I don't know how i'm feeling

louisa982

Hi.

Today a girl at my university was found dead. She was in all my lectures and i used to see her all the time. I didn't really know her apart from a passing smile around uni and she was also one of the 3 girls in my smaller exam room. She was so pretty and i've had a bit of a crush on her since the start of uni in October. I use to call her "Cute lecture girl" a couple of weeks ago she added me back on facebook and i was building up courage to message her and ask her to study together, then maybe grab some food.

As i said I didn't really know her, So why do i feel so sad and nauseous like i'm going to throw up?

Im so confused. I'm sorry. Not really sure what the point of this was but i needed to write it down.

louisa

One-in-a-million

Hi Louisa I'm so sorry to hear what has happened. It's heart braking when someone passes away you said you didn't know her very well but it does sound like you had a little to do with her and quite liked her.

Grief is a awkward thing it comes in many different ways. I would say this is something you are currently going through and it's only natural. The fact this was a shock makes it a little harder too. I remember wheny maths teacher took his own life a couple of years ago I was gutted. I wasn't close to him and hadn't seen him in a while as I had left school a few years before and just said hi if I saw him around. I never told anyone but I felt a sense of anger towards the world and that it was a cruel place to be.
My nan died in February this year and not a day has gone by where I don't miss her or think about her. While greaving for her I cried lots and lots. I still get a sting of pain now and I know it all part off the process
I want you to know all you're feelings are perfectly natural and understandable. Do you Feel there is anyone you could talk to like a mentor or a parent?

I'm sending big hugs to you st this difficult time

EmmaXx

Former Member

Maybe because of proximity, she went to your lectures, she was in the same examination room and you had feelings for her too, so she wasn't just anybody. These reactions are expected/normal because death is a big thing Louisa and it impacts everyone so it's okay to feel sad, it's okay to feel sick and it's okay to feel confused, shocked, detached and the list goes on.

When my aunt died, although we weren't close I found myself getting emotional and I even had a panic attack. I didn't understand why it had gotten to me so much but then I realised it was because I was very fond of her because she was such a nice person.

Is your Uni offering support to those affected by any chance?

I thought I'd pop by and reply because I don't often see you post and I wanted you to know that it's okay to let us know how you're feeling or tell us what's going on, we're here to help


V