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It's just too hard...and an apology

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I'm really sorry to hear that things are tough at the moment, like Horsemad said it's okay to feel these emotions and sometimes they do build up we all have these moments. Learning to control them can be difficult and it will take time, it's really great that you're opening up about how you're feeling.
You mentioned that you're feeling angry with your friends for not supporting you. You've done so well to open up about everything in this post and how you're feeling, how do you feel approaching one of your closest friends to tell them about some of the things you've mentioned in your post such as how you're feeling isolated? There's a great article on rethink.org that might be useful to send to your friends - it talks about how to support a friend by encouraging them to talk about how they are feeling and listening to them in a non-judgmental, non-critical way.
We're all here for you evie_rose, stay strong
Why did he cancell for disccusing about it ?