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Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey I'm new. My name is Beth and I am 15years old. I was told about TheMix on another site. I'm really struggling with suicidal feelings at the moment. I really don't know if I will act on them. I have a plan and know how I would do it. My mum is an alcoholic and my dad ended his own life. I only have my grandma but I can't talk to her. I am in care at the moment. I self harm a lot by cutting with anything that I can get my hands on. I'm really scared, everyone is unaware of the scars and wounds on my body. I've kept it complete secret. I hear things like if you don't get to this place in 10 seconds your friend will die infront you and if you don't complete this task in 10 seconds he will kill you. I can hear a girl crying in some water and asking for my help, I have nightmares everynight and wake up screaming and crying. I'm falling apart. I see no hope and feel completely worthless. No-one cares and I see that because no-one cares when they have me round my neck or suffocate me in my sleep. They're all around me looking at me and watching me shouting at the count of 10 acting me to complete what they say. I'm frightened of them. My heart is racing

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sorry I am feeling so bad just as I joined I guess that's why I did join, maybe I'm not worthy of any of your responses because I'm a newbie. I went to a mental health dropin today and they said I couldn't go in as my risk of jumping of a carpark that was opposite was high. So I couldnt evan talk to them. I want to to do something so bad right now. I'm so angry and irritable. I keep pacing round my room
  • DistractionDistraction Noob ScotlandPosts: 349 The Mix Regular
    Hi Beth,

    Welcome to the boards!! Your worth 1000 responses *hug*, it's shit that you'r going through so much, the toughest people go through the hardest things, u know? how you holding up?bit of a daft question but it's good to talk about things
  • MikeMike Community Manager Posts: 4,099 Community Veteran
    Hi there Beth, and welcome to the community. :wave: Posting here is a super brave thing to do, so well done for reaching out to us.

    Looks like there was a bit of a delay in your thread being picked up - that happens here every now and again, and time of posting usually makes a difference too depending on who's online. Rest assured, it's nothing personal. :)

    I can tell you're really battling with a lot of difficult stuff right now, and you're certainly not alone in that here. The discussion boards are made up of folks from pretty much all walks of life, so there will no doubt be some people here who can relate to what you're going through.

    If you do want to talk things through in a bit more depth, it might be best to head over to our Health & Wellbeing forum where you'll pick up a few more responses. We also have a Sex & Relationships forum which should be a good place to talk about your relationships with your parents, if that's something you were after. In any case, I hope that helps!

    I'm Mike, by the way, one of the moderators you'll see floating around here from time to time. :)
    Taking a break 🌈
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Mike, nice to meet you.

    Thankyou for welcoming me.

    I miss my dad so much and my mum but I'm not allowed to see my mum at the moment because she's an alcoholic.

    I'll head over to the other threads soon, when I'm ready to talk more in depth.

    Are you the only moderator? Is this site safe and looked after? Is there a button you can press to take you immediately off this site and onto Google?
  • HannHann Meme Queen MancPosts: 3,434 Boards Guru
    Hi Beth, Welcome to the boards.

    Mike isn't the only moderator, there are a lot more :) The site is really well looked after by the moderators and by the community :)

    there is a button on the right of the page that says "Hide Page" if you click that, you should be taken to Google

    Hope this helps
    Hann
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Hann. Thankyou.

    I see, the moderators have moderator under their name. What time are they online from and untill? Incase there are any problems.

    There isn't an option to hide the page on my phone?
  • MikeMike Community Manager Posts: 4,099 Community Veteran
    BethM wrote: »
    I see, the moderators have moderator under their name. What time are they online from and untill? Incase there are any problems.

    There isn't an option to hide the page on my phone?

    Hann is totally right about the hide page button. :yes: Although I believe that is actually only a feature for the desktop version, so I'm afraid you won't find it on mobile. It's something we can look into though, so thanks for raising it.

    Generally speaking, the staff team tends to be available during office hours (9:30-5:30) every day except Sunday. You can message us directly by going to The Mix account (@The Mix) on here. Our volunteers tend to be around all week at various times of the day. You'll usually see at least one floating around somewhere. :)

    Hope that helps!
    Taking a break 🌈
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ah right, it would be good if it was on mobile too.

    I see, thanks😊
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