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NO support whatsoever, lots going on, all alone..Anyone even care?
Former Member
Posts: 1,875,648 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey,
I have lots going on at the moment and have done for years. I have no support at the moment. I feel like crap every single day and have many reasons and causes as well. I never feel bad just for the sake of it...
1)lifestyle is restricting and controlling
2)financial struggles-I work 50 hours a week, on a low income
3)oldest sibling of 6, soon to be 7
4)VERY low self esteem and self confidence
5)binge-eating and nail biting is constant
6)severe loneliness and isolation
7)constant arguing with people, friends and family
8)EUPD diagnosis
9)medication (anti depressant) of mirtazapine
10)constantly emotionally, physically and mentally drained and exhausted
11)frustration and anger at how lifestyle is and how young I am for my age
12 possible near relationship with this guy--a totally new experience for me so hard to deal with
13)lack of relationship with parents, can't confide in them either
14) being affected at work, in some ways
15) horrible thoughts and flashbacks
These are just some of the things I'm having to deal with daily. I have no one. Nobody cares. Nobody bothers. I;m all alone...
Hannah
I have lots going on at the moment and have done for years. I have no support at the moment. I feel like crap every single day and have many reasons and causes as well. I never feel bad just for the sake of it...
1)lifestyle is restricting and controlling
2)financial struggles-I work 50 hours a week, on a low income
3)oldest sibling of 6, soon to be 7
4)VERY low self esteem and self confidence
5)binge-eating and nail biting is constant
6)severe loneliness and isolation
7)constant arguing with people, friends and family
8)EUPD diagnosis
9)medication (anti depressant) of mirtazapine
10)constantly emotionally, physically and mentally drained and exhausted
11)frustration and anger at how lifestyle is and how young I am for my age
12 possible near relationship with this guy--a totally new experience for me so hard to deal with
13)lack of relationship with parents, can't confide in them either
14) being affected at work, in some ways
15) horrible thoughts and flashbacks
These are just some of the things I'm having to deal with daily. I have no one. Nobody cares. Nobody bothers. I;m all alone...
Hannah
0
Comments
Talk to me anytime about any of those things if you want to.
Feeling extremely alone at the moment with everything that is going on..
Hannah
Hannah,
You've taken a brave step and reached out, which is shows the willingness to get better. It sounds like an awful lot to go through, exspecially if you feel as though you are battling it alone. You mentioned no support, I know it isn't as great as continuous support but have you considered talkin to people via weblines, or even helplines, for example Samaritans? They can support you with any struggles you are going through in the moment, and often it can help to have a shoulder to offload on to, rather than feeling as though you have nobody at all.
You listed a few off the struggles you were going throuh, would you like to talk about these in more detail? As we may be able to help you out a bit more if we had a larget picture, for example lifestyle restricting and controlling?
Do you currently live alone? - Is there someone around who can help you financially? Working 50 hours a week is insane, and sounds exhausting. Is the money struggles mostly with bills, etc? Or? Have you thought about talking to your bank about financial strugggles? I went into mine when I had a pithole, and we looked at where I was spending money etc. It really helpled being able to go over it and sort out a weekly text saying you've spent this much this week, you are below your target, etc. Which recently I have found to be really helpful. I've reduced my spend significantly.
You have a pretty big family by the sounds of things, and soon to be bigger, do you get along with your siblings? It can be a mare dealing with siblings at times, like, if I didn't go away to Uni, I would not be as close to them as I am now. How do you feel about the new sibling coming along? As its a big change to deal with, exspecially if you have a lot to deal with now.
Since getting your EUPD Disagnosis, did you not recieve any support after it? Or any support that was offered? Have you thought about talking to your GP, and maybe arranging counselling, etc? And you know you can turn to us whenever you need someone to talk, we'll always be here for you, and it may not seem it, but people on here geniuenly do care.
Keep us updated on everything,
Best wishes,
WhispersOfTheHeart
Lots is on my plate at the moment and feeling very lonely, as if all alone with everything going on and everything that I feel
Hey Hun,
Thank You so much for reading and taking the time to reply to me, thank you. I truly long and have that strong desire to get better but I'm not sure I can see that happening anytime soon, at all. It is an awful lot to go through and that above is not all of it either, which makes me feel more sad and down, more or less. I am battling it alone and it's tough. I have been in daily contact with the Samaritans however they limited their replies to me to just 6 a day-I do not find that helpful though.
I feel that everything is pretty much linked and connected together which makes it difficult to pin point and focus on one struggle/issue, due to this.
I live with my parents and 5 younger siblings and this means that I cannot turn to or confide in any of them as such either due to the pure fact that they are younger. I am good with money but don't have a great income etc either, if this makes sense?
We're here if you want to talk about any of the things you're struggling with at the moment :yes:
Yes, EUPD means Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder. Why's that?
Hi Raich,
Thank you for taking the time to reply to me here. I am finding several things difficult at the moment and a lot is happen all at once, as it often does too. I keep crying and feeling very alone and lonely with it all (I strongly believe that these are 2 different things as well).
My head is spinning, going at a million miles per hour. Tears are pouring down my face. My heart keeps beating fast at times. I feel weak, unwell and vulnerable.
