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Female friend's breakup
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
A friend of mine was until recently in a relationship which she proudly proclaimed, every day throughout the duration of it, was perfect. She said that her boyfriend was ideal for her in every way, her dream lover - and that they were head over heels in love with each other. She said that they spent hours together every day. She said that she'll spend the rest of her life with him and that she couldn't go a day without him. She said that they were planning their long-term future together, including buying a house, marrying and having children. She boasted about all the things he gave her and all the places that he took her to. She marked each time it had been a week, fortnight, month, 2 months etc. together, saying nonsensical things like: "It's our monthiversary" and "it's our two-month anniversary". All of this seemed entirely genuine over-enthusiasm.
I asked mutual friends and acquaintances if she gleefully boasted about him to her as well, and they all said that she did.
Without any prior indication, they split up. She casually told a few of us including me, of that, by casually and briefly dropping it into a conversation about something else. Only the previous day, she'd said that they would be blissfully happy together forever. I expected her to be distraught, but she's remained every bit as overly-happy as she was when she was with him. I was concerned that she was hiding how upset she was, so, on another occasion whilst no-one else was in the room, I asked her how she was coping. She asked me: "coping with what? I don't have any significant problems to cope with". I then said to her that she must be upset about her breakup. She said: "oh, that - no, it was never a serious relationship - it was just a little casual thing. We were never really into each other - we were just having a bit of fun". I told her that she seemed to be in love with him, to which she said: "I don't know where you got that from!".
I asked mutual friends who've known her longer than I have, who said that she's fine and isn't hiding anything.
She's now gleefully boasting about various other things and people - which likewise seems genuine despite seeming over-the-top.
I realise that none of you know her, but can you understand what she's been thinking and the contradictions in what she said? Have any of you known anyone who has behaved likewise? It's impossible for everything she said to have been true - so what do you think she is/was lying about, and why?
I asked mutual friends and acquaintances if she gleefully boasted about him to her as well, and they all said that she did.
Without any prior indication, they split up. She casually told a few of us including me, of that, by casually and briefly dropping it into a conversation about something else. Only the previous day, she'd said that they would be blissfully happy together forever. I expected her to be distraught, but she's remained every bit as overly-happy as she was when she was with him. I was concerned that she was hiding how upset she was, so, on another occasion whilst no-one else was in the room, I asked her how she was coping. She asked me: "coping with what? I don't have any significant problems to cope with". I then said to her that she must be upset about her breakup. She said: "oh, that - no, it was never a serious relationship - it was just a little casual thing. We were never really into each other - we were just having a bit of fun". I told her that she seemed to be in love with him, to which she said: "I don't know where you got that from!".
I asked mutual friends who've known her longer than I have, who said that she's fine and isn't hiding anything.
She's now gleefully boasting about various other things and people - which likewise seems genuine despite seeming over-the-top.
I realise that none of you know her, but can you understand what she's been thinking and the contradictions in what she said? Have any of you known anyone who has behaved likewise? It's impossible for everything she said to have been true - so what do you think she is/was lying about, and why?
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