Housing issue

Former Member

Hello,

So im having housing issues at home with family. I moved out when i was 16 due to physical and emotional abuse but thought they had now changed.. i moved back in to find out that i was wrong.. they dont understand my mh issues, they are controlling, they threaten me with the mental health hospital if i dont do as they say, constant arguments, bringing me down about my mh, a few times they have said "if someones going to kill themself at least do a good job of it".. things are hard here. Forcing me to go on a date with a guy when they know ive been through sexual abuse. Ive been to the council and they have deemed my housing situation as not suitable, they referred me to a hostel, i have an appointment with them for an assessment on friday at 9am but scared as i feel i wont get a place there as someone else may need it more than me. Opinions??

Thanks,
Kayden

Former Member

Hey Kayden, hope you are well? So sorry to hear you're having a such hard time at home. It is positive that the council have deemed your situation as not suitable, so you can hopefully get a stable living situation. Do you feel you are able to tell the assessor the problems you are having at home? Being honest with them will make sure that you get the help you need.

Can you tell us more about how your family have been controlling, and why did you think they had changed before you moved back?

Also is there any way you can look into claiming housing benefit so you can get a place of your own? We have some advice for a teenage in a similar situation to yours that you might find helpful: http://www.themix.org.uk/housing/housing-problems/can-my-boyfriend-aged-17-get-housing-because-his-parents-are-abusing-him-8100.html

If you need to talk this through with someone immediately, housing charity, Shelter have a helpline: 0808 800 4444 (open 8am-8pm M-F, 8am-5pm on weekends). you might want to look around the website for housing and benefit information: http://england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/housing_benefit

Wish you all the best for Friday. Do let us know how you get on.

Nikki x

Former Member

Hi Nikki,

Thanks for replying. Im not sure if i can verbally say the issues at home. I could maybe write them down and hand it to him?
My family are controlling as they wanted control over my finance before, my mum keeps me isolated, i dont go anywhere and if i do they want to know where and with who and are constantly phoning me if i go out. If i dont do as they say they threaten me with the mental health hospital, they forced me to go on a date with a guy when they know ive been through sexual abuse - she went mad when i said i wasnt going, they always have a go at me if i dont want to do something. My mum doesnt want me having counselling, she says it will just make me worse. She wouldnt let me take medication for my mental health until the hospital psych put me on anti psychotics. She went absolutely mad with me all because i had a mental health assessment.

I thought they had changed because after not having contact with them for 5 years, she was telling me how much she loved me and if i moved back she would make sure i had the right support etc..

I looked at living on my own but many places down here will not accept housing benefit or any other benefits. Mostly only students down here.

Thank you for the link, i will have a look at it.

Kayden

Former Member

I have my housing assessment today at 9am with a hostel. Im very nervous and anxious. Then i have to see someone about domestic abuse straight after that. Hope to god my family don't find out.

Former Member

So my hostel assessment went well, although they want to look at my records there from 5 years ago which isnt that great as it has a lot of bad shit on it about drugs, alcohol and self harm. They have a room going spare a week monday, after my hostel assessment i went to my local lgbt centre who was messaging me yesterday about the domestic abuse at home.. the guy i spoke to today contacted the hostel to give them more info about my sexual abuse and other domestic abuse things going on at home.. which should hopefully give me a better chance at getting a space there. Ive also been referred to the local domestic abuse service. Going there on monday at 11am..

Former Member

Hi KaydenK,

Glad to hear your hostel assessment went well and that there will be a space opening up there. I would try to remain positive about being given that spot, hopefully they will take in account your progress since 5 years ago and the person who called on your behalf from the lgbt center. You should be proud of the steps you've been taking to get yourself out of your current housing situation. Please feel free to keep us updated on how things progress!
Wishing you the best,
- Mica

Former Member

Hi Mica, i just had a phone call. Sadly, they will not accept me at the hostel. So im screwed.

Former Member

Kayden I had hostels and other supported housing that wouldn't accept me because of my risk that's why I had to move from Worcestershire to Birmingham.

Former Member

Hey Steph, they basically looked at my records from living there 5 years ago and that probably screwed everything up. There is so much bad shit on those records. The hostel told the housing options woman and all she bloody said was she will put another referral to a place she referred me to a few months ago who wouldnt accept me back then as they have people being referred to them who are living on the streets. There are no more bloody options in my city. Housing options woman asked the hostel to tell me to pop into her office on tuesday. I cant see her on my own. Last time she was stupid and rung my mum.. yes.. because thats what you do when someones living through domestic abuse.. you ring the person responsible so its harder for the victim. I dont trust her one bit

Former Member

Maybe you'll have to look at moving out of your city like I had to

Former Member

I tried. I used to live in a hostel for 8 months in a different city before i moved back home, one of the hostels down here phoned my old hostel in the other city to see if they would have me back last november. They said yes but i would have to go through housing options in that city.. so i did.. to be told even though i am classed as homeless/risk of homeless in my current city i am not in the other city so she refused to refer me back to my old hostel

Former Member

Have you Googled hostels and supported accomodation in your city?

Former Member

Yeah i have. First one wouldnt accept me. Then the other place who runs like 5 supported houses and hostels in my city wont accept me as im almost 22 their cut off is 21. Then i got rejected by this other hostel today. There are no other places. My city is quite small not one of the big ones

Former Member

Maybe just have to look completely out of the box and in a different city to the two you have already tried unfortunately. I know hostels and supported accomodation in Worcestershire and Birmingham are you near to those or not?

Former Member

If im escaping domestic abuse then other cities should be allowing me to apply. My housing options worker wants to see me on tuesday, i dont trust her she rung my mum last time which made things worse for me. I am so scared right now incase she does the same tuesday. I used to live in birmingham a few years ago. Im not near them cities. Im in South Wales

Former Member

I just found Llamau supported housing in wales

Former Member

I shall take a look now, thank you

Former Member

Just type in google hostels and supported housing in the South Wales

Former Member

Just checked what supported housing and hostel info they have. Hostel is for 16-17 year olds and supported accommodation is for 16-21 year olds. I dont fit the age criteria. I'll have to have a look around. But thank you!

Former Member

Have you got a local MIND -MIND have supported accomodation

Also YMCA'S and St.Basils

Former Member

Yes there is a local MIND here. Not sure about St.Basils or YMCA's