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Why do ppl HATE it when I look up to them?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
Everyone I've ever looked up to rejected me simply bc I looked up to them. I like almost everybody, but I look up to very few. Of those few, they ALL rejected me for it. They accuse me of never leaving them alone. For instance, my supervisor used to like me and be nice to me...until recently when she realized I looked up to her. It started one day when she accused me of constantly calling her name 100 times and never leaving her alone. She bitched how overwhelming it feels to her. If I had done that, I woulda been aware. Since I wasn't aware, I never did it. She hasn't talked to me since.

However, I did manage to ask her if it's bad to look up to people. She said no. I asked her why she gets mad. She said bc I obsess over her and it's not healthy. When I brought up other people who look up to her, she said there's no comparison. They don't come in to see her on their days off. And they leave after their shift. Looking up to people means admiring their qualities, wanting to be like them, and wanting to be around them all the time.

This is why I
  1. Come in to the workplace on my days off just to see her. I only did that once or twice a week.
  2. Stay in the building after I clocked out for the day until she also gets off
And when she was talking with the district manager (her boss), I moved from my table to a table close to hers. That somehow pissed her off. I shoulda seen that coming. Everyone I looked up to rejected me. But isn't it natural to wanna be around someone who's nice to you and who you admired? If someone looked up to me, I'd be flattered. Indeed, she reacted very positively to other ppl who looked up to her, just not to me.

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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,522 Skive's The Limit
    Hey and welcome

    If im honest, as flattering as admiring someone is, i dont think it is necessary to do the things you have listed. Like i admire and look up to skinny celerabraites but never meet them loll. And possible to admire someone without being with them all the time

    Could feel suffocating to spend so much time with one person and have to take that into consideration and think about how they feel . Cause im not sure i would personally like it. Maybe giving them just that lil space will help.

    Hope i havent offended you but helped.

    Take care :)
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    LaineLaine Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Hiya!

    many people have personal space so they may feel suffocated, everyone is of course different but we all enjoy some time to ourselves and distance. looking up to people is great, its common and really healthy for us all to have at least one. I have too many to count myself. its perfectly fine to look up to people but you can do that without being near them all the time or seeing them on your days off. its really easy to get carried away we all have but maybe just give them some space and take they're feelings into consideration. :)

    All the best! :rainbow2:

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈

    "This is my family. I found it, all on my own.
    It's little, and Broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good." ~ Stitch

    "Lately, I've been struggling with all the simple things in my life" ~ Cian Ducrot

    "I don't know if it's because my heart hurts or I'm insecure" ~ Juice Wrld
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    BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
    Hey! :wave:

    I agree with the others on this one, it's good to have role models, but i'm important to think of how they feel aswell. It could be a bit overwhelming for them.Especially as a supervisor it's important to have boundaries with staff, they can't really be seen as having favourites. maybe just try taking a step back and things will improve :)
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She reacts very positively to other people who look up to her. It made me jealous. I tried to reason with her and it made her worse.

    Everyone I’ve ever looked up to fit into ALL of the following categories:
    1. They’re quite a bit older and more experienced, and
    2. They’re very accomplished in life, and most of all,
    3. They’re nice to me and patient when I don’t get it right away.
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