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Self-Value/Emotions

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Health & Wellbeing
For the past year, especially the last few months , I have been becoming increasingly confused about my feelings. I cant explain most of my feelings but i know that I dont feel valued to people, as if I'm not being taken fully serious. I'm currently still at school and in early January my friends who I have know for 5 years decided to ridicule me and target me , with one of the reasons being that I appeared depressed. Also I haven't been able to do exercise or sport since August 2016 because I had an operation. I have added stress from upcoming exams and I dont really know how to improve my mental state, because most days I become annoyed or upset because I dont feel value around most people, there are only a couple of people who make me feel happy, apart from family, when I talk to them at school they make me feel as if they are listening to me and actually valuing my conversation. There's one girl, who I won't name, she is quite attractive but I am not attracted to her in a love/sexual sense, we have a good friendship and she is always willing to listen to me.Im just not sure if it would be right for me to talk to her outside of lessons, because she is more popular than me and I'm not sure if her friends would feel the same about me. But she is one of the only people at school who makes me happy.

If anyone can advise me on any points I made I would be very grateful.

Comments

  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,014 Supreme Poster
    Hiya, welcome to The Mix boards! I don't have a lot of advice for you, but I did just wanted to say that you do have value! You matter and you're not worthless!
    Hopefully someone will be able to give you some proper advice very soon!!
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,577 Part of The Furniture
    Hey Nathan, and welcome to the boards. :wave:

    I just want to echo what Elle said. Particularly when we're facing ridicule, as you said, or being told these things it's very easy to take it on board and begin to believe them. I think questioning self-worth is quite common around exams and when we're feeling pressured to start thinking about work, uni, relationships, etc. as well. We're judged in a lot of different ways and also trying to discover ourselves - that's a lot to be working through. But you do matter and you are valued. :yes:

    Regarding the girl you mention - if you're getting on well and you value each others' company, then there probably isn't a 'right' or 'wrong' way to go about your relationship. If you guys are genuinely good friends, then there's a good chance she won't have any issue with you talking to her outside of lessons. Equally if your friendship seems to strictly be a classroom thing, then it's okay to try and explore that further and chat to her outside of school too (if that's what you want).

    I guess there might be a wider thing about giving yourself permission to relax into your relationships with people a little bit, without worrying too much about what the rights and wrongs are or what you 'should' be doing; shaking off that pressure to conform to what's expected of you, and instead just letting yourself be who you want to be. I guess it's part of the self-discovery I mentioned too, which does take time.

    This reply is a complete waffle/cliché fest, but I hope that helps in some way! Haha. You mentioned that you appear depressed - how are you feeling more broadly at the moment? Let us know how you get on, and if you'd like some more practical advice in the way of mental health support, that's something the community can help with. :)
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  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Hello Nathan and welcome to the boards!
    I domt have much advise and agree with Mike but i think the feeling of not being taken seriously and not being valued is more powerful then people think and seems. Do what you feel most comfortable and feels most right with you. But are very valued and we will listen to you on here!
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you so much :) In terms of feeling depressed, I'm not really sure how to describe it, some days I can be absolutely fine and very easygoing but then the next day I can't escape negative thoughts and I have no real urgency. I started keeping a sort of journal for my emotions and things that had major impact on my feelings day to day. It seems to follow a pattern, where certain days or times will be positive and other times negative. I have ways to get rid of the negative thoughts but they are all temporary and eventually they just come back to me, I'm never quite sure if what I feel is just natural to all humans or if it is an actual issue because I cant explain it very well.
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