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Starting to live again??

DistractionDistraction NoobScotlandPosts: 288 The Mix Regular
Not been on here for a few months :/

Good news, I have a job at Dominos and a christmas job at M&S, so got something to do and earning money which is good, I've also not harmed in 10 months so it's almost a year and am excited in two months I can finally say I've reached a year after it being on and off for 12 years :yes:, it's been hard and still is but just not got to think about it.

The thing is I thought not harming and getting a job would really help and it has to a certain extent but I still feel like shit a bit, I just can't seem to relax in the way of being around people and socialising, I still feel cut off from the world, separated, am not the fun person to be around that I use to be and I know we all change but am finding it hard to get out of my head if that makes any sense. I just want to be care free and fun.

So what am meaning is how do u start living again, how do u be somebody and not something

Comments

  • independent_independent_ Resident Coffee Addict ScotlandPosts: 6,123 Master Poster
    Heya
    ,

    Sorry, no advice for you here, but I just wanted to say I'm really proud of you - 10 months is fantastic and the job too, huge well done!

    Take care,

    Eleanor
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • MikeMike 🖥️🎧 LandaanPosts: 3,329 Community Manager
    Hey Distraction, and welcome back! Great to see you. :rainbow2:

    Just a heads up that I moved this thread from Anything Goes over to Health & Wellbeing where it fits a little better.

    Serious props for getting yourself two jobs! An impressive feat in itself, even without the added challenge of overcoming your self-harm as well. 10 months without self-harming is hugely commendable too - massive well done. :)

    Reading your posts, I wonder if it would be helpful to explore what you think might be making you feel 'cut off'? I think a lot of people would be able to relate to that feeling of being in a bit of a bubble, particularly those who work a lot, where you don't really have time to 'live' in other ways.

    Of course, given your journey through recovery I imagine there may be some more personal factors at play there too. Sometimes when people recover from things, it can take a while for their 'new' self to really feel like them. I guess, in a way in takes time to internalise and adjust to the changes we make in our lives. I'm not sure if that's the case for you, but that process of self-(re)discovery can take some time.

    Just throwing things out there. :) Not sure if any of that resonates with you, or if you know why you might be having these feelings?

    Well done again, and keep us posted. *hug*
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Sunny ScotlandPosts: 3,589 Community Veteran
    Heey distraction! First of all congrats on the job and 10 months free! That's a massive accomplishment! I know what it's like to feel cut off, it's hard to ft things in around my job and often i want my days off to be in bed! But baby steps.. I've started to meet up with friends once a week, even if it's just for a coffee and a wee catchup, also seeing family helps me aswell. Is there anyone who knows about your problem that you can meet up with? I found it really helpful just to see someone who doesn't expect to much, then slowly you can start coming out your shell again, and hopefully back to the person you were :):heart:
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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