I CANT do this!! help!

Former Member

Christmas time is full of expectations to be happy, joyful and excited but im feeling none of that. Im having suicidal thoughts right now and i honestly dont know what to do, i dont wanted to burden anyone while the rest of my family are busy and happy.

Former Member

Hi Jess, sounds like things are tough for you like you say not feeling the happy joyful expected feelings, sorry to hear that you're having suicidal thoughts if things are getting really overwhelming for you we'd urge you to contact a crisis support service that could be Samaritans or Papyrus or the online chat I'm Alive, we're here for you if you want to tea more we'll be here to listen and try our best to support you, it can be easy to compare what's going on and how your feel to how you think you should feel but it's OK to not feel as excited maybe you don't have to feel a certain way about Christmas? Feel free to tell us more about how you're feeling if you'd like to we're here

Former Member

Steph wrote: »

Hi Jess, sounds like things are tough for you like you say not feeling the happy joyful expected feelings, sorry to hear that you're having suicidal thoughts if things are getting really overwhelming for you we'd urge you to contact a crisis support service that could be Samaritans or Papyrus or the online chat I'm Alive, we're here for you if you want to tea more we'll be here to listen and try our best to support you, it can be easy to compare what's going on and how your feel to how you think you should feel but it's OK to not feel as excited maybe you don't have to feel a certain way about Christmas? Feel free to tell us more about how you're feeling if you'd like to we're here

Thank you for commenting Steph. I honestly feel like im not good enough. my parents keep saying jess just brighten up or jess just be happy and positive but its not that easy. I am not who they want to be so whats the point anymore. They dont bloody understand!! i am missing my friend so much as well who took his own life last year, i would do anything to hear his voice or give him a hug again. - im honestly not coping and i am in contact with Papyrus. It is just so hard steph, i look round and everyone else are so happy and excited about christmas while i just want to cry. Will it ever get easier? They say time heals but with time things are only getting worse.

Former Member

Jess101 wrote: »

Thank you for commenting Steph. I honestly feel like im not good enough. my parents keep saying jess just brighten up or jess just be happy and positive but its not that easy. I am not who they want to be so whats the point anymore. They dont bloody understand!! i am missing my friend so much as well who took his own life last year, i would do anything to hear his voice or give him a hug again. - im honestly not coping and i am in contact with Papyrus. It is just so hard steph, i look round and everyone else are so happy and excited about christmas while i just want to cry. Will it ever get easier? They say time heals but with time things are only getting worse.

Hey Jess,

It sounds like you've been having a really really rough time, you talk about the expectations of Christmas and how they're causing you to compare yourself to the happy and excited people you see around you. I want to reassure you that a lot of people find Christmas incredibly hard.. whether it's a time of grieving for those we miss, spending time with difficult family members or struggling with low mood, you're not alone - you are good enough as you are. I wonder if you can give yourself the permission to take the pressure off yourself if you can - the images we see on facebook, on tv or elsewhere don't tell the whole story.

It's okay to feel sad for your friend and it's okay that you don't feel happy and positive all the time - it sounds really frustrating and upsetting that your parents expect you to be able to snap out of it though One thing to try would be to write a letter to your friend to help you explore those feelings and have an outlet for them. Or you could perhaps do something nice to remember them today?

Well done for being in touch with Papyrus, it's really positive that you're reaching out.

Time can be a wonderful healer but the length of time can vary for everyone and there can be a lot of ups and downs..

Be kind to yourself if you can, sending a hug *hug*

Former Member

Jo7 wrote: »

Hey Jess,

It sounds like you've been having a really really rough time, you talk about the expectations of Christmas and how they're causing you to compare yourself to the happy and excited people you see around you. I want to reassure you that a lot of people find Christmas incredibly hard.. whether it's a time of grieving for those we miss, spending time with difficult family members or struggling with low mood, you're not alone - you are good enough as you are. I wonder if you can give yourself the permission to take the pressure off yourself if you can - the images we see on facebook, on tv or elsewhere don't tell the whole story.

It's okay to feel sad for your friend and it's okay that you don't feel happy and positive all the time - it sounds really frustrating and upsetting that your parents expect you to be able to snap out of it though One thing to try would be to write a letter to your friend to help you explore those feelings and have an outlet for them. Or you could perhaps do something nice to remember them today?

Well done for being in touch with Papyrus, it's really positive that you're reaching out.

Time can be a wonderful healer but the length of time can vary for everyone and there can be a lot of ups and downs..

Be kind to yourself if you can, sending a hug *hug*

Thank you so much for the support Jo,

Things got a bit better and more manageable - i have been in regular contact with Papyrus and The Samaritans. I really really hope 2017 is going to be better because honestly this has been the worst year of my life.

Anyway...hope you had a lovely Christmas and i wish you a happy new year. *hug*

Former Member

I'm glad to hear things feel a little more manageable Jess and that you have been making good use of Samaritans and Papyrus when you need to, you're really brave for doing that.

I wish you a peaceful start to 2017 *hug*

Former Member

I would do anything to see my counsellor earlier - i dont see him till 4th January. I am struggling so much, i need to talk. :banghead::crying:

Former Member

Hey Jess *hug*

You've been doing so great reaching out on here and to Papyrus and Samaritans. Would it help to plan something for each day until you get to see your counsellor, to keep yourself occupied? How about writing down the things you want to talk about to lighten the burden a little?

We're here if you need to vent; hang in there

Former Member

raich wrote: »

Hey Jess *hug*

You've been doing so great reaching out on here and to Papyrus and Samaritans. Would it help to plan something for each day until you get to see your counsellor, to keep yourself occupied? How about writing down the things you want to talk about to lighten the burden a little?

