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Tw: suicidal thoughts
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I am struggling with my suicidal thoughts. I know how. There is no reason for it not to work provided I am alone. But our schedule is busy and I don't know when I will next be home alone. I wouldn't want a family member to find me. That is the main thing stopping me. I think about leaving and going to the woods to do it, but I cannot overcome my agoraphobia. I am very scared, confused and desperate to stay alive but terrified of asking for help. Yet here I am. Please help me.
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It's good of you to be mindful of the rules here - the content of PMs is between you and whoever you're talking to, and it's okay to talk about suicidal feelings on threads as long as any details of harmful behavior or talk of plans are kept to one side. It's important that anything publicly visible is safe for others in the community to read.
If you do find yourself in need of some support with those feelings and a chance to talk about them without restriction then we'd really recommend talking to Samaritans, Papyrus or I'm Alive (who also have a webchat service if you're not keen on the phone). Otherwise like I said you're welcome to talk about the feelings behind what you're expressing here, and we'll always be here for you to vent if you need to. :yes:
I can tell you're really hurting, and it must feel suffocating being trapped between all these different feelings as well as agrophobia on top of that.
Do let us know how you get on, and I hope you manage to get through tonight okay. *hug*
I do get professional "help" that I can't escape from. They say they can't just leave me alone. They threaten to put me away again all the time. I hate them, they ruined me. I can't tell anyone I know. I can't upset anyone like that. It would be wrong.
Just checking in to see how you're doing? Sounds like you managed to keep busy and get through the day so well done you :yes:
What is it that worries you about reaching out for help or talking to someone you know? I can understand that it's a confusing and scary time for you right now; you're doing so great posting on here *hug*
You've had quite a few replies already, but just wanted to let you know if you do feel like the help you're already getting isn't beneficial there are other places you can go to give you some help! Here are some links for you where you can talk to experts so they can help you through what you're going through. Very proud of you for speaking out about how you're feeling! Well done! Hope you have a much better day today
Drea
Links: http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us
http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/suicidal-thoughts.html
I have to be careful who I talk to because I don't want to be put away again.
It sounds like you're trying to help yourself, which is very positive. I'm sorry to hear your struggling so much. We are here for you.
It all sounds difficult for you, it's good you're reaching out for support on here though. You should be proud of yourself.
Keep posting if you feel it's helping you
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "