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Can i make my sister ill?

ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 5,790 The Mix Elder
Firstly sorry for all the posts but this is something ive been concerned for a while. So i have a diagnosis of anorexia. My sister is my younge caarer to make sure i eat. But its shouldnt be her job.
She is my twin, so we are quite close. We go to the sane college and work place. And wonder if my habits rub on to her?

I feel like when i dont want to eat i feel like im putting it in her head that its wrong to be eating. She wont go to any support groups with me.
I may just be parnoid but it looks like shes losing weight.
It makes me eat because the last thing is for her to become anorexic aswell. I dont want to make someone ill. I dont know what to do if i think shes becoming anorexic. The guilt would just get too much.
I've learnt two people can look at the exact same thing and see something completly different. 

Comments

  • DreaDrea Posts: 292 Rampant Poster
    Hey Shaunie,
    Happy New Year! Don't be sorry for posting, that's what we're here for! It might be worth discussing this with your sister and talk to her about how you're feeling :) It's really great that she's helping you and it's great you have such a good relationship, but it's usually best for experts to help you with mental illness because they have been trained and know the best methods for recovery :) It might be a good idea to look for help from an expert if youre comfortable with that of course! We're not experts here so we can't say whether anorexia is something that can rub off on someone else, but communication is often great and you can see how she feels about it too :) We're always here to support you:blush:

    Have a great day! Look forward to hearing from you soon :)

    Drea:heart:
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 5,790 The Mix Elder
    Drea wrote: »
    Hey Shaunie,
    Happy New Year! Don't be sorry for posting, that's what we're here for! It might be worth discussing this with your sister and talk to her about how you're feeling :) It's really great that she's helping you and it's great you have such a good relationship, but it's usually best for experts to help you with mental illness because they have been trained and know the best methods for recovery :) It might be a good idea to look for help from an expert if youre comfortable with that of course! We're not experts here so we can't say whether anorexia is something that can rub off on someone else, but communication is often great and you can see how she feels about it too :) We're always here to support you:blush:

    Have a great day! Look forward to hearing from you soon :)

    Drea:heart:

    Thank you for replying.
    Ive tried asking professionals and expects about this but they dont say much. And family just get over looked.
    I asked my sister why shes wasnt eating as much, she didnt say much and i know she would keep it to her self if she was concerned about her wieght.

    I feel quite helpless.
    I've learnt two people can look at the exact same thing and see something completly different. 
  • AifeAife LondonPosts: 1,962 Staff Moderator
    Hey Shaunie, it sounds like you've been going through a really difficult time and worrying about this for a while. You have taken a really brave step in posting here, and you should be really proud of yourself. For some people who have a sibling with an eating disorder, it can be difficult for them to understand what they are going through and to open up about how they feel. Communication is really important, so it might be good to keep talking to her and letting her know how you feel and what you are worried about.

    I'm sorry to hear that professionals and experts have not been able to say much or give you advice about your twin sister. From reading your posts, it is clear that you care a lot about your sister and it is okay for you to be finding things difficult too. For some people, having someone in the family with an eating disorder can be a challenging time because they feel forgotten as the attention from their parents is not the same as it used to be. There is an interesting article by Anorexia and Bulimia Care about siblings and the effect an eating disorder has on them. I have linked it here and you might find it helpful to read. Have you been able to speak to anyone else in your family about your sister or any of her friends?

    Do feel free to keep posting here whenever you like, we are here for you :)
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 5,790 The Mix Elder
    Thank you for your reply
    My parents never cared in the first place. Which is why she is my carer, so not sure whether she feels she not got attention.

    But really shes not actually my carer cause she dont care either. She just wants extentions on her work at college.
    I will aviode speaking about food or anything to do with weight. To not make her feel like she needs to lose weight too. And ive never spoke to just her about it, and iam the one with an eating disorder. Yet she makes negative comments on my weight gain because ive been binge eating. Like " you cant wear that it will just stretch"
    Ive gotten over wanting to be stick thin and all of that but because i have this diagnosis, i feel like i need to restict so i dont look like im out of control from not resticting. My family label me as anorexic and i feel if get my own food they will look at me as weak.
    i dont know why i care so much when she dont.
    I've learnt two people can look at the exact same thing and see something completly different. 
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