel its best to wait till you are ready and ignore others.
We have a article about <How to talk to your partner about sex> It could be help you (it may not, but I feel its worth a read), we also have an article about <Myths about Virginity>, id like to quote a few things here, the first being "...…but you should just get it over and done with"
The second thing I would like to quote is "Your first time has to be special…"
What I'm trying to say is, its best to wait till you're ready and you shouldn't be pressured by your friends, and also not to worry about not having a high sex drive or being aroused by the same things others are.
I'm actually feeling a bit better. Ive had a look at the links you shared and they are quite helpful
Thank you