Can't carry on

Former Member

My names Alicia, I'm 14 and yea parents were divorced when I was 2, and it's only hit me in the recent years, I've been with my boyfriend 1 year and 7 months since I was 13 and he was 15 and due to my parents divorcing I find it hard to trust people, he's been talking to other girls loads and I feel although I don't matter, I also have a borderline personality disorder which contributes to this feeling, we broke up a few times and have had troubles with cheating, last night we had a argument and he left me, I'm so lost he's my world and it's killing me, for the past few months however I've been feeling like I wanna die and that everyone would be happier if I did, [content removed] I miss my boyfriend always and this is killing me, when he talks to the girls I feel so empty and worthless and I try to tell him but he doesn't do anything about it. Now I feel like I have nothing left to live for, I need help please

mica

Hey Alicia,

It sounds like you’re going through a really difficult time at the moment, but it was really brave of you to open up about everything you’re going through. It can definitely be hard to cope with divorce no matter how long ago it happened so it totally makes sense you might be having some trust issues. This article on building trust in relationships might be worth a read. It addresses cheating and how to build trust.

While I can’t speak for your boyfriend, it is possible that he needs some time to cool down and think after your fight. Once he has done this, perhaps you can try to sit down and have a conversation about how you want the relationship to continue (talk about specific things like staying committed to one another (if that’s important to you), trusting each other, and how you feel worthless/suicidal). If you’re able to (and want to) have this conversation with him, some people find it helpful to write a letter or list about what you want to say in advance.

In terms of your mental health, if you ever feel unsafe, you can get in touch with Childline and/or Papyrus for suicide crisis support. Both of these services have people you can talk to in order to get through intense feelings.

Like I said, it’s really great of you to reach out for help to this community. If you’d like to, please feel free to keep posting about how everything goes/ how you’re doing.

How are you getting on today? Wishing you the best!

- Mica