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Hey I'm new. My name is Beth and I am 15years old. I was told about TheMix on another site. I'm really struggling with suicidal feelings at the moment. I really don't know if I will act on them. I have a plan and know how I would do it. My mum is an alcoholic and my dad ended his own life. I only have my grandma but I can't talk to her. I am in care at the moment. I self harm a lot by cutting with anything that I can get my hands on. I'm really scared, everyone is unaware of the scars and wounds on my body. I've kept it complete secret. I hear things like if you don't get to this place in 10 seconds your friend will die infront you and if you don't complete this task in 10 seconds he will kill you. I can hear a girl crying in some water and asking for my help, I have nightmares everynight and wake up screaming and crying. I'm falling apart. I see no hope and feel completely worthless. No-one cares and I see that because no-one cares when they have me round my neck or suffocate me in my sleep. They're all around me looking at me and watching me shouting at the count of 10 acting me to complete what they say. I'm frightened of them. My heart is racing