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Pregnant again! Not Planned!

Former MemberFormer Member NoobPosts: 265 The Mix Regular
in Sex & Relationships
So many of you may have seen my recent posts about abortion and what happened back in 2015 on my birthday.

​Anyway I found out a week ago that I am pregnant yet again. This was not planned and I don't even remember anything happening. The whole situation seems so strange because all I can remember is going out for a celebration and then my friend dropping me home because I had quite a bit to drink and then a few weeks later I just felt sick and missed my period and I thought I should get checked out ( I know the signs of pregnancy from the last 2 times). I was shocked when they told me that I was pregnant and ever since its made me so self conscious. Anyway I have my Brownie group later which I'm nervous about going to since hearing the news, I know at the moment its not noticeable but I'm still self conscious and I don't think its helped that the Brownie leader has made a comment about my weight in the past!

​Please contact me as dont know what to do as feel someone must have taken advantage of me!

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You should talk to a good friend that was with you that night or maybe someone you trust...
    Sorry i'm not much help but I really don't know what to say :(

    Hope you figure it out soon Xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Noob Posts: 265 The Mix Regular
    Hi Nenas. Thanks for the reply. Yeh I will do thanks for the advice. its ok I know its a difficult situation
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm here if you want to talk :)<3
  • AoifeAoife Community Manager Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
    Hey Laura,

    I'm really sorry to hear what you're going through. Feeling like someone's taken advantage of us can be really scary for many of us, especially when we've been drinking and not be able to give consent. There are support services out there who can help you through this, such as Rape Crisis who offer support and advice to victims of rape and sexual assault, no matter how long ago the attack was. They can provide you information and advice on what to do if you feel you've been taken advantaged of :)

    You mentioned that you remember your friend dropping you home. Are you able to talk to this friend about what might have happened that night?
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • Former MemberFormer Member Noob Posts: 265 The Mix Regular
    hi Aife. Thanks for the reply. Yeh its been hard and yeh I know someone took advantage of me, thanks for the link ill have a look into it. Yeh ive spoken to my friend about what happened that night and part of it makes me feel better but not at the same time. At the start of my forum I mentioned about the fact I had brownies on Friday evening and that I was really self conscous about going because I thought it would be noticeable and the fact that the brownie leader has mentioned about my weight before. On Friday however she didn't say anything thankfully although I was really self conscious. One of the Brownie helpers knew I was so self conscous because she knew about my situation anyway. Thanks

    Hi Nenas thanks for saying you are there if I need to chat, ive send you a PM so message me when you can x


    Thanks for the replies I have got so far, I hope to have more though x
  • AoifeAoife Community Manager Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
    Hey Laura,

    I just wanted to check in and ask how everything's going?

    All the best,

    - Aife
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • Former MemberFormer Member Noob Posts: 265 The Mix Regular
    Hey Aife. Thanks for the message. Unfortunately I'm not doing much better and it's been over 5 weeks now since it happened. I keep getting flashbacks of what happened every time I try and close my eyes to go to sleep. Anyway the worse thing that has happened to me is in the early hours of Saturday I ended up having a bad panic attack where all I remember is shaking and crying lots but my parents also said I was breathing really fast and they were so worried about me. I don't remember much about what happened on this occasion. Another thing is once I found out what happened back 3 weeks ago I made the decision to cut most of my hair off as I was angry of what happened and still now I regret doing it! I did it because I wanted to look like a boy in the hope nothing like this would happen again! Is it normal to feel the need to do something like that?!
    Need some support as still struggling! It's not getting any easier!
  • AoifeAoife Community Manager Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
    Hey Laura,

    I'm really sorry to hear how you've been feeling. What you've been through sounds so difficult and not easy for anyone to go through. We all cope in different ways, so it's okay to be feeling this way. It's really positive that you're reaching out to us and looking to get some support. There's some great support services out there who can help you through this. The NHS has some information on their website about what support is out there for someone who has experienced being taken advantaged of. I've included a bit of the information from their website below:
    Where you go for help will depend on what’s available in your area and what you want to do. For specialist medical attention and sexual violence support, whether you decide to have a forensic medical examination or not, your first point of call is a sexual assault referral centre (SARC).
    The following services will also provide treatment or support, and can refer you to another service if you need more specialist help (such as a SARC):
    • a doctor or practice nurse at your GP surgery
    • a voluntary organisation, such as Women’s Aid, Victim Support, The Survivors Trust or Survivors UK (for male victims of sexual assault)
    • the free, 24-hour National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247
    • the Rape Crisis national freephone helpline on 0808 802 9999 (12-2.30pm and 7-9.30pm every day of the year)
    • a hospital accident and emergency (A&E) department
    • a genitourinary medicine (GUM) or sexual health clinic
    • a contraceptive clinic
    • a young people’s service
    • NHS 111
    • the police, or dial 101
    • in an emergency, dial 999


    Do you feel you can reach out to any of these services that the NHS website have listed?

