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Will I ever feel like my body is enough for me?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm new here and I'm nervous.

​Never before have I had an outlet to talk about how I truly, truly feel about my own flesh and being, but here it goes.
​Ever since I gained an awareness of my body, I have found issue with it. First I was too tall, then too fat, then too spotty, then too pink faced. Now? I'm in limbo between feeling the most beautiful I ever have felt, and an internal hatred of my every contour, freckle and curve.

​I'm not fat, nor am I thin. I'm a lazy, unfit 18 year old who is too frightened of people seeing her to go out and exercise. Whilst I spend hours trying to syke myself up to go out jogging, I am taunted with the knowledge that my body is in the best condition it ever will be. When I am old, I will look back and regret.

​How will I ever be happy?

Comments

  • DreaDrea Posts: 292 The Mix Regular
    Hey bobbyalice,
    Firstly it's great that you've come on here to talk about your feelings especially since you mentioned you had never done it before so well done! You should be really proud off yourself.

    You have clearly managed to find beauty within yourself which is great, but you're still not feeling as confident as you feel you should which is perfectly normal! Sooo many people go through self-confidence issues, and I can completely empathise with you as I was the same in high school.

    One thing that helped me when I was feeling too frightened to go out and exercise was to do little work outs at home from youtube videos or just knowledge of certain workout routines, and then when I felt I was at a level where I was a little fitter, I then went to the gym. It is also important for you to know that generally at the gym people do their own workouts and although it may feel like people are watching you, generally they're not! With that being said, it is completely understandable how you feel!

    Equally, with the jogging issue, you could always start off working your way up. So for example, you could start off by going for speed walks, and then once you feel comfortable, try to maybe go for a short jog. And then slowly you may feel more and more comfortable to do these things :)

    Speak soon :)
    Drea:heart:
  • WiseCounselWiseCounsel Deactivated Posts: 8 Confirmed not a robot
    Hi bobbyalice, & Drea.

    I second all this! What you're experiencing is so part of the human experience. We all go through it once, or even several times as we evolve and change as we get older, and find new appreciation for our bodies. Don't forget there is our 20s, 30s, etc to look forward too, where our bodies will continue to grow and change. Depending on what our sex/gender is, this will also have an impact: hormones and pregnancy anyone?
    I agree with Drea's suggestion: with anything in life, if you haven't really tried something, it's going to feel uncomfortable, awkward even. You're going to feel self-conscious, and chances are you're not alone. But it's a great idea to start of slow, and small, and build up confidence and knowledge of what you need to do, and realize that everyone feels that way initially say: at the gym. After time, you realize that there are so many different body types, fitness goals, and stages, and ages that you are just part of the mix, and everyone is in the same boat.
    Remember, the sooner someone starts to own how unique, and utterly amazing they are - the sooner life starts happening for them. The most important relationship one has, is with themselves. Without yourself, life wouldn't be happening, this chat wouldn't be happening!
    So take comfort in knowing that this is normal, part of the process of becoming a unique individual, as normal as it is for snakes to shed their skin, birds to malt, and human beings to discover what makes them unique, and to own, and love all of themselves.
    For I can assure you, this won't be the first time life will throw something like this at you. But once you master self-love, everything appears possible. #really

    -counsellorkev
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