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Should you and your partner split everything 50/50?

AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 2,920 Boards Guru

Hey everyone,

Should you and your partner split everything 50/50 or is it better to adopt a more relaxed attitude that everything equals out in the end?

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!

- Aife
Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What do you mean 'in the end'? Does that imply a finished relationship?

    My partner and I share everything including a join account, though as individuals we have a bank account of our own. With exception of special personal belongings ie. collectables or vintage guitars, we share our possessions iincluding our homes. In the 7 years we have known each other of which the last two almost three have been living together, we rarely argue about anything, especially financies even during the times we were skint

    We enjoy our own space and 'Me Time' as do my sisters, and they are especially happy we two will be marrying in the spring when no prunup will be signed because our trust of each other is paramount.
  • FeatheredDreamsFeatheredDreams Posts: 91 Budding Regular
    I suppose it depends on the spending dynamics of the individuals as well as their collective spending, and on what that spending results in.

    Consider: my parents.

    My parents, firstly, my mom makes more than my dad (only by a few thousand per year, but it's still an important consideration in relationships). Secondly, they pay for different things. The house, electricity, water, gas(heat) and tv is under my dads name, the internet is under my moms name. From that disparity my mom also pays for most of everything else - food and random costs for all 3 of her kids (including me!) stuff, which includes the big spends- like car insurance and such. My mom also takes other one-off big spends like new cars for either herself or my dad (she paid around 95% of the cost for my dad's most recent van) as well as family holidays. The end result is...actually pretty balanced, my mom ends up with a bit more cash after the family is accounted for than my dad...but she also needs to have more leftover- she has to support a large extended family that my dad doesn't- again, balance.

    If they split money 50/50 they'd have to do all sorts of fussy stuff in order to be able to both contribute towards the house/elec/water/tv/food etc etc etc - which is inconvenient, both in time and patience wasted in paperwork and then having to both make payments to the same stuff (even if that's done by transferring money to another account) It's much more efficient with how it works right now: which is my dad spending most of his money instantly on big bills, with my mom forking out much smaller amounts more constantly for everything else.

    That said, this is an old couple with kids and a house, what i say works for them specifically because of these factors. For likely younger couples who don't have that to their names, i'd still say the same thing though. Perhaps a younger couple may even have a chance which my parents don't (it'd be pointless for my parents to change their spending organisation right now, considering they're both within 10 years of being able to claim their pensions) to even the burden of spending between each other.

    Disparities in income are a massive factor here- 50/50 is all well and good if a both sides of a couple can continbute 50 and 50, but if one makes 70% of their collective income, is a 50/50 split so fair? I personally believe that if one isn't willing to give - in this case a hypothetical 20% - a portion of their money to make incomes result even, then that partner (or relationships entirely) maybe isn't something they should pursue. Relationships are give and take, incomes will change over time and even if there's still a gap in the long run, I think if you spend money only for yourself then what's the point.

    And then is to consider what is the money going to? All spending or just the big spends? 50/50 on rent or food is reasonable, but is 50/50 on, say, a video game that only one partner will play still reasonable? I'm not really sure what my opinion is here, i'm personally happy to give money to even the things I think are useless if it would make a partner happy to have that thing.

    Finally, it is mathmatically impossible to be equal in the end if spending isn't averaging at 50/50 (average- meaning sometimes it may be like 90/10 but over time its roughly equal) - so i'm to assume equal in the end isn't just talking about money.
    If everything gets paid for, but contbutions average 70/30, would that still be a happy relationship? I suppose it depends on the individuals, it certainly has big potential to cause conflict, myself I wouldn't be discontent with giving the 70 cus i'd hope i love the person enough that their company alone is worth more than any money i could ever spend on anything.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah well, mathematically impossible or not, we've been living happily together for years, never argued about money so rock on Christmas and pass the breakfast marmalade.
  • PositiveAuraPositiveAura Posts: 150 Helping Hand
    Hey everyone :)

    This is a very interesting question and I really think it depends on the couple.

    I know some people who are very independent and still live alone even though they have been together for years...meaning that things are 100% their own.

    Others just share weekends and a drawer together so are at more of a 30/70.

    And my partner and I are in the 50/50 category. Well, I'd say 100% ours. We've been together 5 years now and have always been that way. If I'm completely honest, it may have something to do with us both being female, liking pretty much the same things and also having lived in a flat as well as a van together. :)

    Don't get me wrong, we like our 'me time' and have different interests. But as for possessions, we share everything. This may not seem healthy to some people but it works for us because we are not materialistic at all and also are pretty minimalist. So we don't actually have that many things and I think this really helps the situation. Though I do have to grab those black jeans before she does. ;)

    We are the same with money, we have a joint account and our own but we put it all in our big pot ready for our next adventure together.

    Well, anything we keep in our own tends to be our own tattoo fund.

    Again I think living and travelling in a van helped us work together with money and what we have became what we needed.

    But everyone is different, right? Like I said, it depends how independent and private you are.

    So that's my take on it. Sharing is caring and if you're in a 50/50 relationship that ended, not having a lot of possessions would really help. And I'm sure if you happened to part ways you could come up with a compromise for those things that you do share.

  • Lucy307Lucy307 Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    This is a great topic!

    For me, when I go out for meals etc, even with good friends I pay sometimes and they pay sometimes, I have quite a relaxed attitude - the 'everything equals out in the end' type. I will also treat my friends/family/partner to meals and drinks occasionally, I like to do that to show people I care & appreciate their time :blush:

    With bigger things like furniture etc for my house with my partner, I'm quite strict with 50/50 as I want things to be fair and don't want there to become any issues on who 'owns' what. He earns more than me but I save more than him... It works for us!
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
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