We're here if you need to vent; hang in there

Hi Raich,

I would plan stuff to do but I don't know what to do. Its my 19th birthday this Thursday and I don't even know what to do for that.

I need to tell my counsellor about my worsening suicidal thoughts, back to thinking of ways to take my life, more panic attacks, increasingly anxious and always looking around when out, always feel so paranoid as well as flashbacks/nightmares. 😢

Former Member

Hey Jess ,

Just wanted to reiterate what everyone else has said that you’re doing great for talking about what you’re going through, hopefully it helps. What kind of stuff have you done for your birthday in the past? Sounds like there’s a lot that you want to get off your chest with your counsellor, again I think it’s great that you can tell us about it here.

Always happy to listen :yes:

Former Member

Tony wrote: »

Hey Jess ,

Just wanted to reiterate what everyone else has said that you’re doing great for talking about what you’re going through, hopefully it helps. What kind of stuff have you done for your birthday in the past? Sounds like there’s a lot that you want to get off your chest with your counsellor, again I think it’s great that you can tell us about it here.

Always happy to listen :yes:

Hello Tony,

Thank you very much for the support, i really appreciate it. In the past i have gone go-karting, shopping, ice skating, swimming, had a meal out with family, rock climbing and had a disco.

Can i just keep talking more on here?

Former Member

Jess101 wrote: »

Hello Tony,

Thank you very much for the support, i really appreciate it. In the past i have gone go-karting, shopping, ice skating, swimming, had a meal out with family, rock climbing and had a disco.

Can i just keep talking more on here?

You're welcome Nice sounds like some fun stuff, rock climbing is excellent! Are you quite an active person?

Of course *hug*

Former Member

I feel like nothing will ever get better and sometimes i sit and thinking, what is the point in life. - I am incredibly ambitious and when i try i just fail and end up disappointing myself. My depression and anxiety is really stopping me from reaching my full potential, i quit college twice in less than 2 months because i just couldn't deal wth the pressure and then i went back as i thought things would be different but it wasn't. I want to do well, i know what i want to do for a career in the future but its such a fight to get there, i dont have the strength to get to that point.

Aoife

Hey Jess,

It sounds like you've been going through a really difficult time. For many of us we do put so much pressure on ourselves to do well and when we fail it can be really difficult, especially on our self-esteem. You said that you quit college twice, but after the first time you still went back to give it another shot. That's amazing and shows you are strong and dedicated because you gave it another go. Were you able to change any of your subjects or reduce your workload the second time you went back to college?

You said that you feel it's a fight to get to your future career. From reading your post you seem really ambitious and that is a great quality to have. It's okay to take your time . Are you still in college or do you have plans to go back?

We are here for you on the boards, do keep posting here whenever you like

Former Member

Aife wrote: »

Hey Jess,

It sounds like you've been going through a really difficult time. For many of us we do put so much pressure on ourselves to do well and when we fail it can be really difficult, especially on our self-esteem. You said that you quit college twice, but after the first time you still went back to give it another shot. That's amazing and shows you are strong and dedicated because you gave it another go. Were you able to change any of your subjects or reduce your workload the second time you went back to college?

You said that you feel it's a fight to get to your future career. From reading your post you seem really ambitious and that is a great quality to have. It's okay to take your time . Are you still in college or do you have plans to go back?

We are here for you on the boards, do keep posting here whenever you like

Hello Aife,

The second time i went back to college i changed to study health and social care instead of film and media studies. I plan to go back to college in September, i know its going to be so tough but i need to do it for myself and for my future; i really want to become a counsellor so going forward i need the qualifications but also the gain in confidence and other interpersonal skills to help me pursue this career path.

I really want to help others; i feel like in the family i have taken the role as peace keeper and problem solver already.

Former Member

Aife wrote: »

Hey Jess,

It sounds like you've been going through a really difficult time. For many of us we do put so much pressure on ourselves to do well and when we fail it can be really difficult, especially on our self-esteem. You said that you quit college twice, but after the first time you still went back to give it another shot. That's amazing and shows you are strong and dedicated because you gave it another go. Were you able to change any of your subjects or reduce your workload the second time you went back to college?

You said that you feel it's a fight to get to your future career. From reading your post you seem really ambitious and that is a great quality to have. It's okay to take your time . Are you still in college or do you have plans to go back?

We are here for you on the boards, do keep posting here whenever you like

Hello Aife,

The second time i went back to college i changed to study health and social care instead of film and media studies. I plan to go back to college in September, i know its going to be so tough but i need to do it for myself and for my future; i really want to become a counsellor so going forward i need the qualifications but also the gain in confidence and other interpersonal skills to help me pursue this career path.

I really want to help others; i feel like in the family i have taken the role as peace keeper and problem solver already.

Former Member

Its my birthday today and i still feel pretty crap to be honest. - i really want to speak to a counsellor - i dont see my counsellor till Wednesday. I need to talk to someone about controlling my anger.

Aoife

Hi Jess,

Happy Birthday! :birthday: I'm sorry to hear that you aren't feeling good and not able to see your counsellor until Wednesday. If you are around this evening, The Mix have a support chat running from 8-9.30pm if want to chat about anything that is on your mind and get support from the group.

The Mix also have a few ways you can speak to an advisor - I've linked you to the page here and The Mix have an article about managing anger which might be useful here. Hopefully they might be useful.

I think it is great that you have a passion for helping others Health and Social Care sounds really interesting and that is a great step that you have plans to go back to college in September. From reading your post you already have great qualities that will help you to throughout your studies and become a great counsellor. In the past, how do you feel the support has been at your college? Are there teachers you can ask for advice on any work that might be difficult?

I hope you have a great birthday, do feel free to keep posting here whenever you like we are here for you