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Lying awake

LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
in Health & Wellbeing
I really need to get to sleep now ASAP as I need to be left the house at 10:15 for my first session of face2face counselling but I am lying awake with the thought right now that I am scared of walking out the house in the morning and being out for so long that I might walk to the train tracks or somewhere dangerous.

I have taken my sleepy meds so hopefully I will forcefully full asleep very soon so (if) I get any replies tonight sorry if I don't reply. I just wanted to write that out I suppose incase I do.

And that's why I don't go out far or much only to the shop or swimming which are both are on the same road as I live on.

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    One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Posts: 599 Incredible Poster
    Hi Lostsense it's normal to be anxious about tomorrow. I remember getting to the centre walking in, walking out, walking in and back out for a few minutes because I was scared.

    I know you're saying you're scared about leaving the house. Is anyone coming with you? Prehaps they could go to the counselling with you but wait outside the room?

    Hope it all goes well tomorrow will be thinking of you tomorrow :)
    I'm at work tomorrow bit feel free to pm afterwards if you need/want a chat.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey LostSense,
    It's totally normal to be worried about counselling! But most of the time it's easier than it seems. Normally first appointments are more of a get to know you session, so you'll probably do some paper work and be asked a few questions.
    If you're feeling at risk please try and avoid dangerous places or reach out for help.
    Let us know how it goes :)
    Hiccup
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    LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    I'm awake and I've had a wee, splashed my face and put my TV on so I don't fall back asleep. Got to set off at 10:15. I'm a bit scared about being out for so long😢

    Thanks both

    No-one is coming with me as I know where it is I'm going and they'll only have to wait around for me for 50minutes (time I'm in my session)

    I don't think it will be paperwork we done that when I had my assesment.
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    LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Where's my support worker I need my lorazepam before I go out 😩
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    JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,306 Part of The Furniture
    Best of luck Lostsense. *hug*
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
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    LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Thanks Mike.

    I'm back home now safe.

    I just went straight there and straight back.

    My counsellor that I'm going to be working with over the next few months seems nice. I had a little cry. There was a bit of paperwork but not much then we just had a chat. 50 minutes go so quick!

    I'm looking forward to the same next week now just need to keep myself safe and away from heights or train tracks when I go every week. I know I'm going to be so scared of going into town now every week though to see my counsellor as I will have on my shoulder can I keep myself safe and I don't know wether I will be able to every week.
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    One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Posts: 599 Incredible Poster
    Hi lostsense glad your counsellor was nice. I know everyone has their different opinions but sometimes it helps to have a little cry.

    It might be good if you can go straight there and straight back so you can keep focused.

    Glad it went ok

    EmmaXx
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    LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Hey this is my second session tomorrow!

    Left my 400mg of queitapine for tonight so hopefully that will make me sleep!
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    LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Now this is my third session tomorrow.

    I can't believe for a week I've been taking my 400mg of queitapine at night see if it makes a difference as I know someone who is on the same dose as me and she takes her 400mg at night and it gave her a high in the day so thought I'de try it out for a week but unfortunately it hasent gave me a high for evan one of the 7days.

    I'm logging off now get into bed early.
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    LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    hey my 4th session tomorrow!

    Ive still been taking all my queitapine at night.

    Im logging off now too for an early night.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Many people find that taking medication that makes them drowsy will help them sleep, but will also mean that they're drowsy for hours after they wake.
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    LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    It is like that on lower doses of quetiapine but higher doses dosent make me feel drowsy the next day.
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    LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    .
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,497 Skive's The Limit
    Lostsense wrote: »
    .

    You ok?
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Just ignore 😂
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hope you're doing okay lostsense
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    LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Hiccup wrote: »
    Hope you're doing okay lostsense

    Hiccup thankyou🖒
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    LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Ooops nearly forgot to write tonight!
    Fifth session tomorrow because I didnt go last week and then I'm seeing my Care Co-Ordinator and then I've got the doctors so 3 back 2 back appointments. Busy day! Hopefully I will fall asleep soon.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,497 Skive's The Limit
    Hope it went/goes well today.
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Counselling went okay.

    On the bus back home now. I'll be back home for about 15minutes and then get a taxi to where I see my Care Co-ordinator. Care Co-ordinator has phoned me though and asked me to go to my normal doctors tomorrow instead of today. They want me to have a blood test but my Care Co-ordinator originally asked me to book a blood test for today but I can ask when I see her why they've changed it from today to tomorrow. So I haven't got the doctors today but I have tomorrow.

    Does that make sense or am I not making sense. My speech is so fast😂 my counsellor was like slow down
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,497 Skive's The Limit
    Ah I think i made sense. But isnt blood tests something that would need to be done sooner? Glad your couselling went okay
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    From what I gather I think they're putting me on a new med today well adding one in so they want to see what my blood levels are after I've taken this new med they're putting me on. They was going to do it before but now they want me to take this new med today and tomorrow and my blood test is at 5pm tomorrow
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,497 Skive's The Limit
    Ah that makes sense. Let us know how the medication goes
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    LostsenseLostsense Posts: 1,329 Wise Owl
    Thanking youuu.

    They have given me a new med to add into themix of what I already take so that's why they want me to have a blood test tomorrow evening to see what my blood levels are like after a couple of days of taking it.

    I'm glad I haven't got to go back out to the Dr's today though. Can chill for the rest of the day and blood test isn't until 5pm tomorrow so can chill for most off tomorrow too.
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