I need help

Former Member

I feel literally mad. Things that in the past (which isn't really that long, just one week ago) would sound crazy to me now are starting to "conflict" with my psyche, like wanting to integrate it.
I make 15 years in a month and I don't know what to do with my life. I walk past everyone, I just "laugh" internally all the time and the ideas of becoming and autonomous individual in the future are all gone. The worst, I seem to "like" being this mad, of course I know that it's very dangerous, but it's like it gives me adrenaline or something.
When looking to the mirror, I no longer recognize myself, my own reflexion feels like a different, disassociate person, someone I immediately want to punch or harm.

Please, someone help me. I fear I might become a parasite.

Drea

Hi Carlos,
Firstly welcome to the boards! You are not the only one to have these feelings and plenty of people suffer with them too. Well done for posting about it on the boards here, this is the first step to getting help and it is good that you have acknowledged that you need help! Do you know maybe what triggered these thoughts? You wrote that you've had these thoughts for a week, has something changed in the past month or so to maybe trigger these thoughts?

If the feelings persist and if this maybe isn't just a 'phase', it would probably be good to visit a doctor because they are experts and they can help refer you to someone who can help you and talk to you to understand! If you're not comfortable talking to someone face to face then you can always try to contact online help. Here are some links:
- http://www.samaritans.org/
- http://www.sane.org.uk/?gclid=Cj0KEQjwuZvIBRD-8Z6B2M2Sy68BEiQAtjYS3DMkbWqHCyNhdXW1dSG_DUDL7cQUgB0YT21tYfJ6ImcaAn_08P8HAQ

Hope you have a better day today and speak soon!
Drea