    You mentioned that you experienced a bad panic attack on Saturday morning. I'm really sorry to hear this happened, it sounds like there's a lot going on at the moment and things are becoming a bit overwhelming. Have you experienced panic attacks before? Panic attacks can be a scary experience, but there's some useful breathing exercises that can help some people. On The Mix website there's a step-by-step guide on what to do when you're having a panic attack, I hope this is helpful.

    I just wanted to say that you're not alone at all, we're all here for you so keep posting here whenever you like :)

    - Aife
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • Former MemberFormer Member Noob Posts: 265 The Mix Regular
    Hi Aife. Thanks for getting back to me. Yeh not feeling good about things at the moment and its been really tough. This pregnancy has been so hard because I never wanted this to happen the way it has. Its making it so hard to sleep recently because of the flashbacks I keep getting of how it all happened. Yeh I reached out for support as I'm struggling to do it on my own. Thanks for the information I will take a look. Yeh I had a bad panic attack on the early hours of Saturday morning because things were really getting to me, I'm not entirely sure what happened too be honest. I have had panic attacks on a few occasions which were mostly when I was at work and one before an interview but none of them have been as bad as what happened on Saturday morning (according to my parents) I will look at the information on panic attacks as well. Thanks for saying I'm not alone that means a lot and I will post things when I feel up to it. I still feel really bad for cutting off most of my hair in anger. Anyway I have a situation because I help out at Brownies on a Friday evening and I don't know whether I should go next week because my bump is starting to get noticeable and I don't want the Brownie leader to ask questions because I don't want to say how it happened or anything and plus I don't know if I'm going to keep the child so as much as possible I don't want many people to know for a while because if I do get rid of the child I don't want the sympathy I just want to get on with my life.
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix Posts: 292 The Mix Regular
    Hey Laura,

    Well done for posting on here as it must have taken a lot of courage! Everyone in the thread has offered some really good advice! We're all here fro you if you need us! Hope today is a better day!

    Drea:heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Hey Laura is it this one you are talking about in pm?
  • AoifeAoife Community Manager Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
    Hey Laura, I'm really sorry to hear how you've been feeling. It's a great step you've made to reach out for support, how is this going?

    You mentioned that you're finding it hard to sleep because of the flashbacks, there's some helpful advice on this expert chat article here about sleep that might be useful. In this article it mentions setting up a routine each night can help with sleep, do you have a set routine each night e.g going to bed at the same time and waking up at the same time each day?

    It sounds like you're feeling quite worried about going to Brownies on Friday. I hope it goes okay if you do decide to go, it's okay if you feel you don't want to talk to them about what's really going on. What do you feel you might say if someone asks you something?

    All the best,

    - Aife

    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • Former MemberFormer Member Noob Posts: 265 The Mix Regular
    Hi. Thanks for the reply. Yeh its been hard and yeh I need the support and some of the support I'm getting is good. Ill take a look at the advice on sleep as its hard because of the flashbacks I get and I will try setting up a routine, thanks for the advice. I am worried about Brownies next Friday cause I don't know whether I should go or not. I probably will go but wear baggy clothes so its not noticeable, I'm with the Brownies on Saturday as well (See my recent post) I defintly don't want to tell them whats going on for me though and if someone asks ill probably just say I'm fine.
  • AoifeAoife Community Manager Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
    Hey Laura that's reassuring to hear the support you're getting is good, we're all here for you too if there's anything you want to talk about :) I hope Brownies goes okay, let us know how you get on :)
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • Former MemberFormer Member Noob Posts: 265 The Mix Regular
    Hi Aife. Thanks for the reply. Yeh the support ive got has been good. Thanks means a lot. I will go to Brownies on Friday and I'm also with them on Saturday but I'm gonna wear baggy clothing and if they ask if I'm okay I'm just going to say yes cause I cant tell them whats going on at the moment especially with how it happened
  • One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Posts: 606 Incredible Poster
    Hi hun how did it go yesterday?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Noob Posts: 265 The Mix Regular
    Brownies wasn't on yesterday cause the leader was away. It's on next week and I'm also with Brownies on the Saturday.
  • Former MemberFormer Member The Mix Posts: 292 The Mix Regular
    Hay Laura,

    Hope you're doing well!

    Drea:heart:
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