Home› Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

Approaching girls who are in groups

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Most girls go out in groups and very few go out at night on their own. Approaching a group is much more difficult than approaching a girl on her own. Even if the girl I'm attracted to shows positive interest in me, her friends tell her to reject me, which she does. Is there a solution to this problem?

Ideally, I'd like girls to approach me. However, most girls never do any approaching, asking out etc.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Is there a way to separate the girl I'm interested in from the rest of her group, so that I can talk to her alone?
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Hi Robert
    what i would suggest is to go to her when she is not talking to her friends. Like when shes buying a drink. Or ask her if she wants to come with you to get a drink and keep you company. Or ask her to dance with you or just say you need to speak to her esle where.
    Or when youre with the group just ask questions to her and the rest rest would get the hint. And have your friend as the "wingman" to distract the rest.
    Probably not a good sugesstion but getting drunk enough to get the confidence to ask
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Most girls are with their friends all the time when they go out - they buy drinks together, go to the dancefloor together, go to the toilet together etc.

    When I ask a girl in a group to spend time with me alone, her friends tell her not to - and she trusts them rather than me.

    When I talk to just one girl, her friends verbally ambush me and make it impossible to have a conversation with the girl whom I want.

    My wingman can't distract all her friends at the same time.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Invite her to go out with you and others?
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When I've tried that, her friends advised her against that as well!
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,687 Skive's The Limit
    Ah sorry i have no idea then
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What about just asking for her social media or number and trying to speak to her like that first ?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    They usually won't give me any of their contact details.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey Robert, just wondering is this a generalisation of girls in your area or is this a specific girl?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's a generalisation, which has included many girls whom I've been attracted to.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I see, do you see these girls only on nights out? And is it like bars/clubs?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's often in those circumstances. It happens at other times and in other places as well. Many girls are in groups during the day as well - and at venues such as sports centres, shopping centres etc. They're like platoons of soldiers!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    True, haha it may be worth directing your whole group towards them instead of a single wingman
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're assuming I'm in a group, but I actually spend most of my time alone or with just one friend at a time. That makes it very difficult to successfully approach a group of girls.

    Why do so many girls travel in groups most of the time? When in a nightclub, many go the bar, the dancefloor and the toilets in groups!

    I want to just talk to one girl on my own - I don't want to have to plan out a military-like strategy to be able to have a one-to-one conversation.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Robert wrote: »
    You're assuming I'm in a group, but I actually spend most of my time alone or with just one friend at a time. That makes it very difficult to successfully approach a group of girls.

    Why do so many girls travel in groups most of the time? When in a nightclub, many go the bar, the dancefloor and the toilets in groups!

    I want to just talk to one girl on my own - I don't want to have to plan out a military-like strategy to be able to have a one-to-one conversation.

    Girls are always in groups because it reduces the chances of being raped, hit on, or abused.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're not likely to be raped in a shopping centre at noon - so why be in a group then?

    Most girls go to nightclubs, bars etc. in order to be hit on. If they didn't, they'd wear comfortable conservative clothes - no-one wears high heels and a tight miniskirt on a cold night to be comfortable.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Robert wrote: »
    You're not likely to be raped in a shopping centre at noon - so why be in a group then?

    Most girls go to nightclubs, bars etc. in order to be hit on. If they didn't, they'd wear comfortable conservative clothes - no-one wears high heels and a tight miniskirt on a cold night to be comfortable.

    Or maybe, they've chosen their clothes because they want to look nice? Or because it makes them feel confident? Not to give you an invitation to approach them when they're having a nice time with friends?
    And maybe they go to the shopping centre with friends because they like spending time with them?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You can look nice and feel confident without being in a miniskirt on a cold night or wearing uncomfortable high heels. Such clothes are designed specifically to make the wearer more sexually attractive. The same goes for make-up: red lipstick is designed to make the lips more attractive by making them look like aroused labia.

    If they don't want to be approached, why do many of them welcome approaches from male groups of a similar size? If they didn't want to be approached at all, they'd reject everyone.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Robert wrote: »
    You can look nice and feel confident without being in a miniskirt on a cold night or wearing uncomfortable high heels. Such clothes are designed specifically to make the wearer more sexually attractive. The same goes for make-up: red lipstick is designed to make the lips more attractive by making them look like aroused labia.

    If they don't want to be approached, why do many of them welcome approaches from male groups of a similar size? If they didn't want to be approached at all, they'd reject everyone.

    I were miniskirts and lipstick all the time but cause it makes me feel better! If I want compliments from anyone it's my friends. And it's kinda hard to "reject" bigger groups of people. Just because you don't see them walking away doesn't mean they're getting any attention, they could easily be getting ignored too
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Miniskirts and lipstick are definitely designed to make the wearer more sexually attractive. You can receive compliments from your friends without wearing them.

    I have friends who, when they go out in groups, are often successful in hooking up with girls - but are not successful when they go out alone or with just one friend.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Robert wrote: »
    Miniskirts and lipstick are definitely designed to make the wearer more sexually attractive. You can receive compliments from your friends without wearing them.

    I have friends who, when they go out in groups, are often successful in hooking up with girls - but are not successful when they go out alone or with just one friend.


    Tbh most women wear miniskirts and lipstick to make them feel sexier, not to be more sexually attractive to you. People can wear what they want, it's not an invitation for sex or for you to hit on them
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    They feel sexier because they look sexier. They want to look sexier - that means being sexually attractive. If they merely wanted to look good, they could do that without looking sexy.

    If women don't want to be hit on, why aren't there thousands of female-only venues (other than lesbian bars) so that they can avoid being hit on?

    Few women make sexual approaches to men, so how are men supposed to work out which women do want to hook up? If overtly sexual clothing isn't a hint - what is?

    I've recently escaped from a horrible relationship - I'm just looking to have fun now.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But nobody is saying they want to look sexy FOR YOU.
    If I go out all dressed up, it's so I feel good about myself, it's so I feel sexy, FOR ME, or for my partner, not for anyone else.
    Clubs do not equal wanting to be hit on. We are entitled to have fun as well.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Speak for yourself, don't wrongly assume everyone is the same as you. I've heard girls say that they love receiving a lot of male attention when they go out dressed up.

    Actually, I have had a girl explicitly state that she dressed sexy for me.

    You're wrongly assuming that no girl wants to be hit on. Not everyone wants to be celibate and very few girls ever make sexual approaches. If girls never got hit on, the vast majority of them would never have sex in their entire lives.

    You can dress up without wearing revealing clothing such as a miniskirt on a frosty night. No-one wears a miniskirt on a cold night because it's comfortable.
Sign In or Register to comment.