Death

Former Member

So today I lost another friend through losing her fight to cancer which she battled for 6 years. I'm heartbroken. Don't know what to do because part of me feels that maybe I should continue going to work as a distraction but then other part of me feels maybe I should take time off. Need some advice and support

Former Member

Hey laura,

Im so sorry to hear about your loss. Cancer is a truly terrible disease that takes too many.

I don't have an answer for you about whether you should or shouldn't take work off, but perhaps you can judge what would be best by trying to go into work and seeing how you feel. it's a hard decision to make, but one I believe I cannot make for you. Know that whatever you decide, you will have the support of the community! Please feel free to keep posting if it helps.

Wishing you the best,
- Mica

Former Member

Different things are better for different people. Personally, I find that keeping busy is better. If I don't do much, the bad feelings are stronger.

If things are stressful for you at work, you'll find that difficult to deal with - so perhaps take time off and keep busy with other things?

What have you done on previous occasions on which you suffered bereavement? What worked best for you?

Jellyelephant

Hey laura,

I just wanted to say I am sorry to hear of your loss, I hope you are doing okay as you can be. It's a personal decision whether to work or not, some people prefer the distraction whereas others need the headspace to process things. Grief is an individual process that we all experience differently, so there is no right or wrong answer. It's about what's best for you at the time.

Thinking of you

Former Member

Hi Mica. Thanks for the reply. Thanks and yeah cancer is truly horrible. My cousin is currently going through chemo. I did go to work today but it was hard and I did get emotional at one point during a break but the supervisor I spoke to was very understanding and said I was brave to be at work! She said she would always be there for me if I needed anything.

Former Member

Hi Robert thanks for the reply. Yeah I guess so. Yeh I did go to work today and try to control myself but as I said on the other reply I did get emotional but thankfully the supervisor was understanding. I think it didn't help that they moved me onto a department which I didn't like so my anxiety got sent off!!! Today was tough but ill see how I get on tomorrow and Friday then see about taking time off if things still aren't good. I have tried to keep busy but it hasn't always worked.

Former Member

Hi Jellyelephant. Thanks for the reply. Thanks, its hard right now. I did go to work but it was hard and did get to me at times. Just wish things would get easier!

Former Member

Hi Aidan. Thanks for the reply. Yeh grief is different for everyone. Yeh I went to work but it was so difficult but at least the supervisor was understanding. I don't see how I was brave?! Thanks that means a lot. Yeh ill message you when I feel better about things. always here though.

Former Member

Hi all. x as an update on how I'm feeling. I'm still absoultley heartbroken. anyway on the day she passed away in the post I got a ring sent to me from her with a note saying "Stay strong. I'm always looking down on you!" Its as if it was a sign that she knew that she was at the end of life when she sent it and for it to come on the day she sadly lost her life was strange. It was just so unexpected. I have worn it ever since although I'm worried about what to say if someone asks where I got it from because I know ill break down in tears if I do tell them.