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Bad Past- Reminded every birthday
Former Member
NoobPosts: 265 The Mix Regular
So my childhood wasn't great and every year at this time it gets reminded of the most as it gets closer to my birthday which is on the 18th March. (I'm 20 in 3 days!!!)
So with my childhood I was taken away from my birth parents at a young age due to them being unable to look after me and I was put into care. At 2 I was then adopted out and lived with my adoptive parents ever since. Every time it gets to my birthday (also sometimes Christmas) I think about my situation and whether I want to see my birth parents again and give them a second chance or if they deserve it or not after what they put me through.
Is it normal to feel like this? Want as many replies as possible and if anyone has any experiences of their own linked to this would be nice to hear them!
So with my childhood I was taken away from my birth parents at a young age due to them being unable to look after me and I was put into care. At 2 I was then adopted out and lived with my adoptive parents ever since. Every time it gets to my birthday (also sometimes Christmas) I think about my situation and whether I want to see my birth parents again and give them a second chance or if they deserve it or not after what they put me through.
Is it normal to feel like this? Want as many replies as possible and if anyone has any experiences of their own linked to this would be nice to hear them!
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Comments
Hi Robert thanks for the reply. Yeah I know its my choice and its hard to know what to do for the best right now. I haven't spoken to my adoptive family because I don't want them to feel they haven't done a good job of bringing me up, they have been amazing parents. I just feel that they wont understand that I'm feeling like this about my birth parents with what they put me through. I do get on with my adoptive parents its just I find it hard to mention about my birth parents because I don't want them to feel bad. I had a good upbringing thanks. I feel I can talk to my auntie more than my adoptive parents too be honest if that makes sense.
If you're still unsure, you could contact adoptees who've been in your situation and ask them how things went for them.
You didn't have any say about the circumstances of your early life or the decision that you be adopted, so you shouldn't feel bad about it. Your bio parents' inadequacy isn't your fault.
Many adoptees feel rejected. However, most have a significantly better life with their adoptive family than they'd have had if they'd stayed with their bio family or been raised in a children's home. Be pleased that you were taken in by a good couple who gave you a decent life.
Hi Ella thanks for the reply. Thanks for the advice and I can see where u are coming from, thanks a lot
Have you had no contact with your bio family since you were two?
Have you talked about this issue with any of your friends?
There must be organisations, support groups etc. for adoptees. They should be able to help you.
Robert thanks for the reply. thanks for the advice and what organisations can help?
Have you asked your adoptive parents if they have any way for you to get in contact with your biological parents? Maybe this would be good for the way you're feeling, but also, it could make you feel worse, depends if you really want to see them? So you get on well with your adoptive parents?
Alice xx
Hi Robert. Ill try that but I think my parents do keep in contact with my biological parents so if I have the confidence to sepak to them it might give me answers quicker
Is it just this issue that you feel uncomfortable talking to your adoptive parents about - or is it difficult for you to talk to them about any deep, meaningful subject? Are they cold secretive people or warm open people?