I lost my virginity to a guy friend of mine yesterday, meaning that it was the very first time that I've ever has sex. It feels like I've done something wrong though so guilt is present in me, despite being 19 years old and legally allowed to do most things, if not everything. I've been in physical pain since and ended up having to take the morning after pill this morning, since none of us had used protection during intercourse yesterday. It feels strange and the pain is still there.
I keep arguing with my friends (so called anyway) and family. I argue so often and often it involves money (lack of) and that kind of thing and quite often too, my frustrations at my lifestyle show though but yet this leads to more arguing etc. It's upsetting and causes hurt within me.
My self-esteem is low and I have been binge/comfort eating a fair bit. I feel very fat and ugly, Im surprised about the sexual intercourse yesterday too considering how fat and ugly I am.
Sooo much
Hannah
I'm not sure if it's severe enough to amount to an eating disorder and I am not quite sure whether my signs/symptoms/habits/patterns associate with any kind of ED either. I do not know what my exact weight or BMI are and would not be allowed to share that here either. If I did share that information, then a moderator would delete that post as it's says not to include that in a post in the guidelines or something.
The pain could be due to that but at the moment it's still fairly painful and I find the situation quite confusing as well, to be honest.
I feel as though my mental health illness may have played a part in having not considered the consequences or taken relevant/appropriate steps in advance. I do not care about myself, well I hardly care about myself really.
Hannah
It is against the rules as it's triggering for others (and also none of your business)
You don't have to know it objectively though - you could make the suggestion to Hannah that perhaps her brain is altering their perception of their body - and then it is down to Hannah to decide. I understand where you're coming from and why you're asking the question - absolutely - but it isn't appropriate to ask.
It's in the community guidelines - point 1 http://vbulletin.thesite.org/forum/thesite-topics/health-wellbeing/3540949-about-this-forum-health-wellbeing
Plugitin is spot on there, we do ask people to avoid including weights, BMI figures, calorie counts and so on. The reason for this is that we believe it's more helpful to focus on the feelings or emotions around food and eating (regardless of weight). Getting into those kinds of numbers can often be unhelpful and have a negative effect on other people reading the post. If you take a look at the guidelines over at Beat (a specialist eating-disorder charity), you'll see the same thing.
Hannah,
Just looking at the list you posted at the beginning and everything you've mentioned since, it sounds like there's a lot going on for you at the moment. I really get the sense you're feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all and it seems like you're feeling pretty weighed down?
Trying to cope with everything alone can be pretty tough for anyone. Even people who seem super independent usually need to share some of the load.
You've mentioned that you're talking to Samaritans, which is a great first step to take, even if you're not finding them super helpful.
I'm wondering whether anyone else has an idea of how you're doing at the moment. You said that you can't really talk to your family and that you keep having arguments with your friends, so I'm guessing they don't really know?
Looking at the title of this thread, it sounds like you would like some extra support. What do you think would be most helpful for you?
James
Hi,
I do have a lot going on at the moment but am more than used to it, so much so that it seems normal. it's all ongoing and never-ending and things are so linked together and affect each other-All aspects of my life seem to be affected in one way or another. It is very difficult and I can't stand it. I feel very alone and uncared about as well and so that doesn't help either. I feel so many heavy weights upon my shoulders and in my heart and mind, very overwhelming and stressful.
Nobody else has any idea how I'm feeling or about what I'm going through (as far as I know) although a colleague/friend does though. I've confided in and turned to her a lot however yesterday another colleague spoke to me and said that my supportive/caring friend/colleague needs a break from me. This really hurt me and made me feel more alone despite the fact that I understand and respect/appreciate that she has her own life and own things to be dealing with as well. I miss her care and support and feel even more lonely and alone today, fighting back tears.
Hannah
HI Steve,
Yes, that's correct, thank you.
I am under the community mental health team in my local area but they're still working out which pathway of support will be best for me. I mean, I do highly appreciate this and it does mean a lot to me but it doesn't help me right now, if that makes sense?
Thanks for your support!
Hannah
I have been under them since I turned 18, almost 2 years ago...
Hannah
My head is spinning at the moment. I feel alone and ignored. I'm crying again...xx
I know that I need help, of some kind, but don't want it as I wish I didn't feel this way or have things happen constantly. I must deserve all bad though otherwise why would it continually happen? Hopefully this makes better sense now.
I am not sure what, if any, other mental illnesses/disorders I have aside from EUPD and depression. I am meeting with the psychiatrist tomorrow.
plugitin,
I am not sure what would help me best but know that I need something..
Hannah
Hey Hun, no worries. I don't know really
Hannah
When I said friend there, I meant my friend, the guy who erm took my virginity last week....If it means that I don't deserve it, then why does it happen constantly and more often than not?
I'm not sure as I've never even met with tomorrow's psychiatrist and have never seen her either. It seems to be a different person each time and I only go once every couple/few months as well.
I'm not sure which other I could have, if any.
Crying...
Hannah
That's good to hear then.
Im confused with emotions
Yes, really. And they are very mixed and up and down, argh!
Yeah I know right hehe but no harm in that.