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Little rant (on the misunderstanding of eating disorders)
Siena
Inactive Posts: 15,759 Skive's The Limit
Anorexia is not a life style chioce and the fact peole still think eating disorders are a chioce. Really confuses me.
Anorexia has the Highest Mortality rate of any mental illness. From suicide or physical problems. 20% those diagnosed Die. So we really love the life style.
It isn't galmous. I take laxatives. I thought i was bulimic because I binge and purge. I didn't know that can be apart of anorexia. I HAD a massive phobia of sick. Like couldnt be near a place where someone was sick for atleast 2 days. Yet i find myself with that much guilt i make myself be sick.
I have not yet meet anyone who has thought - yeah i think i want to be anorexic. I want that illnesss. It's more then vainity. It's about control, obsession and addiction. It comes with massive amounts of self hate and self harm. Being awake at 2am secretly binging and making myself be sick while every one is a sleep. Is the lowest i feel and the lonliest. I'v come to terms with I'll probably be forever in relapse and recovery and wont be completely cured.
I've been told by nurses --- do you not care about how this is affecting your family, I dont see why you would hate yourself and life so much.
-Making me feel guilty for something i didnt choose or want myself. Ive had my problems minimised so much im sick of it. Some people have it harder. I get that. Some People are living in sereve poverty. I get that. I've lived without basic needs. I still feel as shit as i did then.
I've had my family round hospital bed to tell me how thoughtless i am. Countless of times. Talk about knocking someone down, when they are already down. Why blame me. Can you not blame the illness. Fuck me. All your doing is pushing me away to close myself up from being able to express myself and that just comes out in more self harm.
I'd rather not be thrown under the bus. Thanks.
Where does the stigma and labelling stop
That's all i wanted to say. Thanks for reading.
Anorexia has the Highest Mortality rate of any mental illness. From suicide or physical problems. 20% those diagnosed Die. So we really love the life style.
It isn't galmous. I take laxatives. I thought i was bulimic because I binge and purge. I didn't know that can be apart of anorexia. I HAD a massive phobia of sick. Like couldnt be near a place where someone was sick for atleast 2 days. Yet i find myself with that much guilt i make myself be sick.
I have not yet meet anyone who has thought - yeah i think i want to be anorexic. I want that illnesss. It's more then vainity. It's about control, obsession and addiction. It comes with massive amounts of self hate and self harm. Being awake at 2am secretly binging and making myself be sick while every one is a sleep. Is the lowest i feel and the lonliest. I'v come to terms with I'll probably be forever in relapse and recovery and wont be completely cured.
I've been told by nurses --- do you not care about how this is affecting your family, I dont see why you would hate yourself and life so much.
-Making me feel guilty for something i didnt choose or want myself. Ive had my problems minimised so much im sick of it. Some people have it harder. I get that. Some People are living in sereve poverty. I get that. I've lived without basic needs. I still feel as shit as i did then.
I've had my family round hospital bed to tell me how thoughtless i am. Countless of times. Talk about knocking someone down, when they are already down. Why blame me. Can you not blame the illness. Fuck me. All your doing is pushing me away to close myself up from being able to express myself and that just comes out in more self harm.
I'd rather not be thrown under the bus. Thanks.
Where does the stigma and labelling stop
That's all i wanted to say. Thanks for reading.
~Probably dead now
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