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it's all too much ( Possible Trigger)

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Seems like you're going through a pretty rough time, im sorry to hear
Is it possible for you to self refer yourself to the uni counsellor (if you feel it would help?), or an outside one.
Uni is a stressful time, I know this first hand. Why is it you need to hide your feelings when you leave the room, do people not understand or do you not want them to know how you're feeling?
Sorry if that question is to personal, trying to understand the situation better.
I'm also sorry to hear you would loose friends over it, it must be hard to handle.