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Loneliness

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
Hello.

I'm 19, I have almost no friends and pretty much everyone tries to avoid me, even strangers (lol), I would love to do many stuff rather than staying at home but... If almost everyone dodges me, then surely I'm gonna feel a bit hopeless :( what can I do?

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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    Hello and welcome

    You'd be surprised how many people can feel the same. And feel lonely. I'm not sure if i can be much help. So hopefully someone else will reply.

    I doubt people dodge you and maybe just seems like that ? And if you think they do then maybe find ways you could be more approachable? Like looking confident open and friendly. Without realising sometimes I may aviod speaking to people who look anxious because i don't wqnt to scare them more. I know that is harder then it sounds but I always got told just take it til you're confident and the more you start speaking to strangers the more easier it gets and see that its nothing to be that scared of. And instead of them approaching you, you could try and approach them? And start a conversation And try general chat?

    Have you thought about anyways you could make friends? Do you sturdy and go college or anywhere? Or any where you could go where you could socialise with people? Or finding a job? I dont really have friends from my job but I speak to a lot of strangers there and has got easier and first I would start stuttering. But dont now & helps me to be confident else where to make friends.

    You say you have "almost" no friends. Maybe with the few friends or one friend - you have you could go out with them more and then start socialisingwith their other friends. Or go on night clubs or where ever with them where you could make friends
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for your advice

    To be honest I'm a bit nervous when talking to people but I still try my best to change that and sometimes makes me feel.a bit hopeless

    I'm not in education right now and I had a job but had to leave for personal reasons, my friends are always busy. I just hope I can find something to do, even if is two days a week, better than staying at home doing nothing for sure, I do go outside some days to catch some fresh air but that's about it
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    You're welcome.

    It's hard to change being nervous but get less nervous as you get older. Hope you find some hope in that.

    Can always try volunterring part time of some sort . ? Lot Less stressful then a job
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm currently trying to change my lifestyle and I did start volunteering at a place already, and I did plan some stuff for the future as well to help myself, so at the moment the future looks a bit more bright than before for sure, and with all this in mind I hope my confidence starts to grow :)
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    KathleenKathleen Deactivated Posts: 49 Boards Initiate
    Hi LokoLaz,

    I'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling lonely. For some people, this can be a really hard emotion to overcome because it feels like you have no one to understand you or help you. Shaunie has made some amazing points already. For some people, reaching out to friends ans telling them how you feel can sometimes help. Telling someone how lonely you feel can encourage them to reach out to you more. Do you feel you have anyone who you can reach out to?

    I'm excited to hear that you have plans for volunteering, and other plans for the future. These could be great opportunities for meeting new people, or just putting yourself out there. Making small talk with people you meet while volunteering could be the beginning of a new friendship. How has the volunteering been going?

    Best of luck,
    -Kathleen
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hello Kathleen

    Thanks for the support I really appreciate it. If I'm honest most of the time I tell people how I feel, they don't understand me which is very frustrating and makes me even feel more alone and miserable some days but I still have hope that this will change one day :)

    The volunteering has been going okay but sometimes I feel like I'm still struggling to start a conversation or speak confidently with anyone really, at least I am trying my best, thank you so much for replying and I'm sorry for the late response, I tend to forget things with ease haha
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    DreaDrea Posts: 292 The Mix Regular
    Hey LokoLokaz,

    Hope everything is going okay and you're feeling better! So good that you've taken up volunteering! Have you tried doing any sports perhaps? That's a great way to meet people and also keep up a healthy lifestyle.

    Drea:heart:
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