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My head cant be more off a mess than it is now :(

Butterfly23Butterfly23 Miniposter England Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
Hi, I know I only posted last night but it feels like this is the only place where I can talk openly about stuff. Today’s been one of the worst days Iv had for a while, it’s hard when the only things I can think about is death and ways to die or sh. I just don’t know how much longer I can actually carry on feeling like this everyday. I feel so disconnected from the world and everyone around me and i don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore. I don’t expect anyone to reply because I know I’m just stupid and pathetic but oh well.

Comments

  • DreaDrea The Mix Posts: 292 Budding Regular
    Hey Butterfly23,

    Don't feel stupid or pathetic because you are nor stupid nor pathetic for feeling this way! If it helps, a lot of people are going through similar things too, so you're definitely not alone. Regardless, you deserve to be happy just like anyone else! Do you think there is anything that could help you feel better? Perhaps watching a movie with someone who is close to you, or making your favourite food? It's completely ok to not be ok, and know that we are all here for you! It's great that you feel you can talk on here and that this is somewhere you feel safe to talk! If you do need anyone to talk to or think you may want advice from people who are experts in the field of mental health you can contact many places!

    A good place to visit is https://www.samaritans.org/!

    Hope you have a better day, and look forward to hearing from you soon!

    Drea:heart:
  • Butterfly23Butterfly23 Miniposter England Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    Drea wrote: »
    Hey Butterfly23,

    Don't feel stupid or pathetic because you are nor stupid nor pathetic for feeling this way! If it helps, a lot of people are going through similar things too, so you're definitely not alone. Regardless, you deserve to be happy just like anyone else! Do you think there is anything that could help you feel better? Perhaps watching a movie with someone who is close to you, or making your favourite food? It's completely ok to not be ok, and know that we are all here for you! It's great that you feel you can talk on here and that this is somewhere you feel safe to talk! If you do need anyone to talk to or think you may want advice from people who are experts in the field of mental health you can contact many places!

    A good place to visit is https://www.samaritans.org/!

    Hope you have a better day, and look forward to hearing from you soon!

    Drea:heart:

    Hi, nothing seems to make it better so I’m stuck for what to do. Last night I was thinking about ending everything so much but I don’t want to feel like that anymore, it’s tiring. I’m just a burden to my only friend that hasnt e left cause all the others have left me. Had a big argument with the other friend last night which just topped things off for me, I’m not worth being here and I never will be.
  • Butterfly23Butterfly23 Miniposter England Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    I am stupid and pathetic though, everyone must think that if I only have one friend and she’s gonna leave me eventually :( there seems to be nothing that I enjoy anymore too which makes things worse because it doesn’t feel like I can have a break from all this. I had an argument with my other friend and that made things bad last night because i know now that I’m negative around her and she doesn’t like it :( but I can’t help it. I am bottling it up loads so what does she expect me to do?
  • AifeAife LondonPosts: 2,331 Community Manager
    Hey Butterfly,

    I just wanted to check in and ask how you're feeling today?

    In your first post you mentioned that this is the only place where you feel you can talk openly about things. That's a really great step that you've found somewhere that you feel comfortable talking about things in.

    I'm sorry to hear about the argument that you had with your friends. Do you mind me asking what you had an argument about? How are things at the moment with them?

    I just wanted to say that you are worth being here, we're all here to support and listen to you whenever you need someone to talk to.

    Stay strong :)

    - Aife
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • Butterfly23Butterfly23 Miniposter England Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    @Aife we had a argument because she was saying stuff about me being negative all the time and apparently it’s stupid and annoying that I want to do certain bad things. Things with them arnt good. I’m still feeling bad but not as bad a yesterday but I’m annoyed at something that happened on the bus so
  • Butterfly23Butterfly23 Miniposter England Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    Sorry that it’s sent like 3 times, it kept saying that it couldn’t be sent so I kept trying it @Aife
  • MikeMike 🎧 LandaanPosts: 3,614 Community Manager
    Sorry that it’s sent like 3 times, it kept saying that it couldn’t be sent so I kept trying it @Aife

    Hey Butterfly - just a heads up that I deleted those duplicates. :)

    It's tough when people just don't quite 'get' it, isn't it? And really frustrating when that gap of understanding between you and them starts to cause arguments and generally make things difficult. :(

    Sometimes, it can help to arrange a time to have a proper chat about how you're feeling and what you're going through. When you make a point of finding time to do it calmly, it can help to avoid arguments and really listen to each other without emotions getting too high. :) Or even writing things down and giving it to them as a letter, or maybe a long text. I'm not sure if those are things you've tried before?

    How are you feeling at the mo?

    *hug*
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.

    Want to join the community champions? Drop @TheMix a message!
  • Butterfly23Butterfly23 Miniposter England Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    Hi @Mike

    I have tried to explain it but I just don’t think that they will every really understand as they arnt going through it. and thankyou for deleting the dupes. I’m feeling good today, I’m abit stressed about the following weeks because I have a really busy December at college but today I went to town with a friend that I haven’t saw for a while and it was fun.
  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 971 Part of The Mix Family
    Hey @Butterfly23 :wave:
    Just wanted to check in how you're doing? I understand you've been going through a difficult time which has been exentuated by arguments with your friend. I agree they may never fully understand what you're going through, but I echo @Mike in that it can make a difference to try and let them know, calmly, how you are feeling and why. You're only human and it's totally normal to go through ups and downs.

    What's going on at college at the moment, do you have exams etc yet? It's great you got out to town over the weekend, it's super important to keep enjoying your time off when college is so busy. Glad to hear you had a fun time :)

    - Lucy
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
  • Butterfly23Butterfly23 Miniposter England Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    Hi @Lucy307

    To be competely honest I’m doing bad, I have a really bad urge to self harm and I’m just so fed up of being like this and everything else. I have let them know calmly and they don’t seem to care. Have mock exams for health and social in December but that’s it.
  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 971 Part of The Mix Family
    Hey @Butterfly23

    Is there any particular reason you think you’re feeling bad tonight? Would reach through the screen and give you a hug if I could! Can you try and distract yourself in any way, are you watching a series you enjoy at the moment or into a book or anything like that?

    - Lucy
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
  • Butterfly23Butterfly23 Miniposter England Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    Just done with everything :( idk what to do anymore and no cause I want to hurt myself @Lucy307
  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 971 Part of The Mix Family
    I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this :( do you feel like you could talk to someone over the phone? If so the Mix helpline is 0808 808 4994 open till 11pm or Samaritans is 123 116 open 24/7 - both are free.

    Otherwise please keep talking here, we’re always here to listen. Thank you for being so brave and sharing. Sending you love.

    - Lucy
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
  • Butterfly23Butterfly23 Miniposter England Posts: 810 Part of The Mix Family
    @Lucy307

    Thanks, I just don’t think I wanna do this for much longer :(
  • DreaDrea The Mix Posts: 292 Budding Regular
    Hey Butterfly,

    it sounds like you're struggling a bit at the moment, but we promise you that it does eventually get better! You're a strong person and you have a lot to offer yet, so try not give up. We are all here for you to support you and guide you in the right direction! Hope your day gets better. How about watching a nice movie and giving yourself some me time to relax and enjoy the rest of your night?

    Look forward to hearing from you soon!

    Drea:heart:
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