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My friend
One-in-a-million
Posts: 606 Incredible Poster
I have this guy friend and we have been friends for a couple of years. I do quite like him but I know he only wants to be friends. I haven't told him how I feel because I don't want to make things awkward between us.
I haven't had much luck relationship wise a lot of jerks who either already have a girlfriend or guys who give me the impression that they just want the sex.
A couple years back my friend asked if I wanted to go watch a film he was going to see. I was a bit unsure at first because it was the first time I'd gone out on my own with a guy since the bullying and harassment at school. He was the one who actually helped me gain some of that trust I lost back.
We still meet up from time to time and go for a drink or a meal. And for the time I'm in his company the conversation is brilliant. We may only talk about things like tv and work and things that have gone on. But it's nice to have a conversation that doesn't end with the conversation of sex.
In general terms I don't mind but when you're on a first date with someone and all they seem to be interested in is sex its a turn off. Well it is for me anyway lol. I always say that I have nothing against sex but I would want it to be with someone I love and trust.
I know I shouldn't compare a friend to potential dates but there was a guy who I have been talking to alot. He kept braking dates off and then when he got into a relationship he never spoke to me. Hos relationships didn't particularly bother me (they did a bit but not massively) because we weren't actually together but the fact he ignored me was upsetting. He has done this 3 times so I told him to do one (only not as nicely put as that 😂) he keeps saying I'm being un reasonable. I gave him the example of my friend, (cares about my feelings, interested in what I've done/ doing. Hardly ever cancels plans at the last minute ect.)
My point is I don't know how to get rid of this feeling I have of my friend. I know we will have nothing more than friendship. But his personality and his mannerisms makes me feel respected and secure with him
I haven't had much luck relationship wise a lot of jerks who either already have a girlfriend or guys who give me the impression that they just want the sex.
A couple years back my friend asked if I wanted to go watch a film he was going to see. I was a bit unsure at first because it was the first time I'd gone out on my own with a guy since the bullying and harassment at school. He was the one who actually helped me gain some of that trust I lost back.
We still meet up from time to time and go for a drink or a meal. And for the time I'm in his company the conversation is brilliant. We may only talk about things like tv and work and things that have gone on. But it's nice to have a conversation that doesn't end with the conversation of sex.
In general terms I don't mind but when you're on a first date with someone and all they seem to be interested in is sex its a turn off. Well it is for me anyway lol. I always say that I have nothing against sex but I would want it to be with someone I love and trust.
I know I shouldn't compare a friend to potential dates but there was a guy who I have been talking to alot. He kept braking dates off and then when he got into a relationship he never spoke to me. Hos relationships didn't particularly bother me (they did a bit but not massively) because we weren't actually together but the fact he ignored me was upsetting. He has done this 3 times so I told him to do one (only not as nicely put as that 😂) he keeps saying I'm being un reasonable. I gave him the example of my friend, (cares about my feelings, interested in what I've done/ doing. Hardly ever cancels plans at the last minute ect.)
My point is I don't know how to get rid of this feeling I have of my friend. I know we will have nothing more than friendship. But his personality and his mannerisms makes me feel respected and secure with him
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Comments
Logically, It makes sense that you would have feelings for someone who treats you kindly and respects you. In my opinion, the best thing to do is just appreciate his friendship and use the characteristics you like about him to understand what you're looking for in other future partners. Maybe knowing what you like about a person will help you more quickly know if a potential partner is going to fill your needs ( it sounds like the potential date you have right now is not fulfilling these needs). I would also argue that if you are both such good friends, that there is always a potential for a deeper relationship to develop. Maybe try to just be yourself and see how things go, there's no problem with romantically liking a friend, so i wouldn't view how you feel as a "problem", instead it just is, and that's perfectly okay.
I hope that makes sense! I really want to convey that you shouldn't settle for someone who does not make you feel loved and cared for!
- Mica
Is he single?
I can see why you like you're friend he sounds caring a kind. Like someone who wants to be there for you instead of for any other reason.
I'm glad you feel ready to date again that's really nice to hear. I hope that you find someone similar to your friend like mica said or if your friend changes his mind it goes well.
I'm not sure to be honest really I want a relationship but I think the physical side of it would probably be a slow process but then again I don't really know for sure