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Starting to live again??

Not been on here for a few months 
Good news, I have a job at Dominos and a christmas job at M&S, so got something to do and earning money which is good, I've also not harmed in 10 months so it's almost a year and am excited in two months I can finally say I've reached a year after it being on and off for 12 years :yes:, it's been hard and still is but just not got to think about it.
The thing is I thought not harming and getting a job would really help and it has to a certain extent but I still feel like shit a bit, I just can't seem to relax in the way of being around people and socialising, I still feel cut off from the world, separated, am not the fun person to be around that I use to be and I know we all change but am finding it hard to get out of my head if that makes any sense. I just want to be care free and fun.
So what am meaning is how do u start living again, how do u be somebody and not something

Good news, I have a job at Dominos and a christmas job at M&S, so got something to do and earning money which is good, I've also not harmed in 10 months so it's almost a year and am excited in two months I can finally say I've reached a year after it being on and off for 12 years :yes:, it's been hard and still is but just not got to think about it.
The thing is I thought not harming and getting a job would really help and it has to a certain extent but I still feel like shit a bit, I just can't seem to relax in the way of being around people and socialising, I still feel cut off from the world, separated, am not the fun person to be around that I use to be and I know we all change but am finding it hard to get out of my head if that makes any sense. I just want to be care free and fun.
So what am meaning is how do u start living again, how do u be somebody and not something
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Comments
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Sorry, no advice for you here, but I just wanted to say I'm really proud of you - 10 months is fantastic and the job too, huge well done!
Take care,
Eleanor
Just a heads up that I moved this thread from Anything Goes over to Health & Wellbeing where it fits a little better.
Serious props for getting yourself two jobs! An impressive feat in itself, even without the added challenge of overcoming your self-harm as well. 10 months without self-harming is hugely commendable too - massive well done.
Reading your posts, I wonder if it would be helpful to explore what you think might be making you feel 'cut off'? I think a lot of people would be able to relate to that feeling of being in a bit of a bubble, particularly those who work a lot, where you don't really have time to 'live' in other ways.
Of course, given your journey through recovery I imagine there may be some more personal factors at play there too. Sometimes when people recover from things, it can take a while for their 'new' self to really feel like them. I guess, in a way in takes time to internalise and adjust to the changes we make in our lives. I'm not sure if that's the case for you, but that process of self-(re)discovery can take some time.
Just throwing things out there.
Well done again, and keep us posted. *hug*