Do I like him?

Former Member

This isn't necessarily an issue but because I struggle connecting with my feelings I'd like your input.
So I've known this guy for about 3 years. When we were first introduced a lot of our mutual friends talked about us being together but we weren't bothered about it.

Recently we've got pretty close and we've talked about things that (for me anyway) we wouldn't tell other people. I think about him a lot and I've started dreaming about him too ( normally he tells me he loves me or he's proud of me).

My question is, do I actually like him? Or is it an attachment because he knows about my mental health problems.

Former Member

After 3 years, you still don't know how you feel about him?! Do you feel differently about him on different days?

When you say that you've got close, do you mean only emotionally - or physically as well? Have you ever kissed each other - or anything like that?

What happens during the dreams?

Talking to each other about personal things means that you trust each other, but that's different to fancying or loving each other.

Former Member

We were largely indifferent about each other for the first couple of years, like friends of friends thing.
Nothing physical has happened between us but we sort of joke about stuff like that. I'm pretty shy at the best of times and I'm good about hiding how I feel.
He's also supposedly seeing someone else which would normally put me off a guy. However: a) it's long distance and they've both said they wouldn't move for the other person
he's only ever referred to her as his "lady friend" when he talks to me about her.

The dreams started as just sex dreams but recently we went swimming in one and he was proud I jumped off a high board or something? The other he came to my work and told me he loved me

Former Member

Is he a great deal older than you? I've never heard anyone under 50 use the term 'lady friend'.

Has he ever actually told you he loves you - rather than you dreaming he said it to you?

Former Member

oh I know, he's not that much older but he acts it.
And no he hasn't and he probably doesn't like me in that way anyway, if I do like him I'm probably taking things he says and does in a different way than he means them

Former Member

Have you ever given him any hints about how you feel about him?

Former Member

I try hard not to (and like I said I'm good) but recently a friend of ours made a comment about how I was too busy "dreaming of him" which I've never mentioned and joked about how the guy and I always go on holiday at the same time (again a coincidence) which is what made me question everything in the first place

Former Member

If you don't know how you feel about him, there's no point saying anything to him about it.

I'm puzzled as to why it took you so long to feel anything for him, and now that you do, you're unsure what you feel.