Help

Former Member

New to this sort of thing, not sure i have the strength to go back on a waiting list to see a therapist/councillor (6months can't afford private)
Anyway, I'm 24, been diagnosed with depression, also previously self harmed & bulimic. Went through extensive therapy, haven't had any self abusive relapses in just over a year. I've just recently started being sick again, and I can feel the urge to self harm again and its taking everything not to give in. I've started crying randomly at points and i can barely sleep! Im exhausted and i just want to give up, i can't put my family through this all again, they think im "okay again"
Any advice from anyone whos been in a similar position? I thought i was fine but this has just came from nowhere.
C ❤

JustV

Hey there C. :wave: Welcome to the boards.

I can't say I've been in this spot myself before (although I'm sure a few folks here will have been), but I just wanted to offer a few words. I think it's admirable that you've been through therapy and managed to take something from it. Managing to stay steady for a year is amazing stuff, so well done.

That said, relapse is often part of recovery. It's hardly ever a straight journey, and having blips and hiccups is totally understandable and nothing to punish yourself for. Moreover, I can tell you're feeling a fair bit of pressure regarding your family and everything affecting them too. It's tough and it shows you care about them, but at the end of the day they'll want what's best for you (I realise I don't know them or much about you, so feel free to correct me if I'm making wrong assumptions ^^) and putting your health first is really important, even if you think it might rock a boat or two.

Can I ask, do you know if anything in particular caused you to feel like this? I know you said it came out of nowhere, but sometimes it can help to think about potential triggers. :chin: Also, is there anyone supporting you at the moment (close friends, family etc.)?

Former Member

Thanks for your reply!
You're right they do want whats best for me but telling them just seems selfish, they've already been through hell and back because of me...i have friends i could talk to but i don't wanna burden them either you know? And i dont want to disappoint anyone
I know to look for triggers because of therapy and i know relapse is common but its just so stressful... Maybe its the holidays coming up or whatever, i honestly don't know. I don't feel too bad today which is good but i can't help feel dread you know? 😔

Former Member

Hey, I haven't been through an eating disorder, but I have been through self harm, depression and OCD, so I can relate to having a mental illness and how hard it is To be honest, that's what friends are for. I know you worry about burdening them, but if they are true friends they will want to help you. After all, wouldn't you want them to reach out to you if they were suffering in silence?
Always here x