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Bulimia possible trigger

SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
in Health & Wellbeing
Hi. So ive deleoped bulimia from my anorexia. Its taking over my life. I feel like ive failed my diagnosis and dont desrve treatment. But iam conserned about my health. I eat loads and purge many different way. Can anyone relate. Everyone thinks im better cause im at a healthy weight but ive never felt so bad and no one understands it or how much its controlling my life. I obssess about food all the time.
“And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley

Comments

  • One-in-a-millionOne-in-a-million Posts: 606 Incredible Poster
    Hey there :D

    I'm sorry to hear what going on for you but to realise what you are doing is not healthy is a good thing as it means you understand and want to seek help so well done :)

    Have you spoken to anyone about how you are feeling. I think you replied to one of my threads about healthy eating. How would you feel about going to your gp?

    I've thought about keeping a food diary for a while to see what I can change. Do you feel this may be something you feel you are able to do? I have also made myself sick on two occasions which is why I've decided to get some advice before I actually start doing that more often.

    I know you have mentioned you are having treatment but if you feel it's not working you have the right to say.

    I think you have done really well to talk here and I hope you are ok :)

    Emma
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Hi Emma.
    Thank for your help and reply!
    And i have spoken to many "proffesionals" how i feel. Wheather they listen or not i dont know. I have told them so many times about my treatment not working they dont change it. Iam jist in and our of a&e on drips from overdosing, they couldnt care less about my mental health and only care about my physical health.

    And keeping a food diary is something i tried but it made me realise how much i was actually eating when seeing it on paper. But it sounds it could be helpful for you as you can realise where to change.

    Im sorry to hear yoy have made yourself sick, it takes a lot of guilt to get to that point so definitely see someone. But i would suggest never to do it again, which sounds obvious. But the more you do it then more easier it gets and thats when it becomes out of control. And thats horrible feeling. And becomes an escape.

    Thank you 😊
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi Shaunie,

    I'm sorry to hear you haven't felt very supported by the health professionals. I can understand it must be frustrating that your mental health seems to get overlooked when they are dealing with your physical health. I don't think you have failed but in fact are doing really well to be seeking support, it isn't an easy thing to overcome and it takes courage to realise that it's not healthy and to reach out for help :yes:

    I wonder if you have heard of a charity called Beat? They have a range of support services and information that you can access.

    Physical and mental illness can often come hand in hand and then eventually become a vicious cycle. Mind has some handy info on things like self-care and wellbeing, to help you manage those every day things which can tend to become a struggle.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    I did email beat a while ago and they said about their services but i already have therapy. And i get told to ring these places when i feel like i will do something complusive and dangerious but i hate phone calls.
    They just wont change my therapist. Its not helping its wasting them and my time, sitting in silence yet they dont change it and will finish it like that.
    But iam on my 5th refearal to personality disoder - have spend my time inbetween wrong services. Hopedully they will have answers for my complusive and dangerous behaviour.
    Very hard fighting yourself as well for proper support.